Reality Rundown: My Very First Codpiece

Sad news Rundown fans: no Survivor this week. I know, I'm extremely depressed as well. This week's Rundown will be somewhat shorter since there's no Survivor and I decided The Chopping Block wasn't worth my time. Enough blabbing, let's get this Rundown started!

In this Reality Rundown...

American Idol • From G's to Gents • America's Next Top Model •
Make Me a Supermodel

American Idol - It's country week and I'm cringing because I dislike country (except Reba!) and usually contestants royally maim the songs. But I was pleasantly surprised this week because they weren't too bad. However, not a single Reba song- total BS! Where's some "Fancy"?? My favorite now, 2 weeks in a row, is Matt Giraud. He did a great job last night and I could see myself listening to his music. Anoop stepped up his game and showed Simon he deserved to be there. Danny Gokey was OK, but he sang Carrie Underwood's "Jesus Take the Wheel" and that song is weird. But of course, there were stumbles. Lil Rounds wasn't great- her chorus was good, best the rest blah. And then the judges say she should've done "I Will Always Love You" which I think is the country week cop-out for R&B singers, so I'm at least glad she didn't go so cliche. Pink hair girl Alexis did "Jolene" and it was bad. The Oil Driller stunk- worst of the night by far and deserves to go home. Blind Guy was boring as usual. Paula told him he should not play the piano because he uses it as a crutch- yet she didn't bring that up with Matt Giraud, who also sits behind a piano and performs; and Simon disagreed with Paula thinking the piano works. Paula needs to word things better, because clearly she meant he needs to connect with the audience but isn't. Here's an idea for Blind Guy: pick songs we know and stop being so dull! He makes such odd picks. But my personal worst of the night was Matt Lambert's complete and utter destruction of Johnny Cash's "Ring of Fire," a personal fave. Simon called it indulgent, and he was so right on. It was this weird goth meets Egyptian sitar meets The Doors rendition and it was absolutely horrible (Paula compared it to Led Zepplin's "Kashmir" and I wonder if she's heard the song, because "Kashmir" sounds nothing like the crap just performed). I really hated it, but I'm sure others loved it- diff'rent strokes. So based on Tuesday's performances, I think Oil Driller should go home, because he's a bad singer and oddly proportioned.

So results show, which I again FF'ed through 92% of it. They let 3 people off the hook quickly and then make the 16 year old and the Oil Driller (my pick to go home) stand up, and Ryan sends 16 year old to the stage, and I get pissed! How can Oil Driller be safe, he was horrible! Not so fast, he's brought down too- phew! And then they dramatically hold off Adam Lambert, who I hated, and Alexis, who had a down night, til the end and I know stupid Adam is safe. When they ask Randy which of those 2 will be in the bottom he says Allison... ummm, her name is Alexis and she looks pretty pissed about Randy not even knowing her name. So for the bottom 3, they send 16 year old back right away (she's Allison), and it's down to Alexis and Oil Drilling Michael Sarver, so clearly Michael is going home. The judges say that between those 2, they would use the save potentially on one of them. WRONG! Michael is safe; I'm livid. But the judges do tell Alexis that she is a contestant they'd considering using the save on (take THAT, Sarver!), so she performs again but it's not good enough and Alexis is gone. Now here's my thing: if a person is getting eliminated, it's because they chose a bad song and stunk the night before, so if they have to re-perform the same song that got them into the bottom to save them, then how will they be helped? They should have a backup song available to help show that they deserve it. Ugh, so Michael Sarver stays and is now part of the Idol tour. Good thing I wouldn't go to that crap or I'd be severely annoyed. (images from BuddyTV.com)

From G's to Gents - The G's learn about business and career goals from reality TV and bar/restaurant empire runner, Mike "Boogie" Malin. As a Big Brother fan, it's good to see him. Fahim seems to be least interested in future goals, citing "gangsta" as past job, and no career aspirations except to be Fahim a "gentle-man." For the task this week, the G's run a photo shoot for rapper E-40, and I hope there is some Santana DVX on the set. Fahim is made team leader which is a no-brainer mistake. While dealing with the models Fahim croses the line and calls them something bleeped (I'm thinking ho's) and that's a big no-no. Mito steps up and takes the leadership role, but the rest of the team doesn't appreciate it. Teddy is the best in the challenge so gets immunity, but crappy boss Fahim gets to hang out with E-40 afterwards and pick one friend... and he picks Lank, because he's funny. Mito's pissed because he thinks Lank didn't do any work, but mostly because he wants to chill with 40. Back at the house, the G's tell Lank they think he did crappy this challenge, but Lank says Mito was being too bossy and that Mito is a fake thug. G-fight! Black Ball ceremony! Lank gets one vote and Mr. Bentley says "one vote is personal" so Lank goes off on Mito- but Mito didn't vote for Lank! It was Blue- hahaha! Mito's box is pretty full, mostly because they think he's already a gentlemen and has a steady life. And Fahim gets the last ball, courtesy of Mito, because he feels Fahim isn't a good representative of the Gentlemen's Club. Fahim's membership gets denied and he lets out one last loud "FAHIM!" Mr. Bentley reminds the G's of why they're here and who they should be voting for: you're supposed to progress and make strides. Next week: survival! (image from MTV.com)

