Bachelor Pad 3: I'm the Schmuck with $250,000

Bachelor Pad 3 - Finale

It's the Bachelor Pad 3 finale which they are calling the "most disturbing episode ever" and I can't wait to see how this show defines disturbing.  All the losers sit to the site in the usual reunion setting to field questions and, if they're awesome enough, get called to the hot seat.

Shall we start the recap on the positive stuff?  Blakeley and Tony are very much in love and moving in together.  Tony had a crush on her, got friend-zoned a bunch, and stayed strong.  Persistence works, ladies and gents!  The moving-in isn't enough for Tony and he has a big surprise, as Blakeley gives a surprised side-eye to eyeone: proposal time!!  A standing ovation is had, tears abound.  It's a sweet moment amongst the shit show to come!

But the biggest drama of the night is the love saga failure of Michael Stagliano and Rachel.  He's the first on the hot seat since everyone loves him.  He thought he'd be eliminated first or second considering he won the money last season, but he was able to run shit for a while.  Him and Erica Rose aren't friends anymore and he's no longer seeing Rachel.  It seems Michael Stag was going for the summer camp hook-up approach, not finding him a wife.  Jaclyn thinks Michael is a phony who led on Rachel.  Rachel, I think, could give a crap about the prize because she's pissed at Michael Stag.  Rachel felt Michael really led her on with the swooning talk, almost ready to quit the game to follow him.  She was falling in love, he wasn't.  Michael explains, again, he wasn't down for a long distance relationship and she mutters something about "Stay tuned."  What's that you say?  Oh yeah, Michael had a girlfriend back in Chicago the whole time and it was a long distance relationship.  The crowd gasps!  Michael admits he was a liar, Rachel cries about falling for said liar.  Good news is, everyone votes to sad dumpee to win.  Just ask Michael Stagliano from season two.

Gametalk from the losers.  Jaclyn thinks it sucks that her bestie Rachel took away her chances to win the prize, especially since Rachel constantly wanted to quit to puppy dog follow Michael.  She also wishes people would give her the credit she deserves for truly controlling the game, not that failure Michael Stag.  In terms of the game, Blakeley wasn't there to make friends and just wanted Jamie to understand Chris was not loyal in the slightest.  This leads into the anti-Jamie rally which is fantastic, especially since the crowd hates her two (ZERO applause when she was introduced).  Let's also address her stupid headpiece and over-accessorized outfit, which is hilarious.  Jaclyn tells Jamie she's socially awkward, condescending and fake.  Let's add in fashion victim.

Chris Harrison interviews the final two couples, though most of this time is spent letting Rachel rant about Michael.  Nick says tried to avoid season drama, is shocked he's in the finale, and felt like he had to prove to Rachel he was a worthy partner.  It's been hard for Chris to watch this show back and his family is very disappointed in his behavior.  Yup, self-awareness that he was a douchebag.  After the short Chris Harrison talk, the losers get to ask the couples questions to help make their big voting decision.  Rachel feels bad for betraying Jaclyn.  Chris has no regrets and was there to win, though Blakeley reminds him they choose a winner.  There's a fair share of Chris apologies and he asks that they not vote for him, but they should vote for Sarah for fighting hard and getting to the end.  It's a lame questioning and voting quickly happens.  In the no shit moment, Nick and Rachel get the majority and win. 

In the final test of their forced partnership, Nick and Rachel have to determine how this prize money goes.  $250,000 on the line, they have to choose to Keep the prize or Share to split the money evenly.  But if one chooses Share, the other Keep, the keeper gets all the cash.  Yay, greed!  If Rachel and Nick both pick keep, all the losers split the prize money.  Rachel feels they have built a level of trust and friendship and Nick thinks they have a different partnership (meaning they didn't bang) that is on the same page.  The losers deliberate what choice each will make, which most assume will be share because why be a greedy jerk?  They take jabs at Nick not even really playing the game most of the time, just chilling and voting however he was told to.  Nick and Rachel return to the stage to reveal their selections.  Rachel lost out of love, doesn't want to lose the money, and knows you need a partner to win so she selects Share.  Nick busts out that weird aggression he showed a couple weeks back, using his hands to swat around about how no one expected him to be at the end.  Everyone giggles, but Nick was hurt by seeing on the show that no one appreciated him making it to the end and he was an outsider.  He maintains he did it alone and Rachel never wanted to be his partner, trying to leave three times eventhough it would screw him over.  Nick the season ghost becomes the coolest dude ever with the biggest F-U ever and chooses KEEP! AHAHAHAHAHA.  Mouths agape, cheers, laughter, shock, clapping.  It's amazing and it's why you never underestimate those random people in the game.

Rachel is livid.  "Are you kidding me?  I brought you here.  You're here because of me." Rachel says.  Nick insists no one wanted to partner with him and he played alone.  Nick asks who came to the show to win $125,000? No one, they came for $250,000.  Well played, Nick.  I too mocked your lack of presence my touche, my friend.  So to recap, Nick has $250 and Rachel has $0 and got dumped.  Nick insists she only stuck around because Michael wanted to.  And then comes the best dialogue of the night:

"Ugh, you're such a fucking schmuck. You are disgusting."

"I'm the schmuck with $250,000."

Chris asks the losers what he thinks of the outcome, especially since Jaclyn thought Rachel should've kept all the money.  Jaclyn thinks Rachel deserved it and Nick didn't.  Kalon reminds everyone that no one deserves the money; it's a game.  Kalon gives the "well played, man" for Nick being so under the radar and pulling off such a ballsy, dick move.  Tony asks if Nick will feel bad the next day for the decision and while Rachel says he lucked out, Nick insists it was an under-the-radar play.  Erica Rose's question is actually great which is would he have done this to any partner or was it just the situation? Nope, it was just because of Rachel's behavior.  LOLOL.  And then the show wraps with Rachel flipping out on Nick backstage and the rest of the cast feeling major pity.  AWESOME FINALE, says me.  I LOVE THIS SHOW.

