Reality Rundown: The Fast Demise of the Pretty Girl Alliance

In this Reality Rundown...
The Amazing Race • Groomer Has It • Tough Love • I Love Money •
Dancing with the Stars • The Biggest Loser

The Amazing Race - The continent of Asia excursion continues, sending the racers to Guilin, China. The Sibling team is Chinese, so spend the entire episode communicating in Chinese which sometimes works, but other times seems like showing off. However, there's a hilarious moment where they tell a man to help them succeed or their parents "would cry themselves to death." Everyone is pretty even, except the Stuntmen who have the 4 hour penalty and a speed bump (washing ladies' hair) to contend with. At 2 different clue boxes, deaf Luke and Jen get into some physical

altercations, which leads to Jen calling Luke a bitch and Luke signing angrily. The Road Block has one player working with a bird that retrieves fish, and yes, someone does get bit by an evil bird. At the Detour, teams have to write calligraphy or dance. Most teams choose calligraphy; the Cheerleaders dance and get extremely pissed off at the instructors. The 3 teams that did calligraphy all check-in at the Pit Stop at the same time, leading to a meltdown about the today's physical events. One of the sisters sort of laughs when Luke starts getting mad/signing/trying to speak and Margie goes OFF! While the sister says the laughing is a nervous thing in uneasy situations, it does come off like she's laughing at him (watch all the drama unfold above). Both at times were at fault for the physical stuff earlier, but just know, the "s" has hit the fan. Oh, and the Stuntmen go home finally.

Groomer Has It - Yup, I'm covering it again. The annoying, fat girl who knows nothing about grooming wins the Quick Sniff, which allows her and her team member to select which dogs they'll groom this week and which dogs the others will groom. The catch this week is that all of these dogs need to be re-groomed after previous grooming blunders. The zany Chicken Joe washes his Pomeranian, but insists the skin is so bad he couldn't groom it. The fat, annoying girl leaves mats in the dog's muzzle. Some punkish girl gets a Pomerian that had hair dye and was disheveled and she made it so adorable. Kendra from The Girls Next Door is a guest judge because she's a dog lover- yeah, makes no sense. What's fun about this show is it seems the judges don't get along; the vet and the professional groomer seem to butt heads, which is great. In the end, lovable Chicken Joe leaves because he simply didn't groom. (Image from TV.Yahoo.com)

Tough Love - Steve makes the girls participate in a game show called "Cute or Crazy" where he reads facts about the girls and a crowd of guys hold up signs that say cute or crazy. It's all fun and games, except Abiola who is dubbed crazy since she asks her cat for dating advice and has a wedding ring because she married herself. Revealing secrets is Steve's ultimate lesson this week, and the girls do well revealing things about themselves, like previous marriages. Jody gets to meet that dude she has been dating's son, which is huge for her. Taylor does well opening up, and Arianne is only a mild hoe. It's Jessa that's troubling Steve, so much so that he gives her a lie detector test to get some truth! She's pissed and after passing the test tells Steve she just flat out doesn't like him. SERVED! (Image from Blog.VH1.com)

I Love Money - Saapyhri wins Paymaster and all hell breaks loose in Tailor Made's alliance. The 3 girls (Ice, Prancer, Myammee) teamed up to create the Pretty Girl Alliance (barf) and approach Saaphyri to take out TM. Saaphyri sees this as an opportunity to take out Myammee so approaches TM, and to seal the deal, she has him hide while the PGA confesses to wanting him out. SERVED! In the Vault, Myammee throws both Ice and Prancer under the bus and they end up in the box with dead-last-loser It. Injured Prancer cries and vows to take out huge beotch Myammee. Ice is called out for not voting Myammee into the box, even though Myammee voted Ice in- it's game suicide. Ice tries to smooth talk her way out of it, but even Saaphyri knows she'll won't turn on her alliance. At elimination, Saaphyri tells Ice that she vowed "no more dudes in this game" and votes out Ice. SERVED- and I can't stop laughing. (Image from VH1.com)

Dancing with the Stars - The beginning of my broadcast was interrupted because they caught the Craigslist Killer, but it appears this week everyone will be dancing different styles. Gilles Marini does well, but again, isn't as strong when it's ballroom, which is the opposite of Ty Murray who is far better at traditional ballroom. This week there actually aren't any real duds, except the entire group number (a 60s themed hot mess). I can't really predict whose going home, but I suppose I'll guess Ty Murray.

The results show is actually kind of interesting, as 6 new professionals are vying to be on next season. We'll watch 3 pairs dance and vote for one of those people to definitely return next season. This takes up the majority of the hour and in the last 5 minutes, Lawrence Taylor is voted off and couldn't be happier- no seriously, he's like really happy. (Image from ABC.com)

The Biggest Loser - I could talk about all the show in detail, or I can skip to the good stuff. Tara wins the challenge and either gets $10,000 or 1lb advantage at the next weigh-in. Knowing she's a player, I know she'll take the lb, but she takes the cash! I secretly hope she crashes and burns cause that's good TV, but she has a great weight-loss week. Helen and my poor Kristen are both under the yellow line. Kristen approaches Ron to confirm that he'll keep his word: that he'd never write Kristen's name down. Ron promises to keep his word... but that doesn't mean he's keeping her in the game. If a tie is forced, Kristen automatically leaves since she has the lowest weight-loss, so Ron tells this to his son Mike, so that Mike can protect himself. Sure enough, Mike forces the tie and Kristen is out- but not before calling Mike out. She said it's clear Mike already thinks he has won this game and is eliminating his only competition (he doesn't deny this). Screw you brown team! But Kristen, at home, had dropped 132lbs and plans to be under 200lbs for the finale- you go girl! (Images from NBC.com)

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Reality Rundown: One Leg in Bangkok

In this Reality Rundown...

The Amazing Race • New! Groomer Has It • Tough Love •
Dancing With the Stars • I Love Money • The Biggest Loser

The Amazing Race - Off to Bangkok, where the world's your oyster. The Roadblock requires one team member to properly put a propeller on a rod, then they will take this boat to the next clue. What 2 teams fail to consider is that this boat might not return, so 2 teams don't bring their bags with them to the next clue. Now I think this week has the most awesome Detours yet, and this is from someone who has loved several legs. The choices: fit 5 toothless people with the correct dentures or get in a party cab and sing karaoke with Thai Trannies. Both hilarious, but of course I'd go karaoke. Margie and Luke actually do the teeth and take first place. But here's the crazy stuff: the sisters try to check in, but left behind their backpacks and the fannypak with their passports, so they have to retrieve those before they can check in. The tiny brothers also left their backpacks so before they even do the detour, they go all the way back to get their gear. But they don't have much money, so they offer personal items as a bargain ("real expensive, very nice!"). So the brothers check in 4th, however, bargaining with personal items is a huge rule-breaker and worth a 2 hour penalty and they did this twice, so it's a 4 hour penalty! WOW! This is one rule I didn't know. So the sisters return and are safe. BUT, luckily for the little guys, this is a non-elimination leg so they are still in it, but downside is they will start 4 hours later for the penalty and will have to complete a Speedbump on the way. Ouch! These 2 are so dumb I wish they got eliminated, but look forward to them squirming through the next leg. (Original image from BuddyTV.com)

New! Groomer Has It - I admit, I enjoy this dog-pun filled show so I'll cover it occasionally. 12 dog groomers compete for the title Groomer of the Year, which also includes a new car, dog grooming van, and a cash prize (hosted by ex-Queer Eye Culture Gay, Jai Rodriguez). The Quick Sniff challenge has them in teams of 3 grooming a St. Bernard, but the only tools with tools they can get from houses in the neighborhood. The winning team makes their dog adorable and wins fancy dinner, while the others get Doggy Bags. The elimination challenge is to groom standard poodles (a groomer's ideal dog), but instead make them into art pieces. It's a trainwreck, and the losing team chose a Hollywood theme, but really hurt the dog's skin in the process. The guy in charge of the washing/brushing was to blame and "clipped." And sadly, the catchphrase "Every dog has its day, and today is not yours" is gone. (image from Animal Planet)

Tough Love - Tough beotch Stasha leaves the house with her new emo boyfriend that she met one week before the show. Jody's date comes to the house and apologizes for last week, and they kiss and make up. There's a funny lesson about judging guys who wear shirts, including "I have chlamydia" and "I'm impotent" which is great. Even after an early talk with Steve and his Mom, Arianne gets called out for being a slut, again- but Steve says the guy likes her so he'll set up another date. At a party to mingle, Taylor hits it off with a good looking young guy, but ditches him to instead hit on the rich 40-something throwing the party, which later lands her in the hot seat. She insists the older guy was sexy, but clearly the money is what makes him sexy but she won't admit it. The older guy was in fact an actor Steve sent him- haha! SERVED by Steve! (image from Blog.VH1.com)

Dancing with the Stars - I really didn't pay attention to the first 40 minutes, but that's probably a good thing. Tonight they danced either the Jive or the sexy Rumba. As I predicted, Gilles Marini was not as good at the fun, American Jive as he was with the Latin dances. Overall, and mainly based on the blips of dancing they show at the end with the voting numbers, I'd say Lawrence Taylor and Ty Murray were the 2 worst and will be in the bottom, with Lawrence going home.

On the Results Show, the celebrities get to design the costumes for next week. I'm pretty surprised when Lawrence Taylor is safe- so obviously Ty Murray and Steve-O are the bottom 2 and Steve-O goes home. (image from ABC.com)

I Love Money - Loudmouth is the challenge and the contestant who yells the loudest and longest after a few rounds will be Paymaster. Myammee and her lingerie win Paymaster, while 20 Pack is the dead last loser. However, 20 Pack doesn't care because he knows he's safe after the deal he made last week. But Tailor Made's alliance doesn't want to keep that deal, plus Myammee wasn't in the room so doesn't consider herself obligated to keep the deal. But Tailor Made wants to keep it; TM knows that in the end a jury essentially decides final 2 and he doesn't want to burn bridges. I20 Pack and Saaphyri are the frontrunners for eliminations. Saaphyri hates Myammee and is close to It, and 20 Pack is the strongest: so who goes home? When 20 gets called to get his check, he knows he's good but nope. Myamme says she sticks with her alliance and they want him gone. Check BOUNCED! (image from Blog.VH1.com)

The Biggest Loser - Makeovers with Tim Gunn! Everyone looks really sexy afterwards, though a beardless scary-without-a-shirt Ron is a little spooky. Ron's son/Mike's younger brother sees the new skinny family and feels like the odd fatty out- my mom called it the saddest thing she's ever seen on the show ever. With limited workouts this week, everyone prepares for bad numbers on the scale. To make matters worse, Lazy Laura (who has been less lazy lately, and has an amazing new look) has a stress fracture in her hip and can't do any real workouts. Lazy Laura and my girl Kristin fall below the yellow line, and it's a hard choice for the Losers. To me it's unfair for Laura to stay because she won't be able to truly take advantage of the ranch and the trainers anymore, so clearly Kristen should stay (and that's not just because I love me some Kristen). Tara is adamant about sending Laura home, saying she needs the support. Some consider voting off Kristen because she's a bigger threat, even after an amazing speech imploring them to keep her so she can get better- it's not about money, but being healthy for her. Kristen really does need it, so when she gets 2 votes at elimination, I panic. But in the end, Laura goes home and gets the medical help she needs. (images from NBC.com)

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