Showing posts with label make me a supermodel. Show all posts
Showing posts with label make me a supermodel. Show all posts

June 5, 2009

Reality Rundown: Fun-ness of my Eyes

In this Reality Rundown...
The Bachelorette • So You Think You Can Dance •
Make Me A Supermodel • The Fashion Show

The Bachelorette - 3 dates again this week, with 1 group date and 2 solo dates- and host Chris Harrison reminds the solo date guys that if they don't get a rose on that date, they go home. Jillian is kind of a softie though and no guys expect that to happen- foreshadowing! Date #1 is with Ed! In case you forgot, he is my pick to go far (and my wonderful former roommate Casey's- Hi Casey!) They go repelling off some huge LA skyscraper and make out a lot, and yes he gets a rose. Date #2 is with 11 dudes, and I think Jillian kissed like 7 of them, but alas, they were "screen kisses" since they film a Western with such awkward dialogue that it bordered on porn (plus it included a Brokeback scene for 2 suitors). Young, cute bartender Robbie gets the rose because when Jillian kissed him it was for realsies. Date #3 is with Sasha and they go to a car museum and drive a Ferrari, but since Sasha wants someone too perfect he is denied a rose- SERVED! Back at the house, motives are questioned, especially with Wes and his stupid 1 song, but Jillian is still falling for it- oh-vey. My favorite psycho, David, did not get a date, so he uses this time to bash Juan and probably get wasted on scotch and soda. He is Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde and I love it. So lots of house drama, Jillian made out with a bunch of dudes, and in the end got rid of 2 nerdish dudes whose names I don't know- oh and one that screen kissed Jillian and was dubbed by foot fetish guy, "the most awkward kiss I've seen since 1988." Next week: crazy David just might get SERVED! (Original image from ABC.com)

So You Think You Can Dance - Vegas baby, Vegas! All the talented dancers come to out the Planet Hollywood (a casino I have given much money to via the roulette tables) to prove they have what it takes to make the Top 20 (10 guys, 10 girls). Dancers will do choreography in several styles and are cut if they just making the grade. Gabby, who put on an amazing solo in the auditions, tanks at choreography in both hip-hop and contemporary (her own style); the judges let her "dance for her life" (a solo that proves you have what it takes) and she lives another day, but is luckily cut in the end. Sorry, but if you can't pick up choreography, especially in your own style, then you have to get cut. Natalie, a ginger that was a sho-in for the Top 20, is cut after a bad jazz number and it makes everyone uneasy. Brandon, who has tried out I think 4 times (and Casey's favorite- hi again!) isn't wowing the judges, but he is able to last and vie for a spot in the final round. Night 1 ends up the remaining 40 performing their last solo and now the judges will decide who they think can dance. (Image from BuddyTV)

On night 2 the Top 20 are announced, and I'm really pleased with the picks. We have some great ballroom women, strong contemporary dancers (including Brandon), one of the throwback to Gene Kelly brothers, hip hop dancers and popper Phillip Chbeeb. My only disappointment was this amazing Asian ballet dancer, who is apparently under contract with the Miami Ballet, was unable to get out of his contract and therefore can't be part of the 20. Fingers crossed he is out by the fall season. Can't wait for next week when the real dancing begins!

Make Me A Supermodel - Finale finally! First off, a photoshoot using this Kodak camera where only 5 exist and they'll take 3 photos- a closeup, a full body, and a group shot. After this, the dudes head to Cosmo to take photos. Branden does best, while Jonathan is losing his sizzle. The guys say it's a close race, well, not Sandhurst; he thinks he has it in the bag. The final catwalk has the guys wearing these goofy outfits, god knows what they are, and then sleek suits by Ben Sherman. Jonathan has a flawless catwalk, Branden brought it, and Sandhurst was good in the 1st walk. Sullivan family "Who will win poll?": Dad- Sandhurst, Me/Mom- Branden (underdog takes it all). Plus, girl's model mentor Nikki says she'd give Branden her number for a date if he won, so c'mon, hook a kid up. Jonathan is first cut, and it's a Sandhurst/Branden battle and I wonder who will be victorious in the Sullivan poll. Tyson holds the last contestant's portfolio and says... "Branden, we can make you a supermodel." Hooray! This kid has really improved and I think could be huge. Plus, they all get work after this. And besides, Jonathan won the fan favorite $10k and has a (2)exist campaign. (Image from BuddyTV)