Read More

Bachelor Pad 3: A Few Snot Wipes Closer to $250k

Bachelor Pad - Week 7

The final four couples rejoice in this privileged, wonderful status, though Rachel takes a moment to remind us she's been a miserable person since St. Michael has left.  In the latest game twist, the winner of the next competition won't receive an immunity rose as it usually happens.  It's an even bigger, better prize: you choose which team goes home.  So the couples head outside to see over the pool that typically hosts drunken orgies is a giant metal structure with trapezes.  It's a mix of brains and brawn where one partner answers trivia questions and, if wrong, a rope to the swing is cut (while holding a trapeze bar above).  At three wrong, the swing drops and instead they can only hang on.  Wow BP, you're really assembling a decent challenge crew here.  Most of the women choose to answer trivia except Nick/Rachel where Nick takes the brains angle surprising us all.  Mainly because we forget Nick is on this show.  Sarah's extreme fandom for all things of the Bachelor franchise win Chris and Sarah yet another competition.

Chris and Sarah holding the power has everyone shitting themselves, though it's mainly Blakeley and Tony since Chris has been ready to axe her for weeks.  They are making this decision almost instantly with some time to ponder.  A large part of the decision is who would take them to the end as well as who would beat them in the end.  The others get one last chance to desperately grovel for Chris and Sarah, probably in no way changing their minds.  When Tony pleads to stay because he's here for his son, Chris even looks choked up.  Could this a-hole have a heart?  Nope, nope.  Chris gives some long speech about all the teams and says he (Chris) deserves to be here and sends Tony and Blakeley home.  Uhhh, huh?  Worst. Reason. Ever. 

A limo brings the final three couples to the Hollywood Palladium where Chris Harrison greets them with their final challenge, which secures the victor a spot in the finale.  Inside the theatre, Night Ranger is giving a private performance of "Sister Christian" and it's Ed dream come true (I'm having Boogie Nights flashbacks).  The final amazingly awesome challenge is for each pair to sing Sister Christian together as a couple, with a band, in front of a live audience, with Night Ranger judging the performance.  LOL prepare to hate yourselves even more, Night Ranger.  Thankfully they have 24 hours to rehearse and a vocal coach to provide guidance to these tone deaf drunkards.  God I wish Kasey and his tattoo were here to nail this performance.  Everyone sucks so bad but they might as well work on a ridic performance to entertain.  Cue brilliant editing of all the animals in the area fleeing from the horrendous singing.

They might sing like Milli Vanilli but the fans still cheer and reach out for high fives to touch these nobodies.  There's some last minute backstage prep but it's mainly to put on as much mascara, eyeliner, and rocker clothes to distract from the deaf duck vocals the crowd will soon hear.  Chris Harrison basically gives the crowd a warning that the couples are not singers or performers which really means "WE'RE SORRY."  Rachel and Nick go first and she takes the slow part and sings like when Peter Brady hit puberty right when the Bradys got their record deal.  They're at least OK at the chorus and Nick has a sparkly black wig, but it was boring because they are both boring (though Nick did air guitar on the ground).  Ed and Jaclyn know they are shitty singers so go for an epic performance that includes Ed in a bleach blonde Jem-esque wig.  But Jaclyn misses her queue and asks to start again, which is so hilariously bad and awkward, but Ed jumps in to save her and they ad-lib their own lyrics requesting to start over.  It's the epitome of bad drunk karaoke, including sloppy kissing in a song about brother/sister advice.  Chris and Sarah close off the performances and I want Sarah's turquoise lamay pants.  Chris and Sarah are absolutely horrible singers, but they own it and attempt to sing, hop around, spinning, and stripping.  Sarah does some sweet David Lee Roth meets Steven Tyler shuffling, which is always amusing.  The judges give their critiques, which includes a wonderful ripping of Ed/Jaclyn for being terrible, and choose Rachel and Nick as the winner.

Nick and Rachel's winning roses secure their spot in the finals and also gives them the biggest decision of them all: which couples joins them.  Everyone mopes about losing and being terrible music performers, especially Jaclyn who really done fudged up.  Jaclyn's also fearful that her bestie Rachel won't pick her for the finale because Nick might not like it.  In seasons past the BP losers vote on the winner at the finale, so it's a big decision of who to bring to the finale.  There's universally loved Ed/Jaclyn and 100% hated Chris/Sarah.  Hmmmmm $250,000 strategy or friendship?  Nick and Rachel hash out the pros and cons for both couples, as well as the individual elements of each couple.  Nick really believes you can't bring Ed and Jaclyn to the finale because they will win as most popular in the house.  Chris and Sarah stirred up a lot of drama that people won't want to reward.  Nick explains that if Rachel is here for the money like he is, they have to put themselves in the best position to win.  Rachel cries and cries over the potential loss of a friendship for the almighty dollar. 

Nick and Rachel take their places on the watered down driveway to make the big decision.  Both couples think they deserve to be in the finale, which they do for being good social gameplayers.  But this is a game about winning money and Nick announces the couple joining them in the finals is Chris and Sarah.  Ed's surprised. Jaclyn's bawling. Rachel's sobbing.  It's a hot mess and Jaclyn ain't pleased, calling Rachel a piece of shit in the limo and thinks the friendship is over.  Rachel feels like a jerk and the idea of big money isn't helping her feel better about the choice.  Bachelo Pad's all about the Benjamins, ladies.

Read More

Bachelor Pad 3: I Don't Want to Look Like a Whore

Bachelor Pad - Week 6

The game changes this week as it's no longer a solo game. They will compete as couples and be eliminated as couples. Nick and Rachel are forced together as partners; she's heartbroken and he's apparently been here since day one but we barely know him. Even as couples there's one goal: get Chris out.

A big yellow school bus escorts everyone to their next challenge: a spelling bee. Yup, these total idiots are going to have to attempt to spell. The catch for this spelling bee is that they're in pairs, so they have to alternate letters. Judging the spelling bee are a bunch of whiz kids AKA homeschool kids in coke bottle glasses. The words start easy at the reading level of most of these people (love, rose), but progresses to "harder" stuff where they fail (engagement ring, jewelry, obsessive). The children are disgusted by this batch of contestants and it's purely based on academics and not that they've all had sex with each other. After 11 rounds, #1 target Chris and Sara narrowly defeat Jaclyn and Ed in a three-strikes tie-breaker. Both couples win dates this week, but only Chris/Sara get immunity. Another week of this season's villain and the show didn't have to rig it like last week? Success!!