America's Next Top Model - A girl named Nijah is the first person to talk in the episode, so going by the ANTM formula, she'll be going home. Miss J teaches the girls to walk and one girl, Natalie, has modeled before and is way cocky about being the best. The girl with the big eyes is awful and needs a lot of work. So it's no surprise that the next day is a runway challenge for designer Jill Stuart, which leads the girls to think someone will go home then, so they all practice. The show goes well and many take Miss J's lessons to heart- even big eyed girl isn't so bad. Model-it-all Natalie wins the challenge, but is disliked by the girl with the burns (Tahlia), since Natalie in Truth or Dare said Tahlia had the weakest picture last panel. BURN! Oh, bad word use- that seriously was unintentional, but I'm leaving it. The photo shoot this week is to ride on a double decker bus around famous spots in NYC and pose as pairs in character, like Wall Street Brokers, Time Square Tourists, and Nannies. The worst picture is the pair as Muses in SoHo or something like that- and that Nijah girl mentioned above is in it, so do the math. Model-it-all Natalie is the weakest in her trio of Tourists, with Tahlia even better than her (but she still isn't very good). And big eyed girl doesn't do well either. In panel, House Bitch is awarded best picture of the week, and she deserves it as she was finally good. The bottom 2 ends up being Nijah and big-eyed girl, and Nijah goes home- the formula lives on! (image from CWtv.com)

Make Me A Supermodel - Everyone can't stand CJ and her bad attitude, so when everyone has to take group shots, no one wants CJ in their group. The group shots are sports themed and they'll be flying on harnesses. The first group is a total flop since none of them know sports. But other groups do particularly well, especially Amanda, Laury, and Kerryn who have to do rugby, and they think they have the best photo and one of them will win the go-see. Indeed they do win best photo and the best person in the photo is Amanda, who wins a go-see to Bloomingdale's. But Laury is pissed and when probed by the group if they think Amanda had the best picture Laury says (paraphrasing), "Well she was in the best picture, but I don't think she's best in it." ME-OW! What a bitch- someone is this show's new House Bitch. Laury thinks she deserved it, eventhough in her picture her face has a horrible growl look, as mentor Nicole points out. So Amanda goes on the go-see and brings Kerryn with her, and they talk a lot about Amanda being a single mom. Amanda rocks the go see and Bloomie's almost books her, but just thinks she's not ready yet. While at the go-sees, the other contestants put on wigs and costumes for a zany impromptu photo shoot and they realize CJ isn't so bad. Catwalk! They'll be wearing sporty outfits accompanied by this weird wire-ish things, I can't explain. And codpieces for the men! As one guy interviews, "This is my very first codpiece. Got to mark this down on the calendar." At the end of the catwalk they need to pose in an Olympic sport-inspired pose, and this can get pretty funny (girl who pretends to bowl). Jonathan is one of the best, with a good cricket pose but also not being intimidated by the codpiece, but Kerryn wins for her great improvement and pose (tennis maybe?). In the end, the bottom 2 are bad attitude Gabe (who blamed CJ for his bad picture) and Karen (who makes the scariest dead-in-headlights look at the end of the catwalk). They decide to give Gabe one last chance and Karen and those scary eyes are not supermodel material. (image from BuddyTV.com)

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Reality Rundown: There's No Crying in Photoshoots!

In this Reality Rundown...
American Idol • From G's to Gents • The Chopping Block •
America's Next Top Model • Make Me A Supermodel • Survivor

American Idol - Those of you who know me will know that I'm a huge fan of Michael Jackson's music (not his creepy ways, just his fantastic music), so it was bittersweet to find out he was this week's theme on Idol. Good because I can hear Michael songs, bad because it's really bad karaoke versions of it. And speaking of Michael Jackson, please make sure you check out the the Michael Jackson auction listing where he's getting rid of everything- the toys and videogames he has are amazing- not to mention all the life size fake butlers and people. I thought the women were pretty bad all around, except that teen girl who always makes weird mouth movements. The guys were definitely good, especially Adam Lambert (who my dad pointed out looks like Garth Brooks' failed alter ego, Chris Gaines) and Matt Giraud (who I didn't care for previously but really enjoyed this week). I liked Kris Allen and his guitar, however I am pretty convinced after watching in slo-mo that he was fake playing. He was making the chords and strumming, but his fingers sure weren't touching- this could be a potential Serving from me. Jasmine and her amazing mother are back and while she wasn't as depressed looking, she was still fantastic. The bored audience member of the night went to a brunette girl sitting behind Cara the judge, who rolled her eyes, yawned, and was incredibly bored the whole time. The best part of the night was the final contestant's phone number, which was non-sequential because apparently 1-866-IDOLS-13 is a phone sex line. I found this only appropriate since the contestant also performed "Dirty Diana." (images from RedHotJezebel and Riosoriano07)

On the results show we learn of a new twist which allows the judges to veto America's decision one time the entire season if they feel the person deserves a second chance- like a Chris Daughtry incident. Going home tonight are Jasmine (and her mom! Nooooo!) and Jorge. Jorge, I told you when I yelled at the TV that you should've done "I Just Can't Stop Loving You (Spanish Version)" And are they saved by the veto? Of course not. In non-contestant Idol, Kanye "The [Self-Proclaimed] Voice of Our Generation" West performed and so did Kelly Clarkson, who has shunned the show since her original victory. Someone wants to sell albums!! (image from People.com)

From G's to Gents - This week the G's learn about charity, so they are split into teams and have to create a skit to teach kids about two lessons: don't do drugs and don't join gangs. Baron is team captain of the drug skit, and it involves some weird bunny which no one explains in the skit, so the kids don't understand. [You're my Boy!] Blue is the other team captain and his play about gangs is great, and in the Q&A with the kids Blue emotionally explains to the kids that he used to be in a gang and got out because he didn't want his family involved. Blue's team wins, so Blue is safe and gets to save one team member, so he picks Link (or is it Lank?) In another twist, the losing team captain needs to pick someone to not be safe, so he picks Mito who gets pissed. Then Baron calls home and his friend tells him "I have bad news for you, you're having twins"- so he begins to consider going home. While all this is going on, Protege is still a lazy weasel, so it's no surprise that of the 8 balls to give out he has 6. Protege goes home FINALLY and Baron stays another week, realizing he needs this experience to change him and be a better dad and provider. Next week: running a music video shoot for a hip hop legend. (image from MTV.com)

The Chopping Block - I actually saw a screening of The Chopping Block about 6 months ago in a market research testing place in Las Vegas- I got $15 for my opinions which then went right to the roulette table, and then into Planet Hollywood's big ole' bank account. So finally this show is on the air, and it's a bit different than when I first watched. This time it had a much faster pace, wasting no time jumping into the show and barely introducing the couples. In case you don't know the premise, couples are competing to win a restaurant. The host is Marco Pierre White, a world class chef who trained Mario Batali (Molto Mario!) and Gordon Ramsey. 8 pairs are split into 2 teams and will have their own restaurant across the street from each other; one person in each pair is a chef, the other a server. Each week they will be judged by an anonymous food critic dining in the restaurant, and one pair is sent home. I really enjoyed Marco who seemed to be a true chef with good criticism who doesn't sound scripted or rehearsed like a certain British chef he trained. The Black team doesn't fare well, with slow service, cold food, and undercooked chicken. The Red team does decent, except for running out of filet mignon, awful desserts, and some inexperienced servers. The Red team wins, so Black has to send someone home. And for the first episode, it gets vicious! Blame is thrown back and forth between the Brothers and the Mother/Daughter. In the end, it's two comical cousins who go home because they don't want this drama. Fun fact: when I took that market research survey, before the episode aired, they showed pictures and descriptions and asked for first impressions and who you liked best. I chose the cousins. Whoops! (image from NBC.com)

America's Next Top Model - Makeovers! Or in Top Model world, whose hair will they chop off and who goes to a frightening level of blonde? Makeovers can't be normal so of course there's a weird James Bond/spy theme with "Fierce Dossiers" or something like that and I'm really over the word "fierce"- retire it already! I think like 4 girls are made into blondes, and cute little Vo gets her hair cut shorter and now feels butch, or as she describes, "You know Plain Jane? Well I feel like Plain Jane's brother." One annoying girl panics about getting her long locks cut and is a real jerk, but she gets Served by the Jays because her hair is perfect as is. They tell her she needs to be a little more open to these changes in the future. There's some challenge involving hocking Cover Girl mascara (I will add, I use that mascara and it's very good), and then the photoshoot which has the girls in group shots controlling their own light. Some girls really impress, some girls think they are amazing but only mediocre (House Bitch!), and others tank. Nole Marin, who used to be a fabulous judge on the show, returns to guest judge and one girl's photo is so awful he can't stand to look at it- yet, she doesn't land in the bottom 2, which is BS and clearly it's just so Tyra can a point about embracing the makeovers. The bottom 2 are Vo, with her short butch hair that makes her more model-esque but cried at the photoshoot about her hair, and some Spanish girl whose pretty just isn't translating to film. The Spanish girl is eliminated and clearly still doesn't get why they eliminated her since she thinks she should stay because she's prettier than a bunch of the girls... sigh. I couldn't find any good crying pictures, so enjoy some Miss J! (image from CWtv.com)

Make Me A Supermodel - After ANTM I really was looking forward to the real modeling show. First up is a photoshoot where they have to be candy. The two that got Peppermint really rock it, while Sandhurst as gumballs look great. There are some other good ones, and one or two duds who just weren't into it. The winner is the girl who did Peppermint and she goes on a go-see to Miss Sixty, where she also learns the true world of modeling because they say they wouldn't book her because her hips are wide and make her look bad in jeans, plus she's not sexy enough- zing! But that's real modeling, not the sugar coated Tyra crap. Makeovers again! This time by Tabitha from Tabitha's Salon Takeover. I don't usually like Tabitha because she wears an earpiece and is fed lines to say, but this time it was genuine and her being natural. Everyone's makeovers look great, but one blonde CJ gets pissy about her makeover because her hair gets shortened to below the chin a bit and dyed brown. At the catwalk, CJ yawns, rolls her eyes, and looks bored, but she's safe. The androgenous guy goes home because he's just not supermodel worthy. (image from BuddyTV.com)

Survivor - The show's "Previously On" recap really focuses on the secret cross-tribe alliance, so I'm guessing one of those 4 will go home tonight, likely ringleaders Taj or Brendan. Taj and her tribemate Steven find the Immunity Idol and instead of burying it, she asks Steve to hold onto it. DUMB! Taj keeps talking about how she possesses the Idol but she's wrong, Steve has all the power now even if she found it. A reward challenge that involves tugging a rope and spinning other tribemates (I would've sat this one out) sends the winning team on a reward to the Charmin Cafe, filled with pastries, coffee, fresh water, soft Charmin toilet paper, and a working toilet, which is good because with no food, coffee will run through your system like whoa. Brendan from Timbira is sent to Exile and he brings Steven. They talk about the cross-tribe alliance and while Steve is into it, he's also smart and knows to keep this in his back pocket while maintaining other bonds. Timbira isn't stupid and knows that Brendan must be making good bonds with the other tribe and they need to watch out for him. At the immunity challenge, they have to launch balls with a slingshot and their tribemates have to catch them- first to 5 wins. Jalapao takes an early lead cause the hick guy, I forget his name, is amazing- so amazing that he chips his tooth in the challenge and then just tosses the tooth away (Jeff picks it up and returns it). But Timbira's tall skinny giant, Tyson, ends up winning the challenge, so Jalapao is back to Tribal Council. Taj is in a bad mood about losing the challenge ("hot" as she describes), which is funny considering she perfomed so poorly, and her attitude is annoying the tribe. Not to mention, Taj has been in Exile a lot so her team barely knows her- why keep her around? The guys are also leaning towards young Spencer (who we find out is gay, but he doesn't tell his tribe) because they believe he's the weakest and lost the challenge for them. But Taj's ego is killing me- I think she's thinking too far ahead in the game and focusing on the merge rather than surviving right now. Tribal Council comes and unlike Timbira, no one on this tribe seems to think much of Taj and Exile or having the Idol. Taj tells her tribe she doesn't have the Idol (true! Steve has it- you found it). But in the end little Spencer's torch is snuffed and Taj lives to fight another week. Next week: Tyson walks around naked and booty pops. (image from CBS.com)

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Reality Rundown: When in Doubt, Waltz It Out

These posts are getting so long, I'm going to help you out. You can either read the whole thing or just skip to your favorite shows. In this Rundown...

I Love Money • American Idol • From G's to Gents •
America's Next Top Model • Make Me A Supermodel •
Survivor • America's Best Dance Crew

I Love Money - I forgot to post this in the Wednesday post! Craig Jackson officially becomes my 2nd favorite reality host after donning a t-shirt that says, "The Brown Jeff Probst." The new teams compete in a challenge this week which some kind of Gold Digger treasure hunt where they are tethered together (no one knows what "tethered" means, so Craig hilariously has to provide the definition that they'll be tied together). Green team, who I put my support to, lost pretty badly based on bad directions and team work. One issue I had is that there was one clue in all Spanish, but only one person speaks Spanish (Heat), so if it weren't for a lucky guess, the team with no Spanish speaker could've really lost. Gold team wins, with Prancer as the Paymaster and ultimately has to decide who goes home: her BFF Cali, Lingerie-clad Myammee, or worst-public-speaker-Milf. The snake that is Tailor Made starts creating an alliance that could overthrow the "Old Entertainer Alliance." Prancer's team urgers her to send home Cali, who I am not a fan of, but Prancer stands tall and votes off Milf, showing she's her own boss (not to mention Milf couldn't even come up with a good defense to stay). It was an OK episode, but nothing too exciting- meaning there was not enough Saapyhri, Entertainer and Buckwild for my liking. But it looks like the Old Entertainer Alliance could be crumbling fast, since Heat is nuts and untrusting of everyone. (images from Blog.VH1.com)

American Idol - 3 nights of Idol can be overload. By the time you read this, all 3 eps will have aired, but I'm blogging my opinions daily then giving you one big lump of Idol- enjoy! Tuesday the last group of12 finalists performed. They were better than the past 2 weeks, but most were so dull that I can't remember their names. I am routing for Nathaniel the headband kid (because his personality in ridiculous), guy who sang Plain White Tees, and Lil Rounds, who was awesome. The rest, just not memorable. But enough Alicia Keys already- 3 of the 6 girls sang her songs- yaaaaawn. Where's the fun stuff?

Wednesday is the result show. Lil Rounds moves on of course! Then the blind guy who has Garfunkel hair and the Spanish guy who again, I don't know his name make it through. What this season lacks for me are personalities. They can all sing well, but they are all quite dull. But now comes the 8 contestants competing for the remaining 3 wild card spots in Thursday's episode. Shocker, nutjob Tatiana gets picked and that's probably because the show is so boring and despite her annoyance, people remember her. Anoop and the hippie girl get picked which I am glad, as I both hoped they would move on. Some other people move on too but again, they made no impression on me whatsoever. (images from WiredForBooks.org and Jackbook.com)

Wild Card night. I'm watching it in ultra fast forward because I'm bored and much like the past week, bad song choices. I realize when some girl Jasmine sings that her mom is the amazing bitter woman from last week, so I'll pull for her for the mom. The annoyance that is Tatiana sings again. Simon points out that Tatiana sang "Savin' All My Love for You" 3 times and I have one word to say.... SERVED!!!!! You got served Tatiana!!! And even Paula called her out for her sudden development of an accent. Anoop should move in because I support anyone who performs Bobby Brown (even if the vocals were just so-so). Now we just need some Bel Biv Devoe for the post-New Edition trifecta. The end arrives and the last 3 finalists are selected: Jasmine (and her amazing mother!!!), Megan (my hippie girl and she was picked over Tatiana the drama queen who decided to have a mild meltdown), and then the last pick after the break and during the break... MY DVR CUTS. Idol ran over it's alloted hour which of course they'd do that because it's to punish those who don't watch live. Thanks to Google I can provide you the results. Wow, I feel so Seacresty-commercial break-esque. Anyways, some dude Matt gets picked. But wait, there will now be 13 finalists and number 13 is... Anoop! Hooray. The real competition starts next week- maybe they'll get a crash course in song selection before then. (original source image from blogs.pioneerlocal.com)

From G's to Gents - Everyone is over Macho, who cries to the G's that he really needs to be here, doesn't want the money, and would give it up at the end. Yeah right. The 'Gs learn, chivalry. The chivalry instructor kind of reminds me of Kenneth from 30 Rock in terms of looks. My big-word-speaking-DMX-sounding Fahim isn't grasping this stuff and opts for a beer and is drunk for the challenge. For the challenge, there are 2 teams and each team captain is going on a date and his team has to give him guidance; whoever is most chivalrous wins. Watching the G's practice classy dating with polite speaking and waltzing is pretty humorous. After swooning and impressing, All In forgets his date's name but covers well. Teddy has his date second and it's not too great at first- he tries to waltz with her, she gets all sexy so he has to push her off and teach her to waltz. Team Captain Fahim, who is drunk, has his date last and it goes as well as expected. His first impression is to sniff and whispers her she smells like fish (he defends he could have yelled in Fahim-style). Fahim's earpiece isn't working, so he takes it out and goes for it on his own. Macho decides to enter the date since he doesn't trust Fahim and takes charge- and this ruins this team's chance for sure. See you on the carpet, Macho! Teddy's team win because it was a real team effort. At a night out at a club, ugly weasel Protege uses his night at the club to get ladies' numbers- but at home as a girlfriend and fiance. Skeeze! The other G's don't take kindly to this because they know Protege is a fake and weasel and I know I can't stand this goober. Black ball ceremony! Fahim seems like the front-runner to go home since he threatened Protege with violence. Fahim calls Mr. Bentley "Big Ben" and I just hope he doesn't go home because he's quality TV. But with the "3 strikes your out" policy, Macho is finally gone... and cries like a teen girl with a broken heart- or like Jason the Bachelor. He is a sobbing mess and can't breath and it's so awesome that Jimmy Kimmel Live even aired it. Goodbye Macho! Next week: charity! (image from MTV.com)

America's Next Top Model - Cycle 12 begins, and if you flip 12 you get 21 so they go to Vegas for the semi-finals. Make sense? Ok, moving on! Everyone stays at Caesar's Palace and gets to wear cute little togas and walk a runway of clouds (fog machine) and pose like goddesses which I maintain were not actualy Greek goddesses (Goddess of Friendship!) There are definitely some very pretty girls, like some girl Fo who calls herself "Blaxican" and Tyra makes her define it because we really couldn't figure that one out, and this one girl who works at Bergdorf's who I think has a different look and could be a real model (she should've tried out for Make Me A Supermodel- see below). This one girl has huuuuge eyes and an interesting look, but when I see her I do yell "Spook!" London, a street preacher who loves the Phoebe Price headbands, is a dead ringer Silver from the new 90210 (well, not as cute as Silver, but still, twins!) I quickly route for a girl named Alex who is a white girl from the hood whose audition tape basically is just her explaining that she'll "come at a bitch" or something like that- and yes, she's out immediately and my heart breaks. 13 girls are picked to go to New York and still be in the running for ANTM. The house they move into is the same house from Making the Band, and I have fond memories of Dylan, Chopper, and Nes screaming at each other. Immediately, there's the House Bitch (Sandra, but let's call her the more fun name) who refuses to give up her bed and thinks she's the best one there. And this episode alone the "I'm not here to make friends" phrase has been said at least 9 times. At the first challenge, the girls walk a runway show and House Bitch stops about 1/4 of the way down the runway, poses and turns around- she interviews that she was the best. Best mistake maybe. Another girl who has burns all over her stomach and legs cries and complains because she has to wear a lot of clothes. Listen, I give her props for following her dreams and trying to be a role model, but this is where ANTM bothers me. They are no looking for a top model, they are looking for stories. She's not thin or fat, so she doesn't fit into either modeling niches, and let's be honest, most designers would probably pass on a model with a lot of scars. I'm not trying to be rude to this girl, I'm just stating what we know is a reality in the modeling world. Another girl has epilepsy and worries the strobe lights will set her off (and deep down you know the producers want this to happen). Later the girls do a photo shoot where they have to be good girls playing popular kids games like hula hoop, tag, etc. because Tyra needs to make a statement about a social issue of girls growing up fast, because Tyra thinks she's Oprah. No one is outstanding, but a few clunkers are there. In the end it comes down to House Bitch or the girl with epilepsy. Epilepsy girl, who was rather cute and looked like Kherington from So You Think You Can Dance, goes home after not understanding how to work with the camera and House Bitch remains another week to cause house drama. I continue watching Top Model for some reason eventhough it's the same personalities every season, yet loathe it. I think I must be a reality sadist. (image from tv.yahoo.com)

Make Me A Supermodel - Tyson's in, Nikki Taylor's out, and new mentor Nicole Trunfio in. As soon as the show starts, it's already more credible than Top Model. New judges include photographer Perue, fashion designer Catherine Malandrino, supermodel Jenny Shimizu, and model scout Marlon. The winner is represented by New York Model Management and gets a spread in Cosmopolitan (way better than Seventeen, Tyra!) These are beautiful people with some real talent. It's hard to pick favorites because as Zoolander would say, they're all (well most) really ridiculously good looking. I'll pick Sandhurst from Tobago who is a classically trained ballet dancer. First challenge is to pair up and pose in intimate poses in a clear box hanging in the sky. Salome, a Menonite who was raised close to Amish and keeps telling us that, performs the best on the shoot and wins the challenge and get to go on a Go See with a designer. A Go See is like a casting call and really important, which already shows this is the better model show, because they are trying to get everyone some work, not just the winner. The show then gets real and points out that these models' bodies will need improvement, be is losing or gaining weight, and get weighed and measured. Unlike America's Next Top Model which seems to sugarcoat this industry as accepting, this show really points out what a fashion model is. In the weekly tradition of the show, a catwalk challenge is done and then the bottom performers in both the photo shoot and catwalk are up for elimination, but this season they judge's decide rather than the viewers. Ken, some big guy with "classic good looks" but actually I thought he was kinda ugly, is sent home and can't be made into a supermodel. Already this show is 18 times better than Top Model. (image from tv.msn.com)

Survivor - Coach's annoying attitude continues and while he thinks he should be a leader, he'll take the backseat until the other leader gets voted out. Taj tells Stephen about her cross-tribe alliance and he's down with it. The plan this time around would be for Stephen and Sierra to go to Exile... but no one told Sierra the plan. Luckily, when sent to Exile, Sierra takes Taj and learns the plan and this could be a huge power play in the game- especially since Taj now knows where the Immunity Idol is. At Timbira, my favorite player Tyson uses his buff to make a loin cloth which is hilarious. At Jalapao, they get focused on more this week, so clearly they'll be heading to tribal. Old lady Sandy is annoyed and young model Sydney is flirty. So when it comes to Tribal Council, Sandy seems pretty confident she's staying but ala, Blindside! Sandy is gone! So 3 blindsides already this season- pretty awesome. Next week: the secret crosstribe alliance might not be so secret. (image from CBS.com)

America's Best Dance Crew - Finale! This episode was sort of drawn out and boring. The crews performed together for about 45 minutes and then the winner was announced. Quest Crew wins! And they cry! Men crying are having the best week ever. But I'm glad Quest Crew won because they really brought it last week and I'm sure Beat Freaks will get a lot of exposure from this too. Here's to the end of what was probably the best season of ABDC yet! (image from MTV.com)

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Reality Rundown - Alliance? This ain't no Survivor.

Welcome back folks! The Reality Rundown is already a hit- so much so that the posts are getting longer SO the Reality Rundown will now be 2 posts per week so that it doesn't overwhelm you with one post of pure awesomeness. So let's keep the ball (or Amazing Race cheese wheel) rolling and start with the first half of the week!

The Amazing Race - Off to Germany the racers go! The Roadblock makes one team member paraglide- but they have to wait until weather conditions are perfect or they can opt for a 60 minute walk down the mountain. All teams but one opted to run. One contestant waited, Mel with the injured groin, but eventually flies down- and comes in second place! During the Roadblock, the woman on what we'll call the "Hick Team" didn't follow the route markers and ended up on the other side of the mountain. I understand the pressure of the race, but I'd like to think I'd be smart enough in that situation to read the directions correctly and follow the arrows. If you loved the Cheese Wheels of last week, you'll enjoy this week's Detour: Slam cakes in each others' faces (watch now!) or ride a Segway scooter through an obstacle course. This would be a tough call for me, as both are things I'd love to do, but I think I would've opted for the cakes because it reminds me of my dream to be on a Nickelodeon game show. In the end the Hicks go home (no shock there), the brother and sister team win this leg (and hybrid go-karts!). This season has already been more enjoyable than the last one!

I Love Money - This week is the "ass-kissing challenge" because besides the hookups, Ithis show is all about butt-kissing. Buckwild and Milf throw the challenge, leaving just T-Weed kissing Myammee's butt. Sometimes to take out a big player, you need to take risks- even if it's obvious. The Gold team comes down to Frenchie kissing Prancer's behind, and since we all know Frenchie's stripping and porn past, I am putting all my chips on Gold winning. T-Weed eventually collapses (in a safe way) and Green loses. Then they blame him for the loss. What? He lasted longer than the others, even if the others threw it. He is thrown into the box with Milf and Buckwild. At the Power Outing, a T-Weed/Entertainer alliance starts brewing to take out Buddha. At Elimination, Buckwild gets a check first and kisses Frank- future power-couple? Next called down... T-Weed. The Entertainer tells T-Weed that he begged him to not pick Buddha for his team but he didn't listen, and now they can't get rid of Buddha and because of this, T-Weed goes home. The end. Wait, NO! Craig has a twist! All the men need to write the name of the most loyal man, and the same for the women. Sapphyri and 20 Pack easily win, and these 2 people will be the new team captains. Time to pick new teams! But one person will not get picked and go home. They go down the line and pick and the final 2 are Ice and Buddha. The Gold Team has the last pick and they say they need a strong man- so they pick ICE! Buddha got SERVED!!! I'm so glad Buddha is gone because his arrogance was so annoying. I'm moving my support to the Green team because I love Saaphyri and the Entertainer and think they stand a chance to take the final prize. Next week- team chaos... again!

The Bachelor - The Women Tell All special aired, and it was. kind of boring. Host Chris Harrison interviews Jason, which was really Chris trying to find out if Jason slept with anyone. We find out Jason sent home Jillian because he saw her only as a best friend. Chris pointed out that last week's makeout session with Jason and Jillian made Cinemax call and say it was too much- ha. Jillian is interviewed and still seems a little depressed but would be open to this experience again. New Bachelorette?? There were also a lot of bloopers that I fast forwarded through. Universally hated Natalie claimed she's not superficial, saying she had a hard time doing the show because she couldn't use her Blackberry, iPod, etc. To which Chris says, "You mean superficial things?" We always make fun of Chris because he doesn't do much during the season besides talk a bit to the Bachelor about where his head's at and come out at the end of the rose ceremony to say "This is your final rose," but he shows he's a pretty good host during these reunion specials. They also explored Bachelors and Bachelorettes of the past, which is what I found most interesting. Trista and Ryan, the show's only success story, are happy in Vail with one kid and another on the way and doing Skecher's ads (not mentioned on show). Charlie O'Connell and the girl he picked his season dated for 2 years, broke up, then are back together and happy. But most entertaining was the fact that ex-Bachelors and Bachelorettes all party with each other and hook up all the time. So ladies and gents, if you're going on The Bachelor(ette), don't necessarily go for whoever is running that season. Get eliminated, then start dating other ex-contestants. Next week: the most shocking rose ceremony and After the Rose special EVER! But if reports are right, for once, they aren't exaggerating.

From G's to Gents - This is an episode I've been excited for: a rap battle with proper grammar and no cussing. The G's are split into two teams will have to head-to-head battle on a topic, best of 5. The guys are all pretty good, except for A-Felon, who allegedly is a rapper yet tanked because Macho stuck his tongue out at him, and JoJo who gets on stage completely wasted and swears (automatic disqualification). Based on some eloquent freestyle from resident white guy Lank, his team wins. For some reason, everyone starts to question Macho's sexuality (the tongue thing?), which of course leads to more drama. Macho goes to see Mr. Bentley to complain about what happened, so then Mr. Bentley brings in A-Felon and AD. Seriously, sticking out someone's tongue to me is a cop-out for A-Felon choking and being a wack rapper. I tried to pay attention to the solo talks but I noticed a giant bottle of champagne in Mr. Bentley's study which makes me chuck and remember an episode of How I Met Your Mother. Quote of the week from Mr. Bentley: "Alliance? This Ain't no Survivor." Great quote, but also, kind of funny since this whole week was about proper grammar and not using the word "ain't." JoJo is immediately eliminated for being drunk in public and being a bad representative for the club. A-Felon runs his mouth about Macho having no respect amongst his peers, then Macho is deemed safe. And after what was monologued as hateful, disrespectful, and more adjectives behavior involved between the AD, A-Felon, and Macho, Mr. Bentley sends them BOTH home! 3 G's out of the door. Next week's episode: chivalry! And dating!

The Biggest Loser - I was a such multi-tasker in tonight's episode because while I watch I did 30 minutes of Wii Fit Free Step (it keeps time in the remote control!) It was like an interactive experience- you exercise with the contestants and trainers! The contestants arrive to a muddy challenge, but also arrive to Blue and Black jerseys- time to split into teams. Whoever wins the Pop Challenge will remain with their partner and their trainer; last place will automatically switch trainers. Everyone else's fate will be decided by a coin toss. The teams are switched. With this twist of fate, Jillian now has most of the strong players and Bob has the underdogs. Usually Bob has what I'd call the "jocks" but now he's more like Jillian, so it's new for him. I was also routing for a Bob victory this season, but he has a 2 contestants that I just can't stand. Upon seeing the new teams, Jillian isn't too surprised and is sympathetic, but sees a benefit from being able to learn 2 different exercise methods. When Bob sees his new team, well he's pretty livid (he keeps himself composed for the most part). Because this is a show, they have to have these twists to amp up the drama. However, the emotional stress I think can throw off the players and isn't the whole point of this to lose as much weight as you can? But everyone sort of realizes they have to move on and exercise. The teams then need to ride as many miles as possible in 24 HOUR for a 3lb advantage (and bikes!). Black wisely develops a strategy of each person riding 30 minutes, then getting a 2 1/2 hour break. The Blue team rides as they please? Black wins with 301 miles completed and both teams satisfied that they didn't quit. The episode ends and to be continued on Wednesday. But sadder for you is the conclusion to this Biggest Loser recap won't come until Friday. Sorry kiddies!

So as mentioned, the Reality Rundown will be 2 parts since I'm becoming quite verbose! Come back at the end of the week for the conclusion to The Biggest Loser, more Idol coverage, and of course- Survivor!

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Reality Rundown: Blindsides and Bad Eliminations

Welcome to what I hope will be a recurring post, my reality rundown. As you all know, I watch an extraordinary amount of TV and a large chunk of that is still reality. From the good to horrible, I seem to dabble in it all. So here's some thoughts on all the delightful reality I watched this week.

The Amazing Race - Welcome back Amazing Race! Apparently the logo was updated, but I didn't notice. I did notice the jazzier theme song. I still love the Amazing Race, but it has become a bit stale. It's the same partners every year, which is why I hope this season brings something a bit more. I love the brothers who are both stunt doubles, and the mother and deaf son are interesting, and a gay father and son make an interesting grouping. And luckily, the bickering dating couple, who down the line would become insufferable, went home first! The teams went to Switzerland and hilarious had to haul 50lb cheese wheels down a hill. I think my strategy would've been to let the cheese roll down the hill intentionally and then chased after them. What's great this season is Phil Keoghan, the host, is blogging about the show for Entertainment Weekly- I highly recommend. All the TV show host blogs are really insightful about the contestants, show, process, etc.

The Bachelor - This week was fantasy suite dates which is always a great week for the women to feel degraded on television (more specifically, the girl who gets sent home that week). Every week I watch this show, I grow to dislike the Bachelor, Jason, even more- he gets uglier and skeezier each week. And after a semi-pornographic make-out session with Jillian, aka Hot Dog Girl, he cuts her! And now that news has leaked about the "most shocking ending" to the Bachelor ever, I can confirm Jason seems more like a loser jerk than ever. I won't spoil, but it is kind of shocking and once the After the Final Rose airs, I think I can air my grievances, Festivus-style, against Jason.

I Love Money 2 - How I love this trashy program. I can not get enough Buckwild and Saaphyri, the best reality show BFFs out there. Who I don't want anymore is Leilene and Buddha- good news is, whiny Leilene went home. Leilene, a known crybaby on these shows, was there for love. Has she watched these shows? There is no love on VH1! Unless love can be cured with a little penicillin of course. Now if only they could get rid of the arrogant Buddha- he really just uses the women to get ahead and it's sick. Here's hoping Frank the Entertainer wins it all and gets out of his parents basement. And Heat- just go away. You can tell when someone is really hamming it up for the cameras, and Heat is just a famewhore.

American Idol - Finally it is the Top 36 which means everyone at this point can sing! Wait, no. What an awful episode of poor singing and crummy talent. I'm glad I DVR the show because a 2 hour episode of Idol can be completed in 20 minutes. Fast forward through half the song, skip the boring talk with the parents/family (time wasting!) Just a little bit of singing and the judges- it makes the watching of the show so much more tolerable, because clearly this could have been an hour and a half, but instead it was dragged to two hours. My choices to move on were Pink Haired Girl, Dead Wife Guy, and Anoop. Anoop was instead replaced with the Oil Driller or something. I knew the third pick would be a "personality" pick, I'm just surprised they picked such a dull one- I'm on your team Anoop! I am just glad Tatiana is gone for now because that girl is nuts- legitimately. I wouldn't be shocked if she made suicide threats last night after being eliminated. She didn't do a loud flip out when she was cut, rather one of those passive-aggressive shove-aways. I'm sure she'll get picked as a Wild Card for drama sake.

The Biggest Loser - What's crazy about this season compared to the past 2 seasons I watched is that for once, I am routing against every person on Jillian's team. Usually Jillian has the lovable underdogs- this season, they are whining, annoying, and just plain uninteresting. I could only tell you the name of one person on Jillian's team (loudmouth Aubrey in yellow). I am all for any of Bob's teams taking it all... except the Brown Team. Every week the NBC promos hype the "youngest contestant ever" and how "America's fallen in love" with him. Really?? Cause I sure haven't and until this past week, I couldn't even tell you the kids name. For the first 3 or 4 weeks they never even focused on this team. Next week the pairs are split into teams, the infamous black and blue. I think poor Bob is going to get stuck with a bunch of Jillian's a-holes. And please remind me that I need to try my Bob Harper's Yoga Blast DVD this weekend.

From G's to Gents - Of course I watch this! Fonzworth Bentley is as dapper as ever, and the G's as G-riffic. Luckily tonight eliminated Riff Raff who was maybe the spookiest looking person I've ever watched on television - and I watched Sister Patterson on I Love New York. Riff Raff didn't seem to want to change, he just wanted the money. This season has a lot more G's who want to change for the better.I'm routing for Blue, who is homeless and gave up his bed in a shelter for this. But I hope Faheem stays around for awhile because I do a really good impression of him.

Top Chef - Crazy Carla - clap clap clap clap clap! That has been my anthem since day one. I loved Carla's kooky personality and her Hootie-Hoo's, but I never thought she'd make it to the final 3. I hope Carla takes it all because, compared to the other cheftestants, her food is the only one I'd want to eat. Her food always looks so hearty and delicious- something the other contestants lack. And poor Fabio went home. Granted, his cooking actually has been weak quite often, but he had the best personality. I mostly wanted Stefan gone because I am tired of the contrived Stefan vs. Hosea rivalry (which seems more one-sided- get over it Hosea!) I'm really excited for next week's finale and hope that when the cheftestants cook their 3 best dishes that they can really bring it.

Survivor - Another blindside! That's two in a row for those counting- and the show has only been on two weeks! Coach, whose intitial strategy was to eliminate the weak, only caved in after six days and decided to get rid of someone he found annoying, yet was physically strong. During the first five minutes of the show a CBS local news bulletin scrolled the bottom of the screen, removing the high definition transmission temporarily. It's not until they go back and forth between standard and HD that you realize how phenomenal Survivor looks now that it's shot in HD. It really is breathtaking. And Taj, the lady from SWV (Sisters with Voices!) who is married to a Heisman winner really should've thought out a better story about her husband, rather than flat out say who he was. While Survivor is about being out in the wild and surviving, money is a huge factor for most. Sadly, her target got a lot bigger way to early; if only she could've kept in a secret longer than six days.

America's Best Dance Crew - First off, I need to express a gripe I have about this week. The theme this week on ABDC was Boys Vs. Girls. The first crew danced to a Chris Brown song and the last group danced to a Rihanna song. I find this extremely poor timing and in bad taste. This show is filmed live and recent, it's not like it's from three months ago. Someone at the show or MTV should have expressed how low this was. No, back to the show.It's down to the final four squads, three of which are great. For some reason, Fly Khicks are still around, despite America not voting for them three weeks in a row. I just find their routines predictable and unoriginal. What pushed me over the edge of dislike was a few episodes ago where they performed with a wind machine. Really?? If you don't want to be perceived as the "sexy ladies" crew, then stop with the wind machine and booty-poppin'. The crew sent home this week was Strikers All Stars, which was disappointing as they were strong competitors all season but had a down night. Clearly the final two will be Quest Crew and Beat Freaks. I'd be perfectly happy with either crew winning because they have both been consistently excellent, but I'm leaning towards Beat Freaks to win, especially after last week's performance that infused magic. But Dominic and Hok, I still love you- you know I'm a loyal So You Think You Can Dance fan!

Well my friends, that was indeed a long post of the Reality Rundown. See you next week to talk more, including why I still can't stand Jason from The Bachelor, who makes the ABDC Finals, and who gets pitchy on this week's Idol.

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