The Fashion Show - The Harper's Bazaar mini challenge is to sketch host Kelly Rowland's dress from memory, which Daniella wins and gets a huge prize: she gets to put someone in the bottom for elimination this week. The challenge is to design for, gasp!, normal sized women. The designers all panic at the thought of dressing the commonfolk, except for hilarious Reco and boring Keith. Keith makes what ends up being a 14 year old girl's first prom dress, Reco makes a stylish ensemble, Daniella has a hard client but makes her look so good, and Merlin is of course a hot mess. Daniella wins again, getting best design of the week (I was pulling for Reco's look), and she puts Angel in the bottom 2 for a sloppy, unflattering dress. I am sooo hoping Merlin goes because the design was hideous and didn't help flatter his model's figure (and he's extremely annoying), but it's Keith and his poorly fitted, unflattering dress that are put on a hanger and sent out the door. (Image from Reality Wanted)

May 29, 2009

Reality Rundown: The return of SEX!

In this Reality Rundown...

The Bachelorette - Jillian will go on 3 dates this week, 2 group and 1 solo, and give a rose out on each date and those 3 dudes will move into the mansion with her until next elimination. Oh and a few guys won't get a date at all, which kinda blows and seems unfair. Date 1 starts as a pool party and ends up a Mini Cooper infested scavenger hunt, ending in a date for one of them. Jillian picks Wes and gives him a rose and I hate this guy. He is obviously there to be discovered for his [crappy] music and not for love, but she falls for his skeezy ways. Jillian takes pilot Jake (who I liked last week) on the solo date, where he quickly swoops in for the kiss, and then Martina McBride performs and he gets a rose. Date 3 is an innocent game of pickup basketball- against the Harlem Globetrotters! Some guy gets a rose because after the game he ran into the ocean in a Speedo. I've decided my favorite suitor is Dave, who always seem one notch away from some sort of violence. Suitor Juan pretended to take a shot of whiskey, and this fakeness sent Dave into a fit of rage! At elimination, guys without dates try to make an impression, Wes makes a douche move and cuts in guys, some dude exposes himself, and the men fail to get Juan sent home. And Jillian sends home a bunch of dudes I don't know (and the streaker). All and all a good episode, but I worry Wes and Juan will be torturing me on this show a long time. (Image from ABC.com)

So You Think You Can Dance - 2 nights of SYTCD this week. Night 1 auditions are in Miami and Memphis. The guest judges this week are Broadway/Jazz/Contemporary choreographer Tyce Diorio (who is so over the dud dancers) and Lil C, a choreography famous for his amazing krumping (rent Rize- it's spectacular). Some great dancers on Wednesday include a few tappers, a traditional African dancer, talented twins, returning semi-finalists from last year, and an underground style called Memphis Jukin. But a few duds manage to get into the mix including terrible twins and a ginger with long dreads essentially rave dancing. The dancers heading to Vegas are a great bunch, and I think this could be one of the toughest Top 20 decisions yet. (Image from Reality Wanted)

Night 2, or as teased in Wednesday's preview, the return of SEX! But not until the end. The cities of night 2 are Los Angeles and Seattle, with Hairspray director/choreographer Adam Shankman and the SYTYCD choreography messiah Mia Michaels
as the 3rd chairs. Los Angeles has some amazing talent, which makes sense since people who move to LA are trying to pursue a career in dance. Seattle however stinks. Only 12 people from Seattle advanced, and none got an automatic ticket to Vegas. Now onto the greatest part ever: SEX. First, this guy who calls himself "Wise Leo" dances and it's this weird hopping/clubbing thing; Mia says she'd love to see a dance off between Leo and Sex. And it's as amazing as you'd think- and the winner is LEO. Poor Sex- and for once, Nigel voted for him. And after 5 years of trying out, Nigel agrees to let Sex participate in the choreography round to give him a reality check. Sex stinks, but of course, he'll be back next year.