Sara and Chris celebrate their roses and immunity outside before being whisked away on their overnight date. The limo brings the couple to a red carpet pathway to board a tiny plane which drops them off at Santa Margarita Ranch (wine country- let's get cruuuunk). After an old fashioned train ride, the pair arrive at their private picnic by a lake and why eat when you can get into your teeny swimsuits and swim in a scummy lake?? Come night time there's of course some romantically decorated barn with another private meal (and plenty-o-wine). There is nothing sexier than hay fever, amirite? Conversation turns to Chris and his recent break-up with Bachelorette Emily. Chris and Sara seem to be blossoming into a nice relationship considering he's been a dick thus far. They slow dance and make out near the hay bales. And so Chris and Sara have their literal roll in the hay overnight. Ughhh. I hope you popped a Claritin beforehand.

Ed and Jaclyn's date should be a real blast, especially since she was humiliated last week by Ed saying he doesn't want a relationship with her despite banging around this whole time. They also the tiny private plane treatment, landing on a dirt runway on some random California island. They have a picnic in some grain field near the water (is it a picnic when there's no food and just a lot of wine?) Talk gets into the weird zone right away, addressing the weird she likes him/he just wants a BJ relationship they have. Turns out Ed has been pursuing someone at home for a while, taking a brief hiatus so he could come be single on Bachelor Pad. Ed's whole logic is like you come on this show needing to hook up, and now Jaclyn feels like a real fool knowing he had a kinda-girlfriend and 1. falling for him and 2. fooling around with him. Their nighttime dinner is under a beautiful archway and talk, again, turns to this other woman. Ed doesn't understand why they have to label their partnership, calling this drama "like a Facebook status thing." Jaclyn feels like they have been a couple throughout the game and doesn't want to look like a whore. Those are her words, not mine. So Ed likes sleeping in the same bed and cuddling so says they are a couple? IDK I'm so confused and they kiss, and Jaclyn can't live without him?? And so they complete the overnight date with likely some bone zone action.

Now that things didn't go their way, the whole house mopes. Mostly Rachel who is suffering from Michael Stag heartbreak, ready to quit the game. The sorta-proble is that Rachel's partner, Nick, was never part of the big group alliance. Nick encourages Rachel to not be a quitter and stay strong. And then Rachel mopes more to her closest friends, Blakeley and Jaclyn, who are working to keep her around. It seems to work and Rachel seems more positive about staying in the game while still acting like her boyfriend was killed. The new target: Kalon and Lindzi, and they pinky swear not to tell.

Jaclyn and Ed return from their date with rose news: they have to give roses to a couple of their choice to grant them safety (can't be themselves- shucks). Everyone gets a chance to chat with them AKA kiss major butt. Neither seems to want to hear the groveling, set to a Godfather-esque soundtrack. The roses go to Blakeley and Tony, a nice extra gift for them after having alone time to grow their newfound relationship. It hits Kalon that he's in big trouble.

So begins the night of the rose ceremony where couples will vote together in the voting room, rather than the previous individual votes. Rachel feels very safe in the game because of her allies and decides to trust her partner Nick and let him in on her alliance. Well there's no one else to trust so they vote right away for Kalon and Lindzi to go home. Kalon isn't ready to give up or let Lindzi down, so he gets to work on flipping Blakeley/Tony to their side. Kalon's argument is Nick/Rachel aren't real partners like the others (sexy time couples) and Rachel would prefer to be home with Michael anyways. Nick goes to chat with Blakeley/Tony and when he senses they are unsure of their voice, he's not happy. Nick feels like he had to go with a plan he didn't agree too, but Tony points out that they never personally shook on a deal. Nick's little tantrum is making the case to save Kalon sooo much easier.

Rachel magically gets ahold of a cell phone to call her beloved Michael. Nick is pissed, relaying said pissiness to Chris as well. Kalon's puppetry is working fantastically and this game could turn again thanks to manipulation. Even Ed and Jaclyn re-think their alliance because no one thinks Nick deserves to be at the end of the game. But friendships hold strong and Rachel and Nick receive the final rose, sending Lindzi and Kalon home. While Kalon is still a douche for calling Emily's kid baggage, he was a fantastic manipulator on Bachelor Pad. Lindzi and Kalon get into separate limos, but he stops his limo to get into Lindzi's so they can be together. Well who the hell thought of all people KALON would find love on this show? Bachelor Pad, maker of miracles.

Read More

Bachelor Pad 3: Most Epic Bachelor Pad Ever

Bachelor Pad 3 - Week 5

Chris is enemy #1 in the house. He realizes he's screwed and narrows down the flip vote to either Ed or Kalon. When probed, Kalon lies more. God I hate him yet I love him for this show. Chris can't believe his buddies both lied to his face. Really? I could because you're a dick. Ed admits he changed his vote last minute, but he went along with his partners wishes and also crazy Jamie voted for him before. Chris mopes more. DRAMA AMIRITE???

This week's challenge reminds me of the ol' Survivor go-to: race between tables and stack/balance cups and saucers on a tray (six total). They call it "The Great Fall of China" because it's china plates- GET IT? Doubt it china, probably Target-brand. Blakeley the former Hooters waitress totally has this in the bag (even she drops once she gets to five saucers). Who doesn't have it? Erica Rose, of course, who just walks back and forth dropping plates semi-intentionally. Bless her heart. The women's race comes down to Blakeley and Sara, with Sara finishing first but she touched her cups and gets DQ'd. Blakeley wins for the women; Chris mopes. The men then compete and Blakeley decides to coach her new partner, Tony, so hopefully that dickface Chris loses. This drives Sara insane because she's obsessed with Chris now. Blakeley is a waitress plate-stacking Yoda, leading Tony to victory. Blakeley and Tony get roses, dates, and the satisfaction of not giving Chris a rose. Chris mopes more.

Blakeley and Tony decide to go on their date together and gives her date rose/immunity to Kalon. Blakeley has the choice also of taking date #1 or #2, so picks her the overnight option for the chance of "Vegas and helicopters." OBVS. When Kalon's date Lindzi opens up a box to find some expensive (rented) jewels and a key for a Bentley, Blakeley hides her jealously. The date card mentions "pretty women" and Lindzi assumes it might be like the movie. You meant they're forcing you into prostitution? Actually, they drive the Bentley to a totally closed-off bridge for dinner in the middle of the bridge, complete with a chandelier. It's so romantic even Kalon doesn't know how he'll blow money in the future to impress Lindzi. Kalon tells Lindzi how surprised, shocked he is that maybe he's found love on another dumbass show.

Tony's date box includes a map of California and random keys (not helicopter keys, Kalon confirms - I weep a little) to "see the stars with." The mystery keys belong to a jeep, and Blakeley thinks they're driving to a helicopter. Gurl, please. Instead the date is an adorable Airstream trailer with lawn flamingos and hodge podge decorations. Yeah in terms of Bachelor Pad dates, ya got screwed! But in the real world it's a cute date. Blakeley puts the superficial aside and embraces the date as a chance to get to know Tony. Tony turns the car radio on (someone could give a shit about the battery) and they slow dance to the greatest country song ever made: "They Say Love Don't Come Easy" by evil Wes from Jillian's season and the first Bachelor Pad. SO AMAZING. Oh and they kiss and it's sweet. And maybe they make sweet, sweet love in the tiny trailer bed. We don't know!

Around the house, Chris spends his inevitable week of doom moping all over the house, but denying that he's moping and claiming he'll go out as a man. Scorned by the betrayal of Kalon, Chris comes up with the diabolical plan to get Lindzi out of the game. Chris' first stop to begin his plan is with Ed, wanting to put the last vote behind and be buds again. Chris begins to plant the seeds that Kalon isn't trustworthy and they must cripple his game by voting off Lindzi. Not all is Chris' last minute desperation. Michael Stag sets up a nice romantic balcony for him and Rachel to have a private date on. He's got his guitar for some sweet tunes too- yesss. Both seems to be getting the love feelings, not to mention bone zone desires.

Tony and Blakeley return from their date all smiles, giddily telling the details of their date. Chris mopes, talks about Tony being overtaken by the Blakeley spell. Oh Chris STFU. Tony has a rose to give one of the ladies so Chris pulls Tony aside right away to make sure Lindzi doesn't receive that rose. Tony tells Blakeley he's considering giving Sara the rose because if it weren't for her they wouldn't be together. Oh jesus Tony, you're dumb. Tony begins to hand his rose, hesistating at the same time Blakeley is gesturing to someone. Now when a Chris interrupts it's usually that puppet-handed Harrison, but no annoying Chris stands up to pull Tony aside again and beg him to give Sara the rose. Tony thankfully isn't a total moron and gives the rose to Jaclyn.

The Chris that is supposed to make interruptions does so this week with news of a shake-up to the game. Pretty much every team in the house is a real life couple, well except Ed who openly says he's not into Jaclyn and she's totally humiliated. Tonight, everyone will vote for one woman to go home. That woman with the most votes will then choose which man gets eliminated with her. This is what we call production's obvious interference to keep Chris in the game. All plans for this wee are out the door, including Chris' plan to get rid of Lindzi. The problem now is if the house votes off Sara, she will take out power player. Michael Stag hates to do this to a good friend, but he proposes voting off Erica Rose. As part of the masterminding, Michael is going to convince Eric that Chris is the one rallying the votes so she'll pick him as the guy to go home. Michael Stag, you sneaky SOB. I'm going to hug that creepy sketch of you tonight for this move.

Most of the house is dealing with the mega-twist, but Ed is dealing with a crushed Jaclyn. He has to explain over and over he didn't come to this house for a relationship, but he's cool with sleeping the same bed and fooling around without the label. Jaclyn is rightfully upset because she's not hooking up with Ed just for the fun of it.

Erica Rose gets wind that she's a possibility for elimination and Jaclyn tells her it was Chris' move. Michael Stag gets excited that Jaclyn did the dirty work instead of him. Erica confronts Chris, so he starts wondering where this is coming from. She warns him if she goes down she's taking him with her, but Chris insists he's done nothing. Michael Stagliano, full name at this time, you are one incredible gamer. This is Survivor level shit... if it works. Sara tries to talk some sense into an exploding Erica while Chris starts to come to the conclusion that it's Michael stirring the pot. To gain Erica's trust and prove he didn't vote for her, Chris brings Erica into the voting room with him to see him cast his vote against Lindzi. Rut-roh Michael...

Erica Rose is definitely nervous about the votes. It's possible Michael lied to her and she might be out and if she does, Erica definitely won't go quietly. The roses are predictably handed out to everyone except Lindzi and Erica Rose. Erica Rose has the most votes and now comes her reign of destruction. Being a liar herself, Erica gets that part of the game and decides her choice will be to take down an alliance. Erica chooses Michael Stag to leave!  Erica and Michael get into it a bit, with her calling him a manipulator, Holly made a great choice dumping him, and he's a liar.  A shocking blow to the world and even better with Erica going out so badass too. I must say if you're going to get eliminated, this was a hell of a way to go out. It might've been a failed plan but it was potentially a brilliant one. Oh well. We'll always have this sketch of Michael:

Read More

Bachelor Pad 3: Getting Action Indeed

Bachelor Pad - Week 4

Chris Harrison busts up the fun of the post-rose ceremony chit chat and has some mucsles bring in clipboards with very personal surveys.  Questions are mainly catty like who is the ugliest and fattest, which will at least spare Erica Rose from getting pelted by eggs this time around.  The challenge this time is Gameshow Mashup which is a low-rent Match Game with general trivia.  It's a solo game this time, so it's not a pair that's immune but rather just a guy and a girl.  The "Who Said That Round" is the only part worth seeing because it's when you hear all the good shit talked, like Nick saying Blakeley has done nothing in life, Sarah has had sex on top of a car roof in a parking lot, or Jamie thinks Jaclyn is fake. Dave the fan and Rachel are the two lowest scores, so they get one vote against them.  Jaclyn and Ed win roses, which is funny because eventhough it's solo a pair got immunity.  I'm going to assume Ed is going to get blackout drunk to celebrate.  

Jaclyn's date card arrives and instead of taking three dudes, she decides to take her partner Ed.  Sarah is bummed because eventhough she voted Ed off a couple times, she hopes they can bang around again. Jaclyn and Ed are whisked away to Dodger Stadium to put on uniforms, play ball poorly, and drunkenly sing the National Anthem over the intercom to no one else.  Jaclyn's got a major crush on Ed and I'm assuming he has major beer goggles.  Ditching the uniforms for dress clothes, a hot dog picnic has been placed for them on home plate.  In the picnic basket is a rose, not for Ed, but for Jaclyn to give to someone when she gets home (and that guy also gets to use Ed's date).  Yup, Ed also had to forgo the date he won and while he pretends it's OK, you know he's bummed he's not hooking up with other chicks in a helicopter.  As a team, they decide for some reason to give dirtbag Chris the rose (I guess Ed made an agreement to stick with him).  This kiss cam finds them and they share a kiss for some fireworks. I'm grossed out.

Jamie has been a basket case (well a bigger one) since the challenge because her big mouth has made her a top target.  Kalon assures Jamie's she's not the main priority but then tells us viewers it's like petting a dog while you put it to sleep. OUCH!  Chris is maybe regretting his choice of hookup, not to mention his partner Blakeley who doesn't like that he's getting ga-ga over Sarah now.  Chris is dealing with a lot of crazy, since he hates his partner Blakeley with a passion.  But Jamie's annoyingness doesn't stop Chris from fooling around with her cause hey, she's hot and this is a game.  Jamie, however, is a giant insane clinger who I am pretty sure is picking out wedding tablescapes already.  Jamie just talks and talks and talks so Chris' only way to shut her up is to make out with her, eventhough he doesn't feel a spark.  Jamie, of course, feels this insane passionate connection because she's CRAY CRAY.

Chris gets the news that Ed and Jaclyn have given him this week's rose and Ed's date.  Nutty Jamie is ready to leap off that couch but not so fast girl, cause Chris picks Sarah for a date.  Insert shocked faces of Jamie and Blakeley.  The best is Jamie being so delusional about Chris being a hero and protecting her.  NUT.  I love that Ed's date is going to Chris who is getting Ed's sloppy seconds.  What a cesspool of hookups.  A car brings the two to an abandoned parking garage and while I wish it was a Seinfeld themed date and the car stops.  Suddenly the driver slams on the gas pedal, flying through the garage, almost hitting a stuntman, and crashing through cardboard boxes.  "Action" date, get it?!  The rest of the stunt date is filming an action movie where Chris is the hostage and Sarah kicks ass to save him, ending the rescue in a kiss.  Their night ends with a romantic, private rooftop hotel dinner date. While there isn't a rose on this date, a makeshift strawberry fills in to signify their attraction AKA wanting to bone.  Chris and Sara enjoy their date, moving from dinner to a rooftop hot tub!! Where they make out!!  And then decide to get a room!!  Insert me laughing hilariously as Jamie sits at the house anxiously awaiting Chris because they're sooo in love and have sooo much chemistry.  When Jamie says Chris is "lovable" and "respectful" I thank the lord I don't have a full bladder because I would've peed myself. 

Since Ed and Jaclyn won the challenge and they hate their date together, Chris Harrison brings a rose directly to Ed at the house to give to some lucky lady for immunity.  The house is surprised by this since Chris is the guy on the date, typically the rose-bearer.  Ed gives the rose to Rachel, Michael Stag's main piece, because he trusts those two the most.  So why rock the boat earlier and save Chris when you could've easily just given it to another power couple?  Whatever, I'm a total gamer I know.  But Blakeley sees Chris for the rat he is, a conniving game player who would've been eliminated if he didn't have a rose.  Blakeley doesn't trust Chris and knows she's in a vulnerable spot.  Chris might be in deeper shit with stalker Jamie who can't believe he spent the night with someone else and then ignored her the next day.

Chris Harrison clinks his champagne glass to kick off the voting.  Last fan standing Dave lost the challenge so he has one vote against him already, so he begins working the women.  After talking with Jaclyn, Dave sees his best chance to break the tie would be to get the women he's bonded with to vote off Nick.  Yeah I don't remember him either, some dude.  Nick begins to realize his predicament so he approaches Jamie with a deal: he'll vote for Blakeley if she'll vote for Dave.  Except Jamie really owes her life in this game to Dave with last week's rose.  Nutter Jamie is now the swing vote and who knows where her mind is besides dreaming about snuggling Chris on the top bunk.

Chris would rather have Sara as a partner (gee, wonder why) so he starts campaigning for all the guys to vote off his ex-partner Blakeley for personal reasons.  Michael Stag really doesn't want to vote off Blakeley because she was part of the core alliance.  Chris feels like if Jamie stays around she'll follow him, he's got Sara who is besties with Erica Rose.  This means Chris has a lot of power and potential safety, so it's time to strike against the skeezeball enemy: vote off Jamie.  Plus he was dumb enough to reveal his entire gameplan.  Kalon is telling lies all over the place, telling everyone what they want to hear.  After Ed talks to Kalon (who tells Ed what he wants to hear), he decides to talk to Chris to warn him against shaking the house.  Chris really thinks he can control the women he's fooled around with, which is repulsive. And so Kalon assures Chris and Ed he's voting off Blakeley, then Kalon heads into the voting room and votes off JAMIE.  Holy hell Kalon, you're extreme lies are blowing my mind.

The editing of this voting session was epic.  My mind is fried trying to figure out who is staying and going.  I wish Chris was going because he's just the worst.  Chris rolls into the rose ceremony all cocky, with his last words to Blakeley as "Nice to know ya!"  Reality TV gods, please let this blow up in this dirtbag's face.  Going home roseless this week are Dave and Jamie.  Chris got SERVED! HAHA, trust no one ya slimer.  Before she leaves, Jamie tells Chris what he does to girls is "not OK" and he keeps yapping about trying to save her.  Yeah, you saved her because you thought she'd follow you around after leading her on.  Jamie, you go girl!  Chris, be gone next week ya turd.  But not everyone leaves sad: Dave gets his end-of-the-road limo ride interview and he loves it.  Dreams do come true!

Read More

Bachelor Pad 3: Hop In Your Nutsack

Bachelor Pad 3 - Week 3

Sarah mopes more that she actually cast a vote against a guy she banged. Reid is worried Ed will learn he spearheaded the movement. Ed can't believe this show is full of backstabbing and lies. Hey moron, maybe you should've watched an episode before and watched it sober.

All the famewhores pile into a van to the location for their next challenge. Wait, actually leaving the rented house and having a challenge outside of the driveway? I'm confused. Dropped off at a field, there's a big ol' obstacle course called "Hot Sludge Funday" where everyone gets covered in hot fudge sundae ingredients. Oh man, remember the Sundae Slide on Double Dare? The women start the race by wading through ice cream, going down a hot fudge slide, crab crawl through whipped cream, and getting into a potato sack to dump nuts on themselves and tag their partner (and yes, Chris Harrison tells them "While still in your nutsack..."). The men then have to complete the same obstacles but in reverse, finishing the race by eating a cherry. The big twist is the couples aren't who you picked, but a random match-up based on where everyone stands. After all the long and drawn out explanation, it's a messy shit show of a challenge and I love it. I also want ice cream which seems like a weird response considering this cesspool of humanity is getting all up in the ice cream's business in a nasty way. Ed blows the massive lead Jamie gets for him, a slipping fool, and as the last place team get a vote cast against them. Fan David and Michael Stagliano complete the race in a photo finish, for real, and the tapes reveal David and Rachel won the relay. Now David isn't a target for being an outsider, it's because he's an actual threat.

David brings Blakeley, Erica, and Jamie on his date and there better be a Blakeley/Jamie smackdown over that goofus Chris. Their date is a club all decorated up for a prom, photo station, dresses, a band, and a dance floor covered with balloons. It's a pretty fun idea for a date, especially on a show like this that beats the same dates to death. But of course, a no-name band plays a private show while Dave and his trio spike the punchbowl and dance. The photobooth is hilarious until Dave sneaks a smooch on Jamie; Blakeley is not pleased. Jamie is so glad she had a chance to re-live the prom she missed because of family issues in the past. Blakeley interrupts Jamie's alone time to make sure Jamie does not get that rose, as she's the planned target this week. Blakeley brings up that she got Dave through last week and a rose to save her would show the house he's a man of his word. With a vote already against her, Dave plays prom king hero and gives Jamie the rose. Blakeley and Erica get kicked out of prom while Dave and Jamie stick for a solo dance as prom king and queen. Seriously, WTF is with every guy in the house obsessed with Jamie?

For Rachel's date, her, Nick, Tony, and Michael Stag sip champs in a limo that takes them to Madame Tussauds, the celebrity wax museum. Everyone takes hilarious and weird pictures with the wax figures of celebrities but they come across a sign that says "The Bachelor Experience." And there stands a terrifyingly accurate wax Chris Harrison and yes his hands are in a trademark position. Who the hell wants their picture with this waste of wax, I ask myself (OK truth, ME of course). Suddenly BOO, it's real Chris Harrison with his face all shined up. The date for Rachel and her guys to get turned into wax versions of themselves to prank people visiting the exhibit. Hidden cameras and all. GD I wish I was in LA to have experienced this. I would've grabbed Michael Stag's butt- KNOW THAT! I think the best part is when the fans come in and either pretend they love no names like Rachel or flat out don't remember who Tony is and then are like "Oh yeah, he's boring!" They love meeting the fans which is pretty hilarious considering when fans entered their beloved game they shit all over those people. Rachel gives her date rose to Michael, of course, and they get to spend more alone time together wandering the museum and making out on some randomly placed couch near Butch Cassidy or something.

Jamie's confidence is at an all-time high: she's got a rose, Blakeley and Chris are crumbling. Jamie is so excited that Chris likes her to she goes in for the kill, desperate for love on TV to show her kids. Mega eyeroll. Jamie goes to Chris' bed, ready to profess her love, and he's like "Not tonight." He also drops a "It's not you, it's me." HAHA! Instead of happy Jamie, she snaps at him that he never reciprocates the feelings back. Jilted Jamie.

Eventhough Sarah isn't part of Ed's alliance, she still feels that loyalty of telling some guy she blew that everyone is conspiring against him. It's funny she still cares considering Ed hooked up with Jaclyn mere days ago. Sarah tells Ed that it's his buddy Reid that is leading the movement and Ed is totally betrayed. But Reid's strategy was to pretend to be bros but then get Ed eliminated. Ed realizes it's a vendetta from their past with Jillian, so he confronts Reid about the lies. Reid keeps pretending to be in with Ed and the others, but he knows he is screwed.

A power couple alliance emerges but the singles are looking to band together to take out the couples. The targets: Blakeley and Ed. Uggo Chris tells Blakeley he's pretty confident they have the votes on the guy's side to save her, but she's still a wreck. Blakeley decides to grovel to the singletons for her safety. Michael Stag wants everyone to vote for fan Donna. Bet she regrets that fan art masterpiece from last week! Actually, Donna is pissed she might get voted off before getting a chance to hook up. But then she makes out with Nick so that helps, right? The goal is to get the ladies vote to be a tie and rose winner Dave would cast the deciding vote, but really Kalon is the swing vote in the dickish way he aspires to be.

Reid approaches Jaclyn as a potential partner or at least not hate him for when his dream plan of getting Ed out happens. Jaclyn thinks Reid has a bit of a vendetta- uh duh. She doesn't take this news well and just starts sobbing to Ed about it, and he's really bummed Reid isn't the friend he thought he had. Ed understands that Reid is likely still hurt from Jillian picking Ed over him, so he takes him aside to talk about the game and their fallen friendship. Instead of a possible partnership, Jaclyn decides to get all the girls to vote Reid off. Ed's hookup Sarah becomes the swing vote between Ed and Reid, choosing between not voting off Ed again or aligning with a strong leader.

At the rose ceremony, after being reminded a trillion times by Blakeley that she really needs the prize money, Blakeley and Ed both receive roses.  Donna and Reid get eliminated and sent into their reject limos.  While Reid laments losing the money, getting played by the game, Donna can't believe the guys voted her off because she's so hot.  And delusional. Buh-bye.  But we'll always have Donna's fan art:

Read More

Bachelor Pad 3: In a Pickle

Bachelor Pad - Week 2

Erica hates newbie David for targeting her so she plans to torture him until he's gone.  The twins are hot messes, donned in identical eye-burning-in-HD hot pink dresses, crying, fighting, and slurring over one twin calling the other a slut.  The whole house laughs at their idiocy.

This week's challenge is perfectly timed to go along with the Olympics because we are the fools watching this shitshow while the greatest sporting event ever is on (in defense, I'm DVRing and tuning in later).  The challenge is to perform a rhythmic gymnastics routine.  Everyone will learn a routine and perform in teams of men vs. women and the best man and woman get a rose.  Like last week, the suckiest gets a vote against cast against them at the rose ceremony.  Both routines include fabulous ribbon dancing, reminding me of the brilliant 90s toy.  I would've enjoyed all the puns the show could've done if they had to use the balls but hey, the unitards lead to enough ball jokes on their own.  Judging the routines are former Bachelorette Ashley and her fiance JP and then an actual Olympian named Tasha Schikert (they do this shit in the Olympics?)  The women perform first and it's god awful, hardly a routine and more like a freestyle by toddlers (my soulmate Michael Stagliano makes a similar comment).  Maybe it's because they count aloud, but the men are a trillion times better and their sense of humor with the leaps makes the routine even better.  The worst dancers are Erica Rose (ha! again!) and Ed.  Maybe he needed a few more beers and a bare ass to be happier.  The best dancers, recipients of roses and dates, are Blakeley and Michael "just give him the prize money again" Stagliano.

For the ladies, desperate is what we shall call the potential people Michael might bring on his date.  There's desperate Donna, the newbie who has a secret crush on Michael and wants him to like her back, and Erica Rose who is desperate to be saved since she's a challenge loser.  Erica and Michael chat and he promises to have her back.  Erica assumes she'll be going on the date and getting a rose, buuuuut Michael came onto the show this time not for the game but to meet someone.  Michael chooses Rachel, Lindzi, and Donna for his date, infuriating Erica Rose. Michael wants a love connection and sadly Erica Rose will have to get saved the old fashioned way.

Michael has on a black tee, black vest, and a black scarf; he loses ten cool points there.  They arrive at an old movie theater with their names on the marquee and inside there's a concert by some no-name band with paid extras pretending to like them dancing.  Donna can't believe she's living the corny lame concert dates she sees on TV.  But Donna's time is up and Michael switches to Rachel and they really hit it off, like so much that they kiss.  Donna scoffs, the paid extras gawk - good times! The after-concert is drinks in some lounge and Michael pulls Rachel aside to "talk" first and by that I mean continue their makeout party.  Donna makes her attempts to be noticed by showing Michael the picture she drew of him.  OH. MY. GOD. I am laughing so hard.  It's a cross between a mall kiosk that does portraits of celebrities and a police sketch artist.  Michael thinks it's sweet and fulfills a fantasy for her: making out, tongues poking out, against the theater backstage wall.  I'm assuming Michael didn't make out with Lindzi or else we would've seen it, but I was hoping for a trifecta.  Michael gives the date rose/immunity to Rachel, crushing Rachel's youthful pining soul.

Meanwhile, Ryan the token black virgin bakes a cake and decorates his partner Jamie's bed with candy for her birthday.  He believes they have the strongest partnership in the house, and hey he wouldn't mind if perhaps some romance happened.  Blakeley hates Jamie, the potential partner thief, and for good reason because Jamie does intend to dump nice Ryan for Chris.  Too bad for Jamie because he overly nice partner keeps interrupting and it becomes clear to her Ryan might want more.  Oh boy.  Ryan tells Jamie that Chris told him specifically that Ryan and Jamie should remain partners as Chris is sticking with Blakeley.  Jamie is confused because she thought she would be banging Chris by now.  I mean she's a nice girl that parents would want to meet (and what parents wouldn't love her Madonna 1985 black lace gloves?!)  Jamie decides to talk to Chris because she feels confident they'd make it to the end together.  Chris doesn't want to be romantic with Blakeley but Blakeley has the rose for immunity this week, so he aims to please her while still getting some Jamie side action.  Makeout with Jamie, makeout with Blakeley in the bunk bed below Jamie and let Jamie catch you cuddle sleeping together.  Chris is a manwhore.

Blakeley brings the manwhore, Ed, and fan David on the "racy" date.  David is so touched that one of these vets would choose him, making him and Blakeley weepy.  Blakeley though is tired of Chris thinking he's the HBIC.  The date is kind of awesome.  It's riding downhill in self-designed soapbox derby racecars (full size, not the teeny carved-in-wood Boy Scouts ones).  Ed's cart is the most LOL worthy thing which is that he paints his car like a pickle and calls it "In a Pickle" because with one vote already against him this week, he's in a pickle.  God Ed, I want to hate you but sometimes I simply can't.  Chris, however, makes himself so easily hateable; his arrogance is so annoying.  The night portion of the date is drinking and hot tubbing at the house the Bachelor or Bachelorette usually lives in.  In David's alone time, he tries to appeal to her emotion angle about how much he loves being here and knows she was once an outsider too on her season.  Aw you sneaky devil!  Chris admits to Ed he is not romantically interested in Blakeley and wants to win the game; apparently she sucks the fun out of the game for him.  When she gets serious with him, the drunkass lies to her and she can read his insincerity.  Despite David's heartfelt conversation and Chris' horrible behavior treating Blakeley like shit, Chris still gets a rose.

With roses out of the way, the house focuses on getting ridiculously drunk, naked, and hooking up with each other.  This includes drunkass Ed drinking out of his soapbox derby trophy and I can't believe I haven't thought of winning something just for the drinking apparatus.   Time for some night vision camera hookups and by that I mean, Ed got a beej under the covers from Sara (or so the show implies).  The twins decide that while everyone is slurring, blackout drunk that they should campaign to stay which again turns into whining and fighting with each other.  The better looking one wants to leave, while the ugly one wants to stay because she wants to showmance Dave, but the sisters are a pair so either they stay together or leave together.  My pick: leave together, go away, you're not hot and are really, really, reeeeeeally annoying.  In the end, the wins quit the game to the relief of the house (and me- their voices- gahhhhh).

Since the twins quit and the show is all about even pairs, all the women are safe this week.  Erica Rose is so happy.  One guy will be eliminated, voted by the ladies, and it's a forgone conclusion that fan David will get eliminated.  Kalon hates the obvious pick and tries to shake it up.  He suggests the girls get rid of Ryan to Lindzi, who spreads this idea to her gal pals.  Reid feels left out and doesn't like Ed/Chris controlling things so he approaches the other girls to vote off Ed, who already has one penalty vote against him.  This plan makes sense and many go along with it, including Ed's BJ hookup Sara who tells him straight-up she voted for him.  Ed's shocked, Sara cries, and Reid is wondering what idiot tells a person about the votes before voting is over.  The swing vote is Ryan's partner/Chris' hookup Jamie who will have to officially choose a side.  Ryan unwisely full trusts his partner Jamie: her final vote is the one that sends overly nice guy Ryan home.

Read More

Bachelor Pad 3: The Lonely Drunk Pool Nymph

Bachelor Pad - Week 1

Are you ready for a bunch of famewhores sluttin' it up, hookin' up, crying, and competing for a chance at $250,000?  I AM.  Bachelor Pad is back people and I am ecstatic.  It's the perfect summer trash show.  Along with the trainwrecks we already know, five "superfans" will join the ranks and compete for the prize as well.  Who will be making an ass of themself this season?  Roll that beautiful bean footage.

The most recent reject is Chris from Emily's season who is mending a broken heart and hoping to find someone to fall in love with (LOL I think you mean sleep around with).  He hopes Lindzi from Ben's season of The Bachelor will be there and OMG what a coincidence she is.  One of my favorite guys ever, Reid from Jillian's season, is on the show and he has an arch enemy in that house: Ed, the guy Jillian did pick, and it turns out those nasty tabloid stories about him were true.  Gross.  Also back, Blakeley the former "VIP cocktail" waitress (AT HOOTERS), Jacyln (who got cast by the be loud at the reunion special), and dickhead Kalon (because helicopter fuel is expensive- direct quote).  The superfans are basically all desperate famewhores, the people desperate to be on television that watch this series.  Standout based on the videos is the SWAT guy who sits alone on couch, candles lit, wearing a matching two piece pajama sets with a glass of wine to watch the show.  Oh and there are uggo twins who think they're hot shit competing as one person.

So after sitting through a bunch of video intros, we have to watch everyone enter the house from their limos, greeting Chris Harrison on the slicked up driveway.  Everyone spends the night eyefucking the fresh meat entering the room; such a creepfest.  The girls stare at each other in catty ways, ready to hate on Blakeley before she even walks through the door since practically all the girls are from Ben's season.  Proof that the show is terrified of the racist lawsuit: they brought the one black dude (also a virgin) from Deanna's season.  Because a show can't be full of disgusting lowlifes, fan favorite/last season's winner Michael Stagliano returns.  Start swooning.  And for laughs, slow talking Erica Rose is back for her one liners and hopefully to get beaten alive by eggs again.  But it turns out she sold a story to the tabloids about giant turd Kalon so here comes the dreama.  Kalon enters next, ditching the helicopter in favor of a flashy white convertible sportscar.  The best is the group speculating about the fans being stalkers; like these superfans would even remember half of these no names. I recap the show and barely remembered half of these losers.

Chris Harrison interrupts the fun to explain the rules of the game, emphasizing the important of relationships (hookups).  Ed can't stay focused to listen to the rules, leaving mid-way to return to his drunk blurred-out tightie whitie swimming session.  Chris gives one important order before tomorrow's first challenge: partner up.  Reid picks newbie Paige, with an awful "read the page" pun.  Erica Rose picks Nick because she refuses to partner with the fans because she finds it inappropriate to associate with those similar to "the help."  Blakeley and Chris partner up, but she's so demanding and Chris worries the other girls will vote him off for being associated with a nutter.  It's fugly Jaclyn who gets stuck with Ed, who is too busy being the only blackout drunk in the hot tub.  Jaclyn is pretty afraid of her odds.

The group convenes in the front driveway for the first competition of the show.  "Falling for Love" has each couple sitting inside a giant heart raised above the ground, tilting until it's impossible to stay inside (sooo upside down you mean?).  The losing couple gets an immediately penalty of one vote against them at elimination.  Said losing couple is Nick and Erica Rose and if there's one person I didn't want to lose this it's Erica.  Not because I like her but because she complains so much about everything.  Soon more teams begin to fall and there's one consensus: let the annoying, immature twins fall so they can get voted off.  But of course the twins and other fan David win the first challenge.  They are safe for the week and the three of them (since the twins are one) get a private date together.

The twins and David "pier" into the future, get it?  Yup, date night at the Santa Monica Pier to ride the roller coasters and rides.  David compares all the rides they go on to past episode dates, proving that he is in fact a superfan but also the most depressing thing ever knowing a straight guy knows this much about the franchise.  Carnivals provide limited entertainment and the three of them end up skinny dipping at the beach.

Blakeley's already in her crazy mode, worrying that she's not able to trust Chris.  She's pretty right since he sneaks off with Jamie and they kiss in the dark on a bed.  "Nothing could ruin this moment," Chris interviews and cue the Blakeley tip off for her to find the two smooching.  Blakeley tells Jamie she's changed since their season for the worse and Jamie makes a comment about taking her partner.  Chris wants to know why Blakeley (and Jaclyn) busted in and it's because Blakeley is her to focus on a partner that's going to give her money.  Turns out waxing buttcracks and lady biz isn't a super profitable career.  Who knew?

The fans sure have learned how to play this game from watching the show, as David and the twins set out on a plan to get the others to vote for Erica and Nick since they already have one penalty vote each.  David straight-up tells Erica he's voting for her when she asks.  He explains they are outsiders and the votes against her give them a fighting chance to keep fans in the game.  So, way to tell your entire gameplay to the opposing side who now know your entire hand and can take you down.  Morons.  It's Chris "SWAT" who is in trouble because he's the only male fan left to vote for with Nick's immunity.  Erica Rose begins fake crying to get votes and Michael Stag takes her side.  She goes outside to call David an "ugly loser" and she thinks anyone who calls themselves a fan is pathetic.  I think it's more pathetic that you're so desperate for love and attention that you went on a reality show, but that's just me.

Voting and rose ceremony night is upon them and there's talk about the votes and anonymity, etc.  It's Michael Stag who continues to be fantastic, who finds it fascinating some people don't get they're on a game show.  A sense of reason in a mansion of ding-dongs.  The Greek chorus of this show, narrating the madness to us.  MARRY ME MICHAEL.  For the men, it's either Nick or Chris "SWAT" going home, with a potentially obvious conclusion since the noobs don't have the majority.  SWAT makes attempts to campaign and align a bit with the veterans, but they blow smoke up his ass about not being sure about their votes yet.  David screwed over SWAT royally by opening his big, cocky mouth. 

To save her own ass, Erica gets all her veteran pals to vote off Reid's partner Paige.  Reid is going to fight for his partner to stay and she hopes to stay for the money and maybe some Reid bonding time. Can't blame her. I heart Reid.  Going down the line of votes, it appears it would be a 6-5 vote with Erica staying, and it becomes evident icky Kalon is the swing vote to possibly save Paige.  Kalon has wanted Erica gone since the moment he pulled up in his douchey sportscar and of course she slithers into the conversation to make sure neither are voting her off, tossing in an awkward side hug to seal the deal.  Reid and Paige celebrate the vote switch, but suddenly they realize they never talked to Chris "SWAT" and he's bitter about this fan plan that screwed him over.  Ut-oh.  Not wanting to go along with the plan that f'ed him, SWAT gives his elimination vote to Paige.  So two fans are out the door right away and the rest will be picked off very soon I bet.

Read More