Reality Rundown: Just Say No to Beginning Episode Eliminations

So You Think You Can Dance

Top 20 Perform / 2 Eliminated

The night opens with this sort of Steam Punk/Victorian contemporary of what I guess are wacky dancing orphan kids?  Story aside, it's very whimsical and the dancers are so light on their feet it's silent except for the music.  The guest judge of the week is Christina Applegate who is the only celebrity judge I typically like as she's well-versed in dance.

Now usually the eliminations happen at the end of the episode but instead we're beginning the night with eliminations.  DUMB.  And even worse, after your dream has been squashed you still have to perform with your partner.  The bottom guys are Jade, Carlos and Alan; the bottom girls are Mariah, Makenzie, Brittany.  This is when I scream at my TV in rage considering Niko and Alexis embarassed the entire genre of hip hop last week.  Right off the bat Alan and Makenzie are saved, so the other four perform "meh" solos.  Nigel concurs with my thoughts which is that none of these dancers deserved a spot in the bottom, however it's the way America voted.  Based on their performances, choreographer input, and ability to grow,  contemporary dancer Carlos and ballroom dancer Brittany are eliminated.  Well starting in about an hour since they're stuck dancing again.

After an amazing week one, week two's routines were a little weak for me.  Fik-Shun and Amy have another awesome week, absolutely killing it with their hip hop routine as two bellman who just mess around at work.  Napoleon and Tabatha really tried something new with this and it was so fun, making me smile the whole time.  Hands down my favorite.  Proving that the beginning of episode elimination is annoying and bullshit, Mariah and eliminated Carlos perform this beautiful, heartbreaking contemporary number that conveyed such emotion.  Ugh, it was wonderful and it sucks a talent like Carlos is gone (at the same time, I love Jade so it was tough).  Wrapping up with faves is the lyrical hip hop featuring Jasmine H and Aaron. He's a musician on the road who visits his booty call.  It's pretty steamy with some great emotions.  Aaron is a bigger dude and commands presence.  He and Jasmine are one of the best partnerships right now.

Onto the routines I wasn't loving.  Perhaps it's my anger that they deserved a bottom spot, but I didn't love Alexis and Niko's contemporary sequel to the famous season 7 off-to-war dance.  They did a fine job dancing and the choreography was nice, but it doesn't even compare to the gorgeous original of Kathryn and Robert.  BluPrint and Brittany let loose in the library for a Broadway number, but Blu was kinda stiff and it showed.  Jenna and Tucker wrap up my bottom and that's because I honestly don't even remember their cha cha routine and my notes are lacking, which means I didn't care.  What I do remember is Nigel didn't care for the choreography, giving a bit of a slam there.

Other routines of the week are Hayley and Curtis getting sexy in an S&M leather jazz, Malece and Jade making me smile with Bollywood, Jasmine M and Alan's seductive tango, and Makenzie and Paul playing mad scientist in the worst alleged robot costume ever.

So it was an OK week of dancing.  Other than the bellhop number, I can't see any of these routines being part of the "best of" when the finale comes.  Quite frankly, I think the show has made a huge mistake eliminating contestants at the beginning.  It begins the whole episode as a twenty minute down and then, since they're true professionals, they're stuck dancing again.  It's a little cruel and really I preferred the past method of elimination, which would then create new and interesting partnerships sooner.

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Reality Rundown: So Much Week 1 Talent

So You Think You Can Dance - Top 20

After a long weekend vacation I'm finally posting my So You Think You Can Dance recap, which already seems dated. But to sum up the episode: talent!  This top 20 is really talented and only one routine of ten was terrible.  The others were all amazing which is why I'm prefacing my favorites/lease favorites but saying these are my favorite routines and not necessarily the best.

Who knew the animators and hip hop dancers would come through in the first week as the best?  BluPrint and Brittany take on this sexy Afro Jazz number that's so Cirque du Soleil/Lion King/Pure Mood Volume 1.  Mary puts them on that oh-so-annoying Hot Tamale Train but it still matters to people so good for them.  Continuing to blow minds, after a crappy intro week in his own genre, hip hop dancer Fikshun nails a Sonja Tayeh contemporary piece with his partner Amy.  There's an angry passion with beautiful movement and chemistry.  It's stunning how good this was week on.  Wrapping up my 3 favorites is Hayley and Curtis' seductive hip hop which totally sums it up.  It was so hot and Hayley really got over her discomfort of not dancing cute but really getting nastay.

Onto my least favorites.  Unfortunately my girl Mariah and her partner Carlos got jive week one, which is just asking for no votes. It was well-danced and cute, just not a routine that gets you to vote.  But truly the worst is Alexis' and Nico's hip hop which was truly abysmal. While it was a fun, light routine, the dancing was sloppy and out of sync.  It was like two non-hip hop dancers challenged each other to the saddest hip hop dance battle ever.  They'll 100% be in the bottom two.

And a quick summation of the others. There's a great Broadway by Jenna and Tucker who are commended about how professional it was.  Jasmine M and Alan peform this gorgeous contemporary piece by Travis Wall totally blindfolded (I'm sure it's on a lot of others favorites list this week).  Malece and Jade, decked out in some old Hollywood glamour, dance jazz.  Makenzie and Paul wonderfully dance their Viennesse Waltz that no one will vote for because it's more boring than others. Jasmine H and Aaron get into this sort of swampy jazz that's very cool and for a big dude, Aaron can really fly.  The whole top 20 performs a big show-opener together that happens both backstage and on the main stage, with cameos by the judges and choreographers. Nigel be tutting, yo!

Man, this is going to be a competitive season!

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Reality Rundown: Let the Dancing Begin!

New! So You Think You Can Dance - Another summer of dancing, people!  I for one am very excited given this season's top 20.  I wasn't that into last season overall, but this season they've cast some great diversity in genres that should make for entertaining personalities and dancing.  As usual, I skipped recapping auditions because that's boring to cover.  But this week is the wrap-up of Vegas week and the introduction of the Top 20 dancing in their specialty.  Everybody let's daaaaaaaance!

The night starts with hip hop, featuring krumper Mariah and lovable personality Fik-shun.  Mariah was one I wish made it last season but is on now and will be kickass (I know it).  Fik-Shun has an amazing smile and captures your eye, but his dancing skills will definitely be tested.  There are three tappers this season, Alexis, Curtis, and Aaron (who is an alternate who took over an injured hip hoppers spot).  Their tap routine is the best this show's ever had and made me enjoy tap, a style of dance that admittedly ain't mah fave.  The first four contemporary dancers perform a beautiful routine and Makenzie stands out as an early frontrunner (also in this number is Jasmine H, Nico, and Tucker).  There's a contemporary trio of battling 50s housewives choreographed by returnee Mia Michaels and I loved the dancing by Carlos, Hayley, and Malece but the emotions weren't fully there yet.  Amy and Jasmine M round out contemporary, though the show avoids naming their specialty since it's a shitload of female contemporary (as usual).

The ballroom number is fun, even after having to see two brothers compete for the final spot on the show.  The ballroom dancers of the season are Brittany, Alan, Jenna, and Paul.  Louis van Amstel from Dancing with the Stars did the choreography and I need to say the best thing Lisa Rinna ever did was convince that man to cut his hair.  And the biggest "risk" of the season, as Nigel reminds us over and over, is having two animators in their cast: BluPrint and Jade (he's tiny, adorable, and my early favorite).  Their routine of mannequins come to life kicks ass.  I'd much rather seeing two unique dancers who might struggle learning choreography than an overload of contemporary dancers doing the same leaps and hands-in-the-air-to-the-lord move.

Once the top 20 are announced, the girls all dance together in a mediocre routine set to "Let's Have a Kiki."  I found the moves unchallenging and the routine uninspired.  It felt like a cheerleading routine without stunting.  However it's hard to watch the girls after the boys routine blows the fucking roof off.  Choreographed by Christopher Scott, the boys used sand as props.  It's like a Bellagio Hotel water show with dance.  It's awe-inspiring, one of the best routines in recent memory.  And then the top 20 come to together for one big ol' Sonja Tayeh routine with this sort of futuristic boys vs. girls battle.  After this top 20 introduction, I have a feeling we're in for a great season of dance.

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Reality Rundown: Looks Like America Loves Ballet

Finale! So You Think You Can Dance

Finale! So You Think You Can Dance - The finale is at long last here and quite frankly, I'm relieved. Maybe it's the recapping part of it, but I found myself quite uninterested and uninspired by this season. I mean there's a girl in the final four whose name I literally only retained two weeks ago. She's a great dancer but completely unmemorable, in my opinion. Thus my problem with our finale in that the male winner is solely based on personality, since the other one is paint drying. Eliana is the total package, but I'm assuming Tiffany has some massive fanbase considering she's never been in the bottom.

The judges panel is filled with a bunch of actual choreographers that have been sidelined all season as judges to instead have celebrities who just like watching dance and provide decent but not amazing judging. So welcome back Lil' C, Adam Shankman, Debbie Allen, and Tyce Diorio. Glad to see your talent finally used on this show that can't get off the celebrity guest judge teat.

Like all finales, all the top 20 return to perform the best/most memorable routines of the season. There's also some new group numbers so that we don't get bored by the same stuff we've seen all season. In terms of new routines, choreographers Christopher Scott and Sonya Tayeh collaborate on the opener, which Nigel says is the best group routine to open the show ever. Ummm OK? The piece has the top 20 dance against the wind, dragging and pulling them around the stage. It's a great routine, a true meeting of the wacky minds of choreographers, but I also think Nigel is a master over-exaggerator. Instead of picking a favorite hip hop number (yet we suffer through Witney and Twitch's east coast one), there's a whole new routine with Cyrus, All Stars Comfort and Twitch, and choreographer Christopher Scott. It's one heated poker game with a table getting flipped (Giudice style) and lots of pulled suspenders. Pretty cool shizz. However the best routine of the night is by far the the top ten teaming with the All Stars for a battle in the jungle. Set to "The Circle of Life" remix, it's a wild, tribal, African jazz, with the final four closing the number as the top of the pride. It's truly one of the best of the season. Way to save it for the end of the season, show!

The best of the season includes some routines I expected (Audrey/Matthew's Titanic chaise lounge, Cole/Lindsay paso doble, Chehon/Kathryn's Holocaust contemporary number) and others where I'm like UHHH really? There's also the "Turning the Page" danced by Tiffany/George, Amelia/Will has dumpster cats, . Cat Deeley proves she loves glitter and shitty routines, choosing Tiffany and All Star Brandon's disco. NO ONE LIKES DISCO SO PLEASE STOP. Each of the final four gets to pick a dance to perform again. Chehon chooses his Argentinian tango with All Star Anya, Tiffany picks the Mandy Moore "Power of Love" contemporary, Cyrus obviously re-teams with Twitch for last week's re-animation, and Eliana chooses "Bang Bang" with Alex Wong. Unlike every other re-dance of he evening, I rewatch the entirety of Eliana and Alex's hauntingly beautiful number (my favorite of the season).

After two hours of fast forwarding (I gots other stuff to do people), it's time to announce the winners of this season. Yes, a male and female winner this year instead of one overall champion. The ladies are named first which bugs me because in terms of surprises, I think the female winner is more of a toss-up than the obvious male conclusion (OR IS IT?). Anyways, America's favorite female dancer is Eliana and guys I got verklempt. I have loved Eliana since the beginning and am so happy she has won. And for the fellas, Chehon and Cyrus get the results of America's favorite male dancer and in the biggest upset ever Chehon wins. HO-LEE-SHIT. Mind. Blown. Conclusion: America loves trained ballet dancers.

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Reality Rundown: Just Give Cyrus His Prize Already

So You Think You Can Dance

So You Think You Can Dance - The top six perform three times this week, a solo, once with an All Star, and once with a fellow season niner.  The judges just get to sit pretty and not make any big decisions as all choices are now in the hands of the public.  Christina Applegate returns to guest judge because god forbid they get a choreographer or someone new there.

First routines: paired with All Stars. Tiffany keeps up with SYTYCD legend, season two winner Benji Schwimmer in a fast and fun jive.  I'm more excited because while I love Benji, choreographer Jean Marc Generaux returns!  Cole and last season's winner Melanie showcase a softer side after weeks of Cole being creeper characters.  There were a lot of lifts but it was her lifting him which was crazy.  Interesting, different number which is where Sonja's choreography shines.  Christina Applegate says "See you next week 'cause you're so good" which in retrospect of watching was the worst comment ever.  Eliana and Twitch dance a doo-wop twinged hip hop with Twitch where she's a gorgeous ballerina in love/lust with the postman.  Christopher Scott's corny choreographer failed them. In a Tyce Diorio contemporary routine, Chehon and Kathryn become people who move on from a tragedy with just one suitcase left.  It's a wonderful piece, bringing so many emotions to the table along with amazing dancing.  I'm not a Chehon fan, but mad props to his dancing.  Witney and season eight's Marco (didn't even recognize him) perform a lyrical waltz about a bride having second thoughts at the altar.  A chemistry-filled partnership, there's some beautiful lifts and as Christina Applegate points out, a lot of hair in the face again.  Cyrus is given a golden ticket when teamed with All Star Comfort in a dubstep number, which is crazy paced and features a lot of different facets.  The intro was stunning to me, as Cyrus is entranced and pulled into the screen by the vixen on screen tempting him.  It then gets full on and faster, a fun hip hop that essentially is handing him the SYTYCD male prize next week.

After the All Star numbers and solos, the season niners dance together. Witney and Chehon perform a cha cha by Jean-Marc Genereux (again!! I'm dying) and it's OK. Mary Murphy points out Chehon's improved but still isn't very good, though it's Witney's specialty so she helps sell it.  Mia Michaels returns for original choreography (and not shitty knock-offs) with a phenomenal routine about hatred, mimicking the headbutting rams do.  This number basically leaves me speechless, which isn't great for blogging.  Who knew fighting could be so beautiful??  Cyrus and Tiffany's ballroom number is a 50s episode of a TV show that never aired and I could make the obvious joke here but I won't.  Instead they sexy dance in the house because that's what the kids do: sexy dance parties.  It's a good routine, another solid performance to give Cyrus the win.

Favorite routines of the night: Cyrus/Comfort dubstep, Eliana/Cole ram fight, Chehon/Kathyrn's contemporary, and Witney/Marco's lyrical jazz.

In other dancing, the six perform as a group to some contemporary/jazz routine featuring masquerade maskes and a lot of tulle.  A guest performance by Oakland Access Company features a handicapped man in a wheelchair dancing with a partner who is not handicapped. It's very interesting and unique as the standing man mimics the other, including some interesting poses and angles.

The dancing numbers over, it's time for the crappy part: eliminations.  The judges don't get to do diddly so it's all based on America and they better get it right (I might've voted? I forgot already).  Tiffany and Eliana are the two girls heading to the finale, eliminating peppy little Witney.  I honestly said "Whaaaaaattttttt?" when Tiffany got through. I don't get it. People must love Celine Dion.  The biggest travesty, however, is Cole being eliminate in favor of a Chehon/Cyrus final two.  Chehon did perform amazing the past two weeks, but his personality is Dullsville, USA.  So tune in next week to see Cyrus win and see which girl America likes more.

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Reality Rundown: Make the Hot Tamale Train Stop

So You Think You Can Dance

So You Think You Can Dance - The eight dancers kicks off the night with a routine with fans and the girls dressed in Chinese silk dresses.  Interesting routine but not a favorite.  It's a new choreographer whose name I missed but don't feel it necessary to find out.  Jesse Tyler Ferguson from Modern Family makes his return appearance as a guest judge, which should make for some fun commentary.  All dancers will perform a solo and a routine with an All Star; don't expect solo recaps cause that ish is dull (and because I took a late nap I probably fast forwarded through them for time).

I only really loved a couple performances tonight. Truth be told, I found myself a bit bored at times and maybe it was the sleepiness from my nap.  But I looooved Cole and Alison's funky Sonja contemporary of the desperate woman after a soulless man.  Cole's face is stoic and angry, while Alison's emotions are front and center.  It's dramatic and I love it.  Perhaps it's my Team Eliana stance, but I loved her quickstep with Ryan from season 6.  She's a bored housewife who wants attention from her husband in the form of a fast, fun dance that screws people with votes. Don't worry Eliana, I voted for you.  I did NOT vote for Cheon, who I don't care for, but I'll give him credit for his slow and sulty tango, which Mary Murphy gives a ride aboard the super annoying hot tamale train.  And lovable Will gets to show off a more serious side in a dance-away-the-pain hip hop routine where he really shines.  Especially while jumping on sectionals.

My middle/bottom groups, because no one was truly awful.  Tiffany and Ade do this pretty contemporary to Celine Dion's powerhouse ballad "The Power of Love."  It's a beautiful piece with excellent partner work that garners a standing ovation.  But seriously, every week I forget Tiffany exists.  I enjoyed Lindsay and Alex's jazz-o-sexual tension, which was simple with great execution.  The lack of chemistry is what lands them in the middle of the pack for me.  Witney and Twitch work with new choreographer Luther Brown who is bringing east coast hip hop.  I really enjoyed the routine (some fresh hip hop blood is always needed) but I found Witney's hair and wardrobe distracting.  Her blonde hair is blowing around like there's a fan, she's got cheerleader faces, and the hammer pants draw attention to her sort of spazzy attempts.  My least favorite routine of the night was definitely Cyrus and season 8 champion Melanie.  For a dance the choreographer claimed was fast pace, it seemed slow and corny.  Even the perfection that is Melanie can't save the dance.  It was also about Cyrus' pants.  And while I love Cyrus as a personality and his solo work is phenomenal, he hasn't experienced a level of technical growth that other hip hop performers of this show have.  I think his charisma is what will give him the male win this season.

The bottom two girls are BFFs Witney and Lindsay.  Lindsay has been in the bottom far too many times for me at this point.  It means viewers don't respond to her and it's time to go.  The judges keep Witney, eliminating Lindsay and I totally agree. The bottom guys are Cole and Will.  WTF? How did Cheon survive? Absolute travesty.  I'm not pleased about what goes down for the guys at all.  Will is eliminated and I'm crushed because I loved that tall bundle of joy.  BOO viewers.  BOO.

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Reality Rundown: The Glass House has a Winner

Finale! The Glass House • So You Think You Can Dance

Finale! The Glass House - Jeffrey tips Erica off that Kevin has a long-term friend with benefits at home.  Erica isn't getting the hint that Kevin isn't interested, probing for my info on the kinda girlfriend.  Yup, she cray.  The alliance of three (and even Jeffrey) decide to try to get Erica to implode and get the viewers to turn on her, letting her get really drunk while they fake the funk.  Drunk Erica starts her ramblings, asking why Kevin "shits on her all the time" and leads her on, starts crying when Kevin straight-up rejects her, and thinks she deserves the money for liking everyone.  It appears "put a baby in you" is a joke Erica takes seriously which is pretty hysterical.  Andrea tries to console Erica, who then says Andrea is a "conniving little snake in a peasant dress."  Erica thinks Kevin is just downplaying feelings in front of the others to look cool, so Kevin dodges the conversation and explains they need to keep cool for votes.  Yay drunk Erica, you so fun!

Mike and Erica enter the Limbo tubes to see who is heading down the tube to loserdome.  It's Mike, again, no surprise there.  From there, the final four compete in one last challenge; the winner is guaranteed a finale spot while the others will face the vote.  Everyone gets hooked to zip lines and fly across puzzle pieces and assemble said pieces on a pyramid.  Jeffrey makes weird wookie noises as he zips in terror, Erica is preoccupied with calling "Hey boo!" to Kevin, and Kevin/Andrea are focusing to win.  As usual.  Jeffrey finishes first but has two pieces incorrect.  Andrea wins the challenge and her guaranteed spot in the final three.  Meh.

Kevin and Jeffrey are the bottom two in the viewer vote (Erica is safe) and head to the Limbo box for the final three verdict.  Jeffrey slinks down the tube and I'm so sad.  He was my favorite!  Andrea, Kevin, and Erica are the final three- yaaaawn but not surprising.  They receive a feast with champagne and grub to celebrate their impending finale.  Orie shares the live feeds moments viewers have seen in the oddly timed live feed times.  This of course shows Kevin dissing Erica to Mike, then the time Kevin told Erica they have a connection, and Andrea making fun of Erica for wanting to constantly makeout with Kevin.  Now do you get it Erica?  This of course leads to more bickering about Kevin being unattached, Erica being too attached- blah blah.

So finale night is finally here (sorta, I'm watching days late and ABC aired the finale days later because of stupid football).  All decked out in their finest, as they enter the kitchen the wall covered with patriotic ballons explodes to reveal a giant crowd in the yard.  In the midst of strange weirdos at the finale: their families.  There's a big stage set-up with podiums for final speeches about what a wonderful experience, blah, blah. Reveal the obvious winner already!  The final three must each cast a final stone and the face still in tact wins (the viewer's choice the winner).  The winner is Kevin, DUH.

So You Think You Can Dance - After last week's abomination of an episode (and yes I know some enjoyed it), the top ten dancers will now partner with all stars of seasons past in their routines.  My initial reaction?  OMG THERE MIGHT BE PASHA.  Get out of my imaginary restraining order.  Judging alongside Nigel and Mary is choreographer/ballet dancer/Natalie Portland husband Benjamin Millipied.  After my negativity of last week, let me say: this week was awesome.  I tweeted during the live episode what would've been better is it they introduced All Stars last week and done the Mia routines with one of the all stars in the originating dance.  But that's my two cents.  Now let's get to my faves of this week.

Goosebumps formed on my arm for Eliana and season 7's Alex Wong contemporary piece, choreographed by Stacey Tookey.  Set to Nancy Sinatra's creepy "Bang Bang," it's a haunting, passionate, angry, quiet piece about two lovers that can't quit each other.  It was brilliant. I watched it twice in a row.  Lindsay is paired with Jacob from season 6 in a Broadway number where they dance between a screen as shadows mimicking each other until they come together.  I'm a sucker for silhouettes dancing, but Lindsay really held her own against mega-talented Jacob.  How I missed him!  Step Up: Revolution star (and season 6 alumni) Kathryn is given the role of super sexy, slithering snake being charmed out of the basket by Will.  It's a fun, vibrant, fast-paced routine that made me smile.  Will is just awesome.

My runner-up routines are Cyrus' contemporary with season 3's Jaimie about the last two people on earth after a disaster.  The opening with a dark stage and their shadows in the amber lighting was beautiful.  I compare Cyrus to Jodie Sawyer in the movie Center Stage.  In terms of technical skills, not the best, but you can't take your eyes off of Cyrus when he dances.  Witney and season 1 winner Nick do this interesting Travis Wall jazz about two ghosts still performing together eventhough no one can see them.  It's sexy and slinky, Witney's specialty.  I didn't see season 1 of this show so I was really happy to finally see Nick Lazzarini dance.

Now let's address that the routines in my bottom group weren't bad, they just weren't my favorites.  All were danced well, they just didn't get me excited and raving.  Like Tiffany who gets sacked with a dumbass disco with season 5's Brandon.  It had 11 lifts which is impressive, but meh.  Plus I truly never remember Tiffany is on this show.  Zero personality for me.  Martial arts Cole is paired with ballroom vixen from season 3 Anya for a cha cha.  His faces are weird but it's Anya's nasty weave and wardrobe's decision to dress her like a cheap Russian prostitute that distract me.  Cheon's hip hop with Lauren was a big step forward for him, especially for being a classically trained ballet dancer, but the routine was not my hip-hop style.  I like a grimy routine, something more bucc, if I may say.  But then when we do get a creepy, interesting hip-hop, Audrey dances like a competition dancing white girl.  She clunked up a routine where tWitch was just being his awesome, talented self.  My least favorite of the night was Tyce Diorio's jazz about a French dude who misses the train because he sees a hot chick.  The music choice is odd, there's no chemistry, and season 2 beauty Alison gets dragged around on a cane.  It never clicked for me, just a weird performance.

The top ten dance a Broadway number alongside choreographer Tyce Diorio to some swing music, a fun little number set on the set of a Gene Kelly film of yesteryear.  I hope the 100 year old ghost of Gene Kelly berated them for last week's bad dancing.  The L.A. Dance Project performs while the judges deliberate the solos of the bottom group.  Witney and Audrey are the bottom two girls; Cheon and George are the bottom two guys.  No surprise that the bench routine performers are there.  Sorry but that routine is untouchable and no one wanted to see that recreated.  The judges are not unanimous for the girls but they save Witney, eliminate Audrey.  For the guys, it's clearly a lack of audience connection that continues to put these guys in the bottom two.  Because Cheon has breahtaking solos, he is saved and George is out.  Eh, I wasn't attached to either but I did early on peg Audrey a frontrunner.  This show, it's fulla twists!

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Reality Rundown: Define "Luxury" Vacation, Glass House

The Glass House • So You Think You Can Dance

The Glass House -  The house is pretty shocked that Jeffrey voted his BFF into Limbo.  Jeffrey's a sobbing mess about his actions.  Jeffrey also admits to Andrea, Kevin and Mike that he did take a little bit of money too (Mike's not alone on the greed side).  Everyone laughs, but Kevin and Andrea are actually pissed they worked so hard to save themselves and Jeffrey in the process and he took the money.  I think everyone thinks Jeffrey has the game wrapped up in the bag.  I'd say considering the edit of Kevin these couple of months, nice-ish guy, funny, rolls with the punches, underdog... I think he totally has this game won and done.  I'm calling it.

Erica and Gene head back up the Limbo tubes and it appears America has finally had enough of Gene's arrogance, as he heads out of the game for good.  Erica hugs everyone except Jeffrey when she returns, not forgiving him for sending her to Limbo.  It takes some time but eventually Erica caves for a hug.  Erica wonders why Jeffrey would send her to Limbo.  Jeffrey explains it was because he felt her vs. Gene would guarantee Gene going home.  Erica's fine with the strategy but just doesn't appreciate Jeffrey couldn't tell her beforehand.  Jeffrey wanted to avoid the emotional drama and it comes up about Erica's big crush on Kevin, her gravitating towards Kevin and the others instead of former-bestie Jeffrey.  The bickering keeps rolling in, fights over everything.  Aw friendship crumbling. Sadness.

With five left in the game there is only one team captain, the lowest vote getter of the week.  The captain of this week's challenge is Mike which doesn't surprise me; the viewers got rid of him before afterall.  The twist is that Mike will go head-to-head against one other player in the challenge, voted on by the four other players. They also get to vote for someone to win a "luxurious vacation" to Panama City Beach, Florida.  Holy hell I am laughing so hard.  I went to PCB and that city is a dump.  There is not a single ounce of luxury there.  Erica wins the vacation and Jeffrey is voted to compete in the challenge.  Jeffrey lets everyone know he voted for himself to compete, and then the house starts whispering that they'll definitely send Erica back to Limbo this week.  Erica's well aware of the plan and unsuccessfully tries to guilt trip Kevin, Andrea, and Mike.

The challenge this week blows anything Big Brother has even done out of the water (not saying much but this show does have amazing production values).  In the yard is a multi-story dollhouse that's "apartments" of the former players of the game.  Mike and Jeffrey have to rappel down the sides and peer into the house to answer questions about what they observed in the house.  Mike's advantage is that he is a lot quicker so he can run to the question board, see the questions, and rappel back quicker.  Jeffrey's more of the slow-and-steady, taking him time to really observe and count the items.  A totally-winded Jeffrey wins the challenge, sending him to tears for his perseverance.  Jeffrey's underdog victory in an overall physical challenge has the house wondering if this was his defining moment to win.  But the week quickly wraps up with the casting of the stones.  Mike has his automatic spot in Limbo when the votes are revealed it's 2-2: Erica and Kevin.  As the Limbo guy, Mike gets to choose who joins him and of course he picks Erica and not BFF Kevin.

So You Think You Can Dance - It feels like it's been forever (two weeks is eternity after my Olympics binge) and after being off those weeks we're losing four dancers tonight to get down to a top 10.  Normally I might be upset about losing this many people but I kinda forget them.  The twist of the evening is that all routines will be choreographed by Mia Michaels... in previous seasons.  So remember all those classic numbers you've loved with certain people? Let's shove in some newbies and then remember how good they were before and not now.  I like the idea of everyone dancing the same genre because then people don't get screwed on genre (ballroom), but I hate repeating the old original work.  There was two weeks off, the minds should've been racing.  The only thing new this week are the guest judges, Royal Ballet dancers/Ballet Boys Michael Nunn and Billy Trevitt and since they haven't seen this show before they can provide unbiased opinions.

So yeah, I have a huge chip on my should about this episode.  Instead of enjoying people dancing, you're comparing it to far better performances, Emmy nominated, iconic performances of the show's history.  Not to mention many of these past routines were choreographed with specific dancers in mind, making it their routine.  This entire night is pale imitations to the past and no matter what, sucked.  I have loved this show since I started in season two but as I watch this episode I'm just angry.  I found every second of this episode boring, tedious, and I wished it would end.  I have never felt that way about this show.  It saddens me to be such a dick but it's the honest truth and I can't give a best/worst performances rating this week.  I'll recap what people danced and instead you should YouTube those past routines to see the amazing bits.

Since I didn't like anything, here's what routines they decided to remake and pale in comparison to the originators.  Cyrus and Eliana get Katee and Twitch's season 4 "Mercy" routine with the door separating between them, kicking it around. George and Tiffany have season 4's "Hometown Glory" which is the one where  Josh lifts Katee in this assisted running step, like floating on air.  Mia cries, judges say they "murdered" routine in a positive way.  Amelia's pale butt gets tapped a bunch of times by Will in an embarassing rendition of season 5's butt dance.  Janelle's wild hair and a lack of partner passion make the remae of Kherington and Twitch's bed routine dull.  The crowd didn't even chair when Janelle leapt over the bed throwing roses.  Audrey and Matthew get a lecture from Nigel about not truly appreciating and telling the story of Mia's dead dad dance as well as the original by Lacey and Neil in season 3.  Lindsey and Cole are I guess the best of the night with "Addiction," originally danced by Kayla and Kupono in season 5.  I thin it's because Cole is so convincing and creepy in the role.  It's the only time I admitted I liked a routine in this debacle.  The biggest AW HELL NO is when Whitney and Kheon perform the bench dance, the iconic, definitive routine of this entire series performed by season 2's Travis and Heidi.  Sorry, but no.  For me, this was an untouchable routine so yeah, I'm very annoyed at this night.

The 14 perform as a group in tuxes and gowns, swinging off some rope things from the ceiling.  Let's add that everyone in this routine kisses their partner a long time, so swoon alert I guess.  Or if you're like me you think "Finally some original choreography tonight!"  After Nigel explains why this was a good theme (hey choreographers replace dancers all the time!), the bottom 6 are announced.  Amelia, Whitney, Janelle, George, Dareian, and Matt are the bottom group and all dance solos.  Well considering Whitney was part of the only routine tonight that wasn't 100% awful, she's safe so it's a done deal and Janelle and Amelia are out.  For the guys George is saved, sending home Dareian (OK) and Matthew (an actual shocker, I thought he was a frontrunner).  And then I breath a sigh of relief that this truly horrible episode has ended.

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Reality Rundown: Makeout Party in the Glass House

The Glass House - Jeffrey lets Kevin know the stone cast against him wasn't him and it becomes apparent that the lone vote is Gene.  The guys aren't loving Gene's deceptive gameplay.  Jeffrey continues being uber-popular by having a kissing contest with Erica and Joy.  Let me remind you, Jeffrey is a gay, ginger bear.  And if that's not weird enough, the whole house sitting close-up staring at the kidding is awkward as all hell.  Joy wins for showmanship (AKA it being most like a lapdance) and Erica wins for authenticity.  At a high school themed party, everyone plays up the roles given to them (winner is Kevin the jock who talks about getting a full ride from state) and a drunk Erica tries to make a move on Kevin again; it fails.  At yet another party (theme: toga), Kevin and Erica discuss his rejection of her.  Kevin claims it's because he didn't want to take advantage of a drunk girl but c'mon Erica... he's just not that into you.  Then Joy and Mike fight about it.  I feel like every episode has Joy and Mike fighting about everyone else's business.  It gets back to Erica, more bickering.  This is why you don't hook-up on reality shows when you've down a few cocktails.

Andrea and Holly return up the bank tubes from Limbo to get the verdict.  While I can't stand Andrea, it's a huge duh moment when Holly get sucked back down the tube.  Andrea's alliance is happy to see her, the rest... meh.  Kevin gives Andrea the rundown on the hinky vote against him and lets her into the fold that Jeffrey wants Gene and Joy gone next.  The whole house begins to notice his cockiness, especially when he tells Joy the viewers keep her around for his amusement.  "I'm not your concubine!" Joy exclaims.

The viewers vote Mike and Stephanie team captains.  Stephanie being a captain surprises everyone, especially knowing she had the least number of votes.  Stephanie begins to cry, realizing she's at the bottom because viewers aren't connecting with her.  Well her chugging wine straight from the box bladder earlier earned a few cred points with me, but I also don't vote for this shit.

Mike drafts Gene, Jeffrey, and Andrea to his team; skipping over Kevin so both of them won't be in Limbo. Stephanie chooses Erica, Joy, and Kevin.  The challenge is to decode clues to solve puzzles and questions, with teammates also being spun on some giant decoder wheel.  Summarizing Glass House challenges can be so confusing at times.  It's like the Battle of the Sexes episode of Saved by the Bell (yes a Tori episode) where they solve the puzzle "Honor Thy Principal" aka "Honor Thy Bucket of Chicken."  Stephanie's team nails it, but Gene really screws it up for Mike's team and Mike regrets trusting the shady Gene.  Stephanie's team wins the challenge and as the puzzle solver of the winning team, she wins a trip to Las Vegas.

Mike being the losing team captain is automatically in Limbo, which leaves Andrea, Jeffrey, and Gene as the choices to join him.  Jeffrey is confident Mike is going to get eliminated and thinks they should spare Andrea, making her a likely least popular team captain next week.  Jeffrey decides to make a bold move, based on how he's read the viewers votes thus far: he asks his friends to vote him into Limbo.  It's a huge strategic move that could backfire (LOL yeah right, we know Jeffrey is the top contender to win).  Jeffrey receives all the votes and gets into the tube to Limbo with Mike.  Don't worry: we'll be seeing that ginger bear again.

So You Think You Can Dance - The night begins with a bummer: no SYTYCD for two weeks because of the Olympics.  It makes me sad, but relieved.  I'm an Olympics junkie and don't want to miss any of the good stuff.  Joining Nigel and Mary this week is Christina Applegate, always an entertaining guest who knows her dance stuff.

There were some brilliant routines this week.  Like, so hard to narrow them down.  Brandon and Amber, a new partnership, benefited from losing their dud partners.  Their jazz routine about a couple in the sweaty south getting sexy after a long day.  It was hot, sweaty, and full of chemistry.  Lindsay and Cole dance this spectacularly lit contemporary number by Stacey Tookey, where the low lights create spectacular shadows as they fly across the stage.  It was simply gorgeous.  In another moment of spectacular lighting, Witney and Cheon's contemporary routine by Stacey Tookey begins with merely a spotlight following them though the solo part of Whitney Houston's "I Will Always Love You."  When that high note hits, the lights come on and there's this spectacular jump/lift and it's breathtaking.  I got verklempt; just a beautiful, passionate number.  Stacey Tookey is on a GD roll this week.  Eliana's ballerina skills are used perfectly in a Nappytabs hip hop routine with her partner Cyrus, as he is a robot that brings to life the ballerina inside a music box.  It's amazing and finally some of the grimy hip hop with a dark side.

The middle of the pack for me are Tiffany and George, with a cute hip hop about babysitters with a crying kid and Amelia and Will's black and white jazz.  Ok routines, but nothing special. very stretchy. flingy.

It truly pains me to have to put my boyfriend Sasha's cha cha in the worst, but I had to.  The choreography was good, but the song choice of "Call Me Maybe" was weird for a cha cha.  And it wasn't danced well by Janelle and Dareian; even I noticed their sloppy feet.  Audrey and Matt slip to the bottom this week with a salsa by new choreographer Liz Lira.  The song choice was odd and it made the salsa slow and boring, not fast and sexy.

In the other routines of the evening, Tyce Diorio choregraphs a group number where everyone looks like Charlie Chaplin black and white number with a red umbrella floating the holder across the stage.  I love that everyone, including the girls, has a bowler hat and mustache.  There's also a special group performance by the Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater, stellar as always.  I need to remember to get tickets next time this company comes to the area as I always want to go and then forget.  The routines are so interesting and the men such powerful dancers.  I know it'd be an amazing live show.

With routines out of the way, it comes to the results portion of the show.  The bottom three girls are Amber, Lindsay, and Eliana.  The bottom three guys are George, Brandon, and Dareian.  Considering that these three girls were in three of the best routines this week, I'm gutted.  Amber, Eliana, Brandon, and Dareian are asked to dance solos one more time for a proper evaluation.  The judges deliberate and send Amber and Brandon home, which is a total bummer because the votes are based on last week's routines, not the fantastic routine performed this evening. Bummer.

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Reality Rundown: All This Dancing Makes Me Crave Tomato Soup

The Glass House • So You Think You Can Dance

The Glass House - The house celebrates Alex and Jacob being exiled to Limbo, hoping America chooses to eliminate Alex and save Jacob.  The Playboy nurse cries that the world, and her mom, will see this show, hate her, and hurt her mom because of the crap Alex talked.  The house learns that someone in Limbo quit the game (we know it's Jacob) and that the remaining person will still be up for the public vote.  Alex shoots back up the Limbo tunnel that can also send tubes of money to the bank (I love those things) and learn his fate.  The viewers voted whether they wanted him back and it turns out America can only take assholes to a certain point and Alex gets sucked back down the tube.  The house rejoices.  I hate fake, wannabe villains so good riddance but he did at least stir the pot.

Holly is the center of the minor house drama, as it's been narrowed down that she was likely the one vote for Erica to go to Limbo.  She lies and says she didn't, but the guilt eats her up and immediately tells Erica alone the truth.  It's not the first lie Holly's told, as apparently she is lying about being a psychology major and instead said she majored in art history.  The problem is Holly can't back up the lie, unable to name a single artist because she must not have even watched a Ninja Turtles episode.  Holly confesses being a psychology major, which she thinks would intimidate people.  But when probed about what she wrote a paper on in college she can barely answer and when asked to name a famous psychologist she says "Dr. Phil." Your college has failed you.

The soothing unnamed narrator of the house lets the players know that Apollo and Ashley and are the two least popular players based on viewers votes. They are named team captains, which means if their team loses they automatically head to Limbo.  Apollo's like "I'm playing an intellectual game" and sorry moron but drawing cards and not playing the game for real is not intellectual or intelligent, it's dumb and I can't even call it poor game play because he's not even playing.

"Ruffle Your Tail Feathers" is this week's challenge and the teams have to hang in whirly birds on the ceiling to transfers eggs to different bird houses labelled with prizes and punishments.  The eggs actually have players names on them so if your egg ends up in the bird house for the winning team, you either win or suffer.  The learning curb to catch eggs killed Apollo's team; Ashley's team wins the challenge and are all safe, an excellent birthday gift for her.  As for the eggs, Ashley wins $1,000, Stephanie has to squeeze 5 gallons of orange juice and move packing peanuts, Andrea has to blow up balloons, and Jeffrey has to peel 200 hard boiled eggs.  Jeffrey at least gets dressed like a sassy nana to get the job done.

As losing team captain, Apollo is automatically going to Limbo and a member of his team will be nominated too.  Apollo actually attempts some game play, pointing out that it's quite possible Gene threw the challenge and would be a good nominee.  Gene denies and swears he didn't throw it and then him and Apollo bicker.  Gene calls a house meeting to discuss the challenge accusations and wants the others to explain their stance which is basically just Apollo whining because he's low man on the totem pole.  Apollo claims the audience will see the truth (the truth that Apollo is desperate).  Apollo learns from viewer questions that it would be OK for him to switch his strategy earlier and I just want to punch him. NO SHIT.  Apollo's "strategy" to put a target on Gene fails and unlikable Holly joins Apollo in Limbo with all the votes (except for the one vote she again cast for Erica).

So You Think You Can Dance - After weeks of auditions (which is pointless to recap), our top 20 is here!  Now I'm here to give you the 411 on my favorite summer show (next to Big Brother).  In the first performance episode, the 35 finalists from Las Vegas are narrowed down to 20 and those 20 perform for us the very first time.  And it's the 200th episode. And Zooey "Tomato Soup" Deschanel is guest judge for the night.  Partaaaaaay!  Something I'm not loving so much: two winners, a girl and a guy.  I personally don't see the point because, unlike American Idol, the SYTYCD audience has voted evenly between girl and guy winners and if someone as popular as Kent can lose the show to a girl, it means the show is balanced.  But whatevs.

The first group to perform are the first batch of contemporary dancers: polarizing Vegas week contestant Alexa (a hugh ughhhhh from me), George, Will, and Amber.  They take on a Tyce Diorio routine, dancing across the longest bench ever to a slow-version of "We Found Love."  After a few seasons lacking with just on representive, a trio ballroom dancers make the top 20.  I know my mom hates their swooshy solos, I love some top 20 diversity.  Nick and BFFs Whitney and Lindsay perform a fun, slightly corny and medium-hot, threesome choreographed by that Jason guy whose last name I forget.  Didn't love it, to be honesty.

Daniel, Keon, and Eliana, classically trained ballet dancers, show off their amazing technical skills in shiny silver lamay costumes.  It starts like a slow classical piece, then kicks into high gear. I love new stuff!  Next is a wacky, typical Sonja jazz number but now I look forward to her weirdness.  It's actually very standard jazz but since the girls look so similar and wear the same costumes, there's something circusey about the routine I like.  The dancers are two jazz girls, Audrey and Tiffany.  Also making the top 20, but unable to dance because of illness, is belly dancer Janelle.  Talk about a new style, completely.  Belly dancing is new, exciting, uncharted territory and discovering people like this is why I love this show.  Oh and Cat Deeley calls herself the BFG after the Roald Dahl character.  I want to be her best friend.

Handsome Matthew, Darian, Janaya, and quirky Emilia round out the contemporary/lyrical dancers.  They dance a Stacey Tookey routine that lets Emilia play dress up from the 1920s era she loves so much.  The final three slots are given to hip hop dancers: martial arts infuser Cole, stepper Brandon (new style!), and my favorite Cyrus, who definitely struggled with choreography in Vegas.  The hip hop routine, choreographed by Christopher Scott, is themed around baseball for the product-placement All Star game.  I'll overlook the Fox show placement because god, this routine... it was everything.  It takes time to introduce each dancer as a soloist, and yet perform a cohesive group routine. Loved. It.  We'll definitely be seeing this routine again in the finale as a best number of the season.

With the top 20 complete, the remainder of the evening has group routines split by the sexes and then one big-ass group number.  The girls get the big shebang: Travis Wall.  Remember when Mia Michaels was like the choreographer of the show?  It's officially Travis now.  "Let the Light In" is another stellar work of art by Travis and it's so fantastic to see the maturity of the dancer who helped me get hooked on the show, now an adult.  The top ten fellas work with Sonja on a jazzy yet masculine, fight-based routine and it's almost shirtless - oww oww!  Oh and after the Mia quasi-smack I said, she's back!  After a season off, Mia Michaels is back and choreographing the routine for the entire top 20.  Dressed in all black and rockin' some shades (RayBans- gonna need even higher definition to see brand names), everyone dances in a long diagonal line and it's a cool formation that eventually splits apart to fill up the stage.  Welcome back Mia, you are still fantastic.

Guys, this is gonna be a great season.

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Reality Rundown: America's Favorite Dancer Is... Melanie!

Food Network Star • Finale! So You Think You Can Dance

Food Network Star - The final 4 have done some hard tasks, but this week is probably the hardest: Iron Chef America. There are 2 battles and they have to prepare 3 dishes; when not battling, they have to do on-the-side commentary and also critique dishes. Since Jeff won the last challenge, he gets to pick his challenger and select Susie, which means the other battle is Mary Beth vs. Vic. Since everyone needs a sous chef, 4 ex-stars return to help; Jeff gets to select his so he picks Whitney. The other chefs draw names Vic pulled Jyll, Susie pulled Chris, and Mary Beth gets effed again by drawing her mortal nemesis, Penny.

Battle #1: Mary Beth vs. Vic vs. rack of lamb. Mary Beth makes the dud choice right away of all 3 dishes being lamb chops. Susie's commentary is corny and has no depth; Jeff rules and tries to outshine Susie, which he totally does and continues to turn on VP of Marketing Susie Fogelson. Penny is being an awful sous chef, going super slow, and the selection committee notices Penny's slowness, leading Alton to question her. What a total bitch. Vic's 1st course is a rare seared loin of lamb with an arugula salad. His 2nd course is a lamb-burger with a garlic mayonnaise and way over-cooked fries, but the burger is exceptional. Third course is a broiled lamb chop with a mint and Grand Marnier sauce, and the mint jelly makes everyone cringe. Mary Beth serves second with her theme of Sunday suppers over the seasons, starting with a wintery Israeli cous cous with grilled lamb. Her next dish is pan-cooked lamb chops with fall pears, but the lamb is overcooked and fugly on the plate, even if the concept is great. The final dish is the "umami explosion" with sun-dried tomato on the lamb, but it's another bit of overcooked lamb. So Mary Beth has great stories, bad execution, to sum it all up.

Battle #2: Jeff vs. Susie vs. lobster. Jeff is sticking to his sandwiches, with a bisque to show some versatility. However, Jeff loses me at putting walnuts in a lobster roll. You're ruining it!! Susie wants to make ceviche, stew, and an enchilada. Mary Beth is good at commentary because she has food knowledge and some personality (and some lame jokes). Vic is not good at commentary because ad-libbing is really not his forte. Jeff hits a speedbump when he plans a BLT variation using avocado and there isn't any in the kitchen; mayo it is, except Jeff also realizes all his courses contain store-bought mayo. Jeff presents first: a lobster roll is his first dish, and it turns out the walnuts was not an epic fail, and helps his Sandwich King POV. The second sandwich is a Baja style lobster taco, but the batter is too thick on the lobster. His final course is a lobster club sandwich with a lobster bisque shooter, which they like but wish there was a little lemon in that mayo. Susie then serves her first course: a lobster ceviche that really pops in a lime, lemon, and orange marinade. Second dish is a swiss chard stuffed lobster enchilada and the panel loves her creative spin on the dish. A lobster stew completes Susie's portion of the night and the selection committee is smitten, while Jeff is totally panicked that he lost.

Judging time. The committee acknowledges that Mary Beth's asshole sous chef handicapped her in the battle, but saw her panic when Alton Brown stumped her during commentary. Mary Beth is praised for being the best judge on the Iron Chef panel. The issue this week is her execution was off and if she's off, home viewers wouldn't get it right either. Vic made an amazingly successful dish (lamb-burger) but failed with that mint jelly crap. Vic's commentary was meh and he tried to be proactive, though he wasn't a very good judge since he was a little soft on the cruelty. Jeff cooked all his lobster superbly but is chastised for not using his own mayonnaise, especially during an Iron Chef challenge. Major props are given to Jeff for charming Alton Brown as well as sticking to his POV of sandwiches. Susie's three dishes were an overall smash, really honing in on her roots but making it even a little sophisticated. Her commentary was lacking in authority, though this is overlooked. In terms of the battles, Susie beats Jeff and Vic defeats Mary Beth; that means Susie and Vic advance to the finale. My 2 favorites, Mary Beth and Jeff are the final 2, and I don't even need to watch further to make the correct observation: Mary Beth is eliminated.

Finale! So You Think You Can Dance - Performance finale time! The top 4, Melanie, Marko, Sasha, and Tadd, will strut their stuff one last time before America selects their favorite dancer. To help guide our decision is the greatest dancer of our lifetime: Kate Holmes? They balance out her stupidity (she’s a fan of the show!) with director/choreographer Kenny Ortega, who directed Footloose the best movie ever. The 4 will dance routines with the All Stars and each other, so I’ll split my recap the same way.

Fun with All Stars! Sasha and All Star Mark (who dances for Lady Gaga now) dance a piece tailored especially for Sasha and the obstacles she’s overcome, choreographed by Sonja. It’s such a fierce, tough routine and Sasha is so badass; this is better than drawing stupid disco. Lil’ C finally choreographs and we get the return of season 4 winner, Joshua. Joshua and Tadd perform what is maybe the first routine I’ve liked Tadd in all season. It’s some grimy hiphop, a nice difference from the corny love stuff we get all season, though Tadd does smile a little too much. Stacey Tookey crafts a contemporary piece about unrequited love for Melanie and All Star Robert and as usual with Melanie, it’s wonderful because her emotions are so raw. Marko and last season’s winner Lauren dance another break-up routine (man, choreographers get dumped a lot) but with two powerhouse dancers you really get to see magic happening as they perform. I’d say it’s the best routine of the night.

The final 4 partner swap extravaganza. Marko and Melanie dance the season’s (thankfully) only disco number. Disco is so hokey and needs to go away, which I could’ve sworn it did when it died 30 years ago, and this routine doesn’t do either of these talents any justice. Sasha is a skanky diner who wants to bang her waiter in a Broadway routine and boy, is Sasha in it to win it. Marko is great as well but man did those nerd glasses throw me off. Tadd and Sasha dance the cha cha choreographed by Dancing with the Stars pro, Mark Ballas. It’s sexy and has a spanking like 10 seconds in, you know, for the kids, but overall it’s awkward and poorly danced. Tadd is a cheater caught by Melanie and the shoes (and clothes) come off in the process. I feel like the costume designers hate Melanie by putting her in high-waisted stretch pants when she has some curves down thurr. I don’t see the sexy in the routine and am bored by it, but the judges like the routine and the dedication to character. What a lackluster finale (and Nigel agrees). Melanie and Sasha bring their girl power again as housewives that breakfree from the clutches of their dull lives. The gray stage and bright costumes reminds me of Pleasantville and the dancing is stellar as you feel the build-up of sadness to jubilation in their quest for freedom, until reality sets in and they’re trapped. Great story, great piece. Marko and Tadd get a twist on normal hip hop: gumboot stepping from South Africa. Costumed as goldminders and dancing to “B.O.B.” by Outkast, it’s a fucking mess. Like the sloppiest dance I’ve seen all season and this supposed to be the best. Yikes.

The performance finale was no doubt the worst episode of the season. The choreography for the most part really let the talent down. There were some excellent pieces, but others were just dreadful (disco, gumboot stepping). I still believe it will come to Melanie and Sasha, and I’ve been Team Melanie since the beginning so I'm routing for her to win, but I could see Sasha sweeping in and getting the win.

The results are in but before the news can be announced we are treated to some of the best routines of the season. The judging panel, with extras in the form of Sonja, Lil' C, Robin Antin, Tyce Diorio, and Jesse Tyler Ferguson, congratulate the four for a job well done this season. Nigel apologizes for being rude to the guys last night saying they couldn't win, so either he knows something we don't or he just has a guilty conscience.

Memorable routines of the seasons are performed and I was going to list them all, then realized that's so boring. My favorites that they performed again: Sasha/Kent dancing against the wall, Melanie and Marko's jilted at the altar hip-hop, Robert and Miranda's "Break Ya Neck" bird dance (forgettable dancers, fantastic dance), All Star Neil and Melanie's beautiful Mandy Moore "Total Eclipse of the Heart" piece, Marko and All Star Allison's contemporary routine that brought Lady Gaga and his mom to tears, Twitch's romantic hip hop with Sasha (and he's fresh from the Step Up 4 set!!), and of course, the statue routine by Travis Wall (my favorite of the whole season). Cat Deeley requested they re-air the top 8 circus routinesince it made her cry.

The winner of SYTYCD UK, tapper Matt Flint, performs on the show as part of his prize for winning. He performs in a trio with Jess and the tapper guy who got eliminated like week 2. Good thing my mom is missing the finale- she hates tapping. But the routine is pretty great. Later, the final 4 get to meet Naya Rivera, Heather Morris, and Henry Shum Jr. from Glee and go to the Glee 3D premiere.

At the beginning of the second half of the show, the final 4 are brought out to announce the 4th place dancer: Tadd. Not a surprise that he's 4th and I still can't believe he made it this far. I blame it on a mediocre group of male dancers this season. With 20 minutes left to the show, Marko is eliminated from the competition; my Melanie/Sasha final 2 prediction from weeks ago came true! Before the final results, Sasha and Melanie dancing their fierce Sonja jazz routine which shows how powerful they are and what an unstoppable force they were all competition. Time for the big moment. The winner of So You Think You Can Dance is... with 47% of the vote... MELANIE!! Won' lie, got a little verklempt as I maintain she's one of the best dancers this show has ever had.

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Reality Rundown: Sue Ellen Crandell Knows A Lot About Dance

Food Network Star • So You Think You Can Dance

Food Network Star - The "stars" head to Chelsea Market's market area for their challenge. They have an hour to run around and taste a bunch of junk, then have to pick one favorite and tape a "The Best Thing I Ever Ate" segment. My best thing I ever ate: pineapple Dole Whip Float from Disney World. Yours? So the "stars" run around and taste tons of grub and also ask a lot of questions so that their segment has information and not just saying, "this tastes good!" Susie's best thing is a pork dish but just lists ingredients rather than convey how tasty the food really is. Vic talks about a dish that's both chicken and eggplant parmesan, but must not listen at all since he too ignored describing the taste of the dish. Jeff heeds advice and talks about a delicious reuben, making me super hungry and showing he's a natural for this show. Mary Beth is a food blogger, so describing food is her forte, and she's sooo into the food even if she says "milimeter" too much. Whitney is immediately intimidated because Mary Beth also did crepes and did it first, so then it gets a little awkward eventhough she could've said the same thing cause she felt the same emotions. Bobby gives the win to Jeff, with Mary Beth right behind him.

The Star Challenge this week is to turn a protein into a roast. As winner of the Camera Challenge, Jeff gets to assign the proteins: Whitney- pork crown roast, Vic- prime rib, Mary Beth- duck, Susie- leg of lamb, and for himself, rump roast. Turns out not only are they making roasts, but they are getting roasted. The "stars" will serve their dishes to "A-list comedians" which includes Louie Anderson (yeah), Judy Gold, Gilbert Gottfried (f-yes), Aubrey Plaza, and Anthony "Hang Time forever" Anderson.

Vic serves his big-ass bone in prime-rib, which looks like Medieval Times portions, served with potatoes and maybe some asparagus. The panel thinks he should stick to the mama's boy angle and ditch the stupid-ass Vic Vegas thing. Mary Beth has never cooked a whole duck before so is in panic mode. She presents the panel blackberry glazed duck with potatoes roasted in the duck fat- tres fancy! Mary Beth's personality is totally lost in a boring, academic presentation- total nerdfest and not a single Aflac duck joke. Jeff's rump roast translates to an Italian beef sandwich with homemade chips and au jus. Jeff and the comedians hit it off and he gets forced to relive his old stand-up days of making jokes about being a fat kid. Gilbert tells Jeff he'd give him a cooking show just to never heard his stand-up again. Zing! Susie makes a spiced leg of lamb with chipotle potato au gratin and braised carrots with beets and carmelized onions. A shitload of starches tonight, fo sho. Susie is bright, bubbly, and still able to convey her emotional back story with a delicious dish. Whitney is all smiles until she talks about her parents and then gets all weepy. She prepares Berkshire pork and gives the TMI of the animal being only 3 years old and killed a week ago.

Judgment day. The panel was happy with their food and performances, meaning not everyone sucks now. Susie is praised for her raw talent and thinks she could be an excellent teacher and personality for the network. Whitney "inspires confidence" but she's kind of a drag and not fun. Mama's boy Vic is happy to leave Vic Vegas behind and become this new man, though the judges worry he might change personalities again. His massive slab of Flintstones meat didn't help much in the earning points department. Jeff did well with the comedians without trying to outfunny or get overshadowed, which turns Susie Fogelson on. Mary Beth's duck was delicious, despite her earlier panic, but she was such an Encyclopedia Britanica with her dumb duck facts. Jeff, Susie, and Vic are the stand-outs, and Jeff takes top honors again. 3 in a row for Jeff! The judges deliberate over whether to keep Whitney's top notch cooking skills or Mary Beth's eloquent way with words. It's Whitney who leaves the show tonight and I hope my buddy Phil is not still crying at he reads this recap.

So You Think You Can Dance - Holy crap, the finale is next week! Time flies fo sho. The guest judges this week are Christina Applegate (SUE ELLEN CRANDELL, PEOPLE) and Lil' C. And since there's so little left, I guess I should recap all the routines.

Ladies! Melanie is Little Red Swaggin' Hood and Twitch is the Big Bad Wolf for a Nappytabs hip hop fairy tale. It's every bit as awesome as that one sentence conveys. Talk about two powerhouse dancers together. Sasha dances with Kent (!!) in another beautiful Tyce Diorio contemporary routine about hitting the wall in a relationship. Tyce has been on fire these last few weeks and this one might be his best yet. So athletic and emotional, as they dance literally against a prop wall. Caitlynn sambas with my boyfriend Pasha, leaving me full of envy especially with that unbuttoned mesh shirt of his. Ow ow! Back to the topic at hand, the dancer is totally sexy and Caitlynn puts her hammy grins away as much as she can.

Fellas! Marko's paso doble with All Star Janette, and choreographed by All Star Dmitry, is hotness. The chemistry and intensity was there in full force. Tadd gets a period piece with All Star Ellenore which lets him swing on a classy chandelier. I think this routine should be called "doin' it on a chandelier." It's Sonya weirdness for sure, but I also felt it didn't have much actual dancing (Nigel agrees with me). Ricky is the controlling boyfriend with sticks to control All Star Jamie and it's the kind of routine that can save Ricky from being the obvious eliminee this week. Ricky's lines are amazing and the props don't hold him back.

The top 6 together! Ricky and Sasha are tasked with the first ever whacking routine, which is crazy-ass arms and legs. The costumes throw me off from enjoying the routine fully because I just don't understand if there's a story or timeframe or what. Spencer Liff must be a big Center Stage fan (as @NineDaves pointed out on Twitter) because the routine is about a dancer hot for her choreographer, but he's just in love with her dancing. COOPER NIELSEN, PEOPLE. That being said, holy shit this routine was HOT. Melanie is pure perfection and I will be crushed if she doesn't win this show. The night ends with another shitty boyfriend dance routine. The good news is it's danced with a lot of power and energy and not much smiles. Plus, Marko rules. Lil' C calls it double hashtag bucc, so all in all, a great night of dance.

To begin the results show, the top 6 dance a contemporary routine around a giant rose which concludes "prop week" on SYTYCD. Enough props, just dance! The judges don't want to reveal the results since there's only 6 left so instead of dancing for their lives, the bottom guy and bottom girl will be eliminated. Melanie and Marko just the stress relieved early when they are given the good news that they made the finale. The time fillers are awesome tonight: SYTYCD reigning queen Lauren and runner-up Kent perform Travis Wall's Emmy nominated "Collide" routine again and yes they kiss- ooo! The the Bad Boys of Dance perform to "Derezzed" from the Tron: Legacy soundtrack and you had me at the Daft Punk. Then early-jilted American Idol standout Pia Toscano sings. But who makes the finale? Sasha advances for the girls, sending Caitlynn home. I predict that next week the votes come down to Melanie or Sasha for the victory. And the lucky fella that'll dance in the finale is... Tad, so Ricky goes home.

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Reality Rundown: Gaga for Dancing

Food Network Star • So You Think You Can Dance

Food Network Star - The 6 "stars" leave the Los Angeles mansion for Newwww York City's Flathotel, then quickly head to Food Network's HQ at Chelsea Market. Bobby Flay greets the "stars" in the shiny Food Network kitchens and then brings in Ina Garten, The Barefoot Contessa who hates being a good person. The Camera Challenge is to sum up yourself in a cupcake. FYI, I'd win the shit out of this challenge. I guess because none of them are bakers, a lot of the "cupcakes" are merely savory items stuffed in a cupcake tin. Whitney makes the "wise" choice of serving Ina Garten a complete replica of Ina's signature cupcake. I can't believe she doesn't get completely reamed for not making something original because it's supposed to be themselves in a cupcake, not your take on Ina. I liked Mary Beth best with her delicious strawberry cupcakes and story about picking strawberries with her son; the judges liked her best too. They also liked the taste of Jyll's chocolate orange cupcake, less her phony personality. Jeff is the challenge loser for "taking savory to a new level" which means "sucky."

Rachel Ray's raspy mug shows up on a TV screen to invite the "stars" to appear on The Rachel Ray Show for their Star Challenge. Each "star" is given a mystery dome and under each dome is a classic family dinner they have to put their own twist on. The dishes are: Vic- lasagna, Mary Beth- Shepherd's Pie, Susie- Chicken Stir-Fry, Jyll- Meatloaf, Whitney- Chili, Jeff- Porkchops and Applesauce. Along with the 3-minute cooking demo, they also have to do an intro to their segment and a Q&A with the studio audience. So complex! (not really)

Rachel gives a quick hello to the finalists in the Green Room before bringing each out to do their intro, demo and Q&A. Whitney is first and coins the term "gourmazing" which makes my stomach churn. Whitney begins very mechanical and teachy, but is able to get in some personal facts about her brother and gazpacho in thanks to the Q&A during the demo. Mary Beth is super enthusiastic about her Sunday Suppers but her Shepherd's Pie is a pretty basic recipe so she runs out of talking points and energy. Vic is the mam's boy that looks like a thug- get it?! The judges have a boner for him and I just see early flashes of a new Guy Fieri. Vic combines lasagna with chimichangas (lachanga), meaning he shoves leftoever lasagna into a tortilla (but forgets to mention this), fries it, drops in sauce. Oh superb. His demo is boring and has no Q&A. Susie kind of implies Mexican food is low class and she'll make it better. Her take on stir-fry is a fajita and it's sooo boring to watch. My favorite moment is her ignoring the audience member who wants to ask a question. That woman will go hungry forever! Jyll has a great intro and then gets totally stumped when someone asks how her show would be different from any others and she's like "Sheeeeeeit." Jeff's intro about turning any meal into a sandwich is a slam dunk and then high fives the crowd. I love him most. Along with a great sandwich, Jeff aces the demo and Q&A from the audience, while also schmoozing for a second appearance on the show.

Stop: panel time. The judges like Mary Beth's physical presentation of the Shepherd's Pie but her demo was an information-lacking bore. Jeff is praised for personality but said the demo lacked in knowledgeable info. Jyll was not funny and has no idea what her culinary POV is, which is a bad move to make at week 8 when you can't articulate your thoughts. Vic's omission of facts about the lasagna being leftoever ruined it all, though Bobby still think it tastes crappy. Judge Susie doesn't like that star Susie perceives Mexican food to be a sloppy mess. Whitney's chili tasted good but was more of a soup. She presents and teaches well, but her personality and stories are lacking. Jeff and Whitney are the top 2, with Jeff taking the victory for the week. Jyll, who has been stumbling around for weeks, is finally sent home to give the robot that she is a well-deserved oil change.

So You Think You Can Dance - The top 8 perform twice this week, paired with each other and then with an All Star. Joining Nigel and Mary on the judging panel is choreographer/film director Rob Marshall and one111111 of the biggest pop stars on earth, Lady Gaga. This is a pretty huge get.

Favorite routines of the night. Melanie is paired with Neil in a contemporary routine about the crossroads of a relationship. Melanie is effortless perfection, as usual, and receives a standing ovation. Gaga loves Melanie and even says she'd hire her immediately to dance with her. Marko and Allison bring tears to all eyes, particularly his mom and Gaga who has a soaking wet face by the end, in their Sonja Tayeh contemporary piece about basking in the guilt of being judgmental. The dance is just beautiful and their dancing is so strong, and the tears in their eyes while dancing are so real. Marko and Ricky get our first double-dude dance in a janitor hip hop. Imagine if Bert Hoover had swagger: this is the routine. It's awesome. Melanie and Sasha bring the house down in the final performance of the night: a fierce jazz routine of sort of robotic creations or something. Know this: it is awesome and to me the obvious lead-in to these 2 being the last girls standing in this competition. I think a female winner is coming again!

Not favorites but notables. Sasha dances with my boyfriend Pasha in the best rhyme scheme name duo for a crazy quickstep to "Puttin' on the Ritz." The intro is fun and quirky but transgresses into the usual ballroom stuff that the kids don't vote for. Caitlynn and All Star Ivan (!!!) pair up for a hip hop routine where Caitlynn shows she's got some smooth moves and some great chemistry with Ivan. Jordan and Ade play badasses together in a jazz routine choreographed by Tyce. It's fast and has a lot of lifts and acrobatics. It's very 80s. Tadd dances with reigning SYTYCD champion Lauren Froderman in a jazz heist which involves Tadd borrowing a lot of Michael Jackson's moves. Caitlynn and Tadd do a classic foxtrot, reminiscent of Fred and Ginger and the old days. The costumes are gorgeous but you know no one is voting for this.

Least favorites of the night. Ricky is tasked with the jive alongside Anya. It's like fate keeps giving him the dances to get him eliminated. The dance is really fun and energetic but c'mon, no one ever votes for the jive. Nappytabs comes out of hip hop hiding to choreograph Jess and Lauren Gottlieb. I wanted to love it but I think the choreography is meh and they have no chemistry so it was dull to watch. But upside: no corny faces. Jess and Jordan do a sexy little rumba with no chemistry, but I can't focus on anything but the costume giving Jordan some nasty side rolls.

Result show! The top 8 perform a group contemporary piece dressed like an antique circus or in Jess' case, The Joker as a ringmaster. More surprising: that wonderful pieces is choreographed by Tyco Diorio and it's been so nice seeing him get out of his hokey Broadway box. The bottom 4 this week are Jordan, Caitlynn, Jess, and Tadd. Ok, now Tadd is a shocker cause I thought Ricky was a goner (see above). To fill our time, the Legion of Extraordinary Dancers performs and it's pretty spectacular. I've crapped all over Christopher Scott's routines this season and I think that's because he clearly excels at group choreography, not pairs. Later, guest judge of the week Lady Gaga performs "The Edge of Glory" and "You and I" in a relatively normal outfit: black bustier (like Selena!) with pointy shoulders and a black studded angular skirt. Most importantly, one of Lady Gaga's most prominent backup dancers for years now is Mark Kanemura from season 4. I loved him (and still do)! Enough distractions, let's get the verdict! Jordan and Jess are eliminated this week which means my fantasy team isn't a total bust. Cause let's face it, isn't thsis really all about MY fantasy team?

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