Make Me A Supermodel - Final 4 and it's only taken what, 8 years to get here? The photoshoot is for the models to pose with a huge pyrotechnic background, but they only get one shot to do it. Jonathan plays in safe, Brendan ignores direction, Mountaha stands still, and Sandhurst goes crazy. In other fun, they get a shopping spree at Bloomingdales and get to visit New York Model Management, their possible future employer. The catwalk challenge will have the guys as 007 spies while the remaining woman will be- well I don't really know, but she is a wearing a dress by judge Catherine Malandrino. Jonathan really channels James Craig, Sandhurst is average and the photo saves him, Brendan has a much improved walk but a bad pictures, and Mountaha is stiff and Catherine doesn't like the way her dress looked- ouch, served! The bottom 2 fighting for the last spot in the finals are Mountaha and Brendan and as much as I love little Brendan (the last American too), I think his time might be up. But no! Mountaha is handed her book and sent home and she's pretty shocked. I'm shocked too, but hey, after this you'll all be working models, you just won't have the $100k prize. Next week: FINALLY, I mean finale. (Image from BuddyTV)

The Fashion Show - Teams are out, individuals in, so now the show might me slightly more like Project Runway as they don't have to make a cohesive line. Their first challenge as individuals: design an outfit inspired by a pair of shoes. Luckily, they are selecting shoes at Bergdorf's so there are no frightening Crocs to choose. The underwear designer guy again seems to be stealing ideas from other designers, Reco is overconfident (but I love him!), and a girl who got assigned a pair of shoes rocks it. The top 3 made some amazing outfits, but it's Rico and his take on a little black dress that wins. The bottom 2 are underwear guy and this other woman who made the bridesmaid dress from hell. It comes down to choosing between creative but poorly executed or boring but completed. Thankfully, the creative wins and underwear man can go back to thongs and briefs and stop being a copycat. (Original image from Celia Loves)

May 22, 2009

Reality Rundown: I Don't Need my Coat to be a Refridgerator

In this Reality Rundown...
American Idol • Make Me A Supermodel •
New! So You Think You Can Dance • The Fashion Show

American Idol - Finale! Kris and Adam will perform 3 songs: favorite of the season, a song picked by producer Simon Fuller, and the winner's 1st single which was co-written by judge Kara (and 90's pop sensation Cathy Dennis!!) For Round 1, Kris did best with "Sittin' on the Dock of the Bay." Round 2 goes to Adam who got assigned some Same Cooke song. Round 3... sucked. The single is so corny, so cheesy. Past seasons have been far worse, but this song is capital L-A-M-E. And since it seems they weren't allowed to play around with the arrangement, this is definitely not an Adam song, while Kris did OK. This would've been a good Gokey song- horribly lame and wannabe inspirational. It's hard to predict who will win, but I think the wholesome cuteness of Kris Allen will gain him the former Gokey voters for the win. I don't have a preference who wins as I would listen to both. Kris is someone whose CD I could listen to relaxing or commuting, but I'd play Adam Lambert in my car to scream along with. (Image from FoxNews.com)

On the results show, lots of musicians perform with the contestants (Cyndi Lauper and Allison, Hokey Gokey and Lionel Richie, etc.), Bikini Girl returns with new boobies and gets SERVED by a singing judge Kara in her bikini, Kris Allen sings with Keith Urban, Adam Lambert rocks out with KISS (Gene Simmons has even offered Adam a spot on the KISS tour). The best part is the performance of "We Are the Champions" by both Kris and Adam AND Queen- awesome. Onto the winner. The new American Idol is.. Kris Allen! And the reveal isn't that exciting, but I did call it. Afterwards I wondered if I would have been more excited if Adam won, but I think I'm leaning more towards the fact I was totally indifferent to the season/winner. Who's not indifferent? Simon- he thinks the wrong person won. In the end, as long as it wasn't Danny Gokey I'm satisfied. (Image from MTV.com)

Make Me a Supermodel - Photoshoot: look hot in bathing suits in the freezing weather, while holding dead fish. Sexy! Salome wins best photo again, even with a bad swimsuit body, which drives everyone mental. On the catwalk, the models will wear 2 looks by designers, The Blonds, which will be a Glam & Goth look. Yes, the guys get to wear corsets! And blond wigs! Mountaha is fantastic, Branden improves quite a bit, but Jonathan wins best of the week. Not having a good week: Sandhurst. Bad runway, awful photo- things are looking bleak. But the judges are over Salome's bad body and poor catwalk performances and she's sent back to the Menonite ways. (Original image from BuddyTV)

New! So You Think You Can Dance - My favorite show returns! I am a huge SYTYCD fan, so I have been waiting for this summer series for quite a long time. It's hard to recap auditions, but I'll try to give some scoop. The first auditions are in New York City, with judges Nigel, Mary Murphy, and choreographers Napoleon and Tabatha (aka NapTab), where we see amazing contemporary, outstanding ballroom, a new dancing style called Mutation, and hardly any losers, which is why I love this show. Unlike Idol which loves to showcase morons, SYTYCD is about talent! The second half of auditions this week are in Denver, with new choreographer Sonja replacing NapTab as the judge. Sonja is just blown away with the auditions and you can see the wheels spinning of what she could do with these dancers (they are not blown away by 2 guys who dance ballroom together). 2 dancers who made it to the final audition rounds in Vegas last year return and are 2 of the most exquisite dancers. If they don't make it this year, it would be shocking. Like I said, it's hard to cover, but you've got to watch this amazing show. Even my grandparents watch it weekly! (Image from BuddyTV)

The Fashion Show - So apparently a lot of designers on this show can't sew, which is again baffling then how they made it in fashion. I didn't go to design school, but wouldn't you have to assemble your own clothing for classes, etc? This week the teams will make 4 coats, one for each season, but the coats also need to do something extra. Something extra seems to mostly translate into storage, but there are some real standouts. One winter coat transforms into a sleeping bag, while another winter ensemble has a pull out blanket on the back (Snuggie-esque) and can hold a warm canteen. The underwear designer sort of stinks with ideas, so young Daniella gives him a bunch of suggestions and gets rightfully pissed when he wins best design. Clunkers of the week: one oddly shaped coat that is supposed to hold your hairspray and mirror and a coat that is poorly constructed, but has a cool neckpiece to carry your jewelry. Markus, who can't seem to sew for the life of him despite his amazing creativity, is given the boot. This is a message to any young kid who dreams of being on a fashion reality show: LEARN TO SEW FIRST. (Image from Reality Wanted)

May 15, 2009

Reality Rundown: It's one of those "Finally they're gone!" Weeks

In this Reality Rundown
American Idol • America's Next Top Model •
Make Me A Supermodel • Survivor • The Fashion Show

American Idol - Final 3: contestants will perform one song selected by the judges, and a 2nd song of their choice. Paula chooses Terrence Trent Darby (WTF?!) for Hokey Gokey, and then his choice is "You Are So Beautiful." ZZZZZ- fast forward. Kris Allen gets "Apologize" by One Republic from Randy & Kara, and then does a mind blowingly great version of "Heartless" by Kanye West. Adam Lambert gets U2's "One" courtesy of Simon, and then wails another hit with "Cryin'" by Aerosmith. I think Adam is a given for the finals, but the other is a toss up. Kris got sorta bad reviews for his judge's choice song, but song 2 was so amazing. And I am just completely biased with my dislike of Gokey, so pleeeease let Kris go to the finals. Also, we don't want Paula's early season prediction of Gokey & Lambert to come true, because then it might make Paula credible. (Original image from MSNBC)

Results show: Oh fingers crossed to make the final 2 prediction I made a few weeks ago come true! Jordin Sparks looks great and sings awesome, some kid from Rwanda sings R Kelly's "I'm the World's Greatest," and I fast fastforward through about 55 minutes worth of Idol. Time for the final 2! The first person who makes it is... KRIS ALLEN! Woo! So it's a battle between Gokey and Lambert, and I get nervous. But my dream come true- Gokey is out- finally! Lambert/Allen final 2- and only 1 million votes separated them this week. So while I thought Adam was a sho-in to win, this could be anyone's ballgame (especially if Hokey Gokey lovers vote for the next closest clean cut contestant). We'll see! (Image from MSNBC)

America's Next Top Model - Finale! The final 3 do a Covergirl commercial for some new lip stain and Aminant is the best, Allison ok, Teyona stinks. They also do a photo where Allison's amazing, Teyona's very good, and Aminant stinks. At panel, they decide to send home Aminant, which means my family's theory about "fierceness" in the group photo is shot. So Allison and Teyona immediately head off to a cover trial shoot for Seventeen magazine, you know, the epitome of high fashion. The final runway show is for designer Rosa Cha, and they wear swimsuits and do some "Brazilian stomp" walk and also dragging around on the walk with mud or something. It's weird, but Allison far exceeds expectations, and Teyona is just ok. While at panel it seems like the judges prefer Allison, you can see who Tyra wants to win, constantly pointing out Teyona's pros and how she wants it more. Teyona wins (shocker) because "one girl has something just a little more than the other." But it's better to lose ANTM because the winner does nothing except Covergirl commercials that only air during ANTM and get a spread wearing Forever 21 clothes in a crummy teen mag. Top Model, I think it's time I quit you. (Image from CWtv.com)

Make Me a Supermodel - The photoshoot this week is for a clothing line from producer Dallas Austin, and all I can associate this man with is "producing" Kim Zolciak's "album" on The Real Housewives of Atlanta. All the models will pose in groups, etc. and 6 photos will be chosen for the campaign; you could be in all 6 photos or none. While Brandon seems like the weakest, it's Jonathan who only has 1 photo in the pack, and it's a group photo with his eyes shut. The catwalk this week has them in trippy rave clothes and HEELYS. Yes, the bane of my existence- seeing a kid fly by me in a Target with Heelys always makes me leap about 3ft in the air. Anyways, Jordan stunk in the Heelys, Jonathan is too modely, and Salome gives me look. Shockingly Jordan, who seemed like a contender for the finals, can't be made into a supermodel. (Image from BuddyTV)

Survivor - Coach doesn't want to go to Exile because suddenly he has asthma, back problems, etc. but JT sends the Dragon Slayer to face the harsh wilds of Brazil. Coach declares in front of everyone (and Jeff) that Exile will be more of a cleansing, where he won't eat, drink, or have a fire- which sounds more like someone who has learned no skills while being out here. Erinn calls Coach out for his complaining, which doesn't sit well with JT and Stephen, wondering if they should have such a loose cannon in their alliance. Coach comes close to winning Immunity, but "back spasms" in an endurance challenge take him down. JT and Stephen decide to save Coach again and get rid of Erinn. Tribal Council seems to only consist of really long, weird speeches by Coach, oh and let's not forget a truly odd poem he wrote. But to finish it all off, Coach essentially tells Erinn she's getting snuffed tonight and Stephen looks shocked. In the end, this must have pushed Stephen as it's a 3-2 vote (with a surprised JT) and finally the Dragon Slayer gets slayed. The jury rejoices. (Original image from CBS)

The Fashion Show - Some girl quits at 3am- onto the actual show. The same teams from last week will work together to create 4 looks for different events for socialite Tinsley Mortimer. The catch: all looks must be no more than $40. Team Tube Skirt wins easily, with an amazing cohesive collection and not a dud on the runway. Team Harem Pants were the losers because the clothes were hideous and in the case of Johnny, incomplete. He then goes on a rant about being a designer not a seamstress. He didn't come here to be America's Next Top Seamstress. So here's my gripe: moron, have you not watched a single fashion reality show? They all make the designers sew! Anyways, it's some other woman with creepy 80's hair who goes home for an ugly outfit with fishnet backing and dark magenta tulle. (Image from BuddyTV)

May 8, 2009

Reality Rundown: The Old and the Beautiful

In this Reality Rundown...

American Idol - It's rock & roll week and I was... underwhelmed.
I actually didn't like any of them that much, but according to everyone else, Adam Lambert was the best. Danny Gokey was horrible. He attempted to do Aerosmith's "Dream On" and it was just nonstop shouting and the worst scream endings (see video clip- screaming at the 1:30 mark). It was so bad, I cried laughing. But for some reason, [old] people love Danny Gokey and I'm sure he's safe. I'm thinking Kris Allen could be gone this week- he was just OK and it was nothing special.

Results show: Paula "sings" (Benji from SYTYCD is there!), No Doubt and Daughtry perform, I still consistently fast forward. The first person sent to safety is Kris- well, I'm wrong! Then Adam is saved. So it's down to Gokey and Allison and my heart stops. Could my dream come true? Did America finalize realize Gokey is mediocre? No, Allison goes home. I'm surprised but not. Here's hoping she gets a makeover before the Idols tour.

America's Next Top Model - The girls get samba lessons to learn to move, as well as fake what you can't do. Celia wins the challenge, which of course pisses off Aminant who thought she faked it best. You see, Celia actually danced well; Aminant danced average and just made posey faces. Tyra will be the photographer this week, with the girls dressed as birds. She of course makes a goofy interest but I'm going to do something I never do: compliment Tyra. As a photographer, she is able to offer some good insight and lessons to the models and she really captures the best of the 4. Allison has the best picture by a landslide; the other 3 are a crapshoot of who goes home. It come down to beautiful Aminant and old-faced Celia... and Celia is sent packing because being 25 is perhaps the worst thing imaginable in the modeling world. Next week: Finale! (Image from CWtv.com)

Make Me A Supermodel - The models are told to pick an accessory out from a table of options; after picking these accessories, they'll do a photoshoot with them... NAKED! Amanda is not down being naked, while everyone else seems gung ho. Salome wins best photo, but everyone is pissed because her shoot doesn't show her really out of shape lower half. The catwalk has the models as living art, wearing really funky clothes, but then a big fishbowl over their head filled with living butterflies- pretty! Sandhurst rocks it out, and wins immunity again. Branden's lost his mojo, and Amanda still stinks. Finally Amanda is given the news that they can't make her a supermodel and the models all rejoice to this news backstage. (Original image from BuddyTV)

Survivor - Auction time- which is my favorite event of the whole season. However, this one flew by but goodies included chicken parm, fries (I would've paid all $500 for those), and nachos. Taj gets a video from home with her husband wrapping it up saying "See you back at camp." Relatives are here! But there's a catch. All the friends and family can visit if Taj is willing to go to Exile (and her husband can come too), so of course she agrees. Family members and Coach's Assistant Coach visit camp- it's all happy and smiles. Gamewise, Debbie is ready to throw Coach under the bus, and even willing to sacrifice herself at Final 3 for Stephen and JT. Stephen and JT realize that every single person in this game loves them and has no desire to vote them off. The Immunity Challenge involves memorizing a pattern of math symbols and solving an equation and Stephen wins. However, bone to pick. They solved the equation from left to right, however, this blatantly disregards to "Please Excuse My Dear Aunt Sally" rules. I failed math and even I know that. Anyways, it seems like Coach is next to go for his annoying nature, but Debbie's brains pose a theat. Sierra and Brendan mock Coach from the jury, but it doesn't matter much as Debbie is the voted off the island. (Image from Tocatins.Survivor.com)

New! The Fashion Show - After losing Project Runway to Lifetime, Bravo put together this series and while it is just a different version of PR, I actually enjoyed it. Each week, designers have to put together a cohesive runway show together, with hosts/judges Isaac Mizrahi and Kelly Rowland (of Destiny's Child, and I think she's prettier than Beyonce. Yeah, I said it), and additionally Fern Mallis (seen often on PR) is a judge, too. They do a challenge first to make a little black dress out of a t-shirt; the 3 best designers will be Head Designer and pick teams for the first elimination challenge. And to pick teammates, they'll select based on the remaining dresses, not just pointing and saying "You in the yellow." For the first challenge they have to create a must-have item; there will be 5 looks each using that item. The must-have items end up being harem pants (aka Hammer pants), Bolero jackets, and tube skirts. Then these 5 looks will have a runway show where fashion industry experts will watch and judge; the audience will select the best collection. Best collection goes to the Bolero jacket group, despite having a lot of conflicts and a ridiculously dressed leader. The tube skirt group is the worst, as most of the models couldn't even fit into them. Some guy named Jonny D who made a weird Marilyn Monroe inspired top to go with the skirt leaves. I was pleasantly surprised to enjoy The Fashion Show (despite it's lame title). Sure PR is the leader, but the judges really take it seriously, as Isaac is both a good host and judge. So is Kelly, considering she's not a designer, just someone who wears fancy clothes. All in all, I'd give the premier a B and look forward to the rest of the season. (Image from Famespy)

May 1, 2009

Reality Rundown: Go Home and Get Laid

In this Reality Rundown...
American Idol • Tough Love • America's Next Top Model •
Make Me A Supermodel • Survivor

American Idol - It's Rat Pack week on Idol and to guide the contestant's through this week they get... JAIME FOXX? Yes, that Jaime Foxx, but he's actually a really good mentor. Everyone is pretty strong, but I'd definitely say Matt Giraud was the weakest and will be next out (surprisingly, Simon loved Matt this week). Adam Lambert's performance had him in an all-white suit and strutting down the stairs- he was like an emo angel. Allison was good, but a good point was made that it seems like she's there to sing, not in it to win it. Bottom 2 prediction: Matt and Allison, with Matt out. (image from NoahChristofer)

Results show: a really staged food fight and Taylor Hicks puts on some Ben-Gay to perform. Ryan splits the contestants into 2 groups. Group 1: Matt, Kris. Group 2: Allison, Gokey. Adam is then supposed to pick what group he thinks he should join and says that based off the performances, he'll picked Group 2. Ryan says well you're in Group 1, you're in the bottom 3- SERVED! Wow, I'm astonished. Kris is the first sent to safety and I'm bewildered by what could transpire. Luckily, Matt is the one leaving and Adam will have to pull out all the stops on rock & roll week. (image from LehighValleyLive.com)

Tough Love - Better late than never! Steve throws a dinner party and invites family and ex's of the girls- awkward! One girl had dumped the boyfriend right before coming here, but now doesn't regret it since he's such a tool. Arian speaks as crass and hoe-ish in front of her mother as she does the other girls. She even gets her mom to help gang up on Steve too. Oh and some girl Natasha doesn't want to deal with her ex or blind date so gets plastered. At the group discussion, Arian has a panic attack about being in the Hot Seat, but there wasn't going to be one. Steve tells her they just can't help her and she needs to pack up and leave. She then throws a fit, tries to get others to quit, and throws her luggage down the stairs. Next week: Finale! And exotic trips! (Image from VH1.com)

America's Next Top Model - Go-sees! Teyona does best, booking all the jobs, and wins some fashionable looks. Fo books no jobs because she's too commercial and too short. Judge Nigel Barker is the photographer for this week's shoot- swimsuits! The girls have the pose around a lot of weirdos and stick out. Teyona, who is so homely without makeout, is a gorgeous model. Aminant has a good body but poor poser. Big eyed Allison is great. Fo and Celia tank. Fo's body looks like a spider monkey, and Celia's is cliche and reheased. So who goes home: the shorty or the oldie? The shorty, adorable Fo and her freckles, heads off into the Brazilian sunset. Winner Prediction Alert! Every season we try to guess the winner based off the group shot. I predict this year's winner, based on the group photo will be... Aminant. (Image from CWtv.com)

Make Me a Supermodel - Posing with partners- animal partners that is! Sandhurst wins the photoshoot by posing with a calf, while Amanda on a more is a bit Equus for most's taste. Amanda is also grating on everyone's nerves, especially her overuse of the word "like." And finally the models get a visit from a personal trainer, which is crazy since last season that started on like, day 2. The catwalk has the models in tweed classics, much like D&G or Ralph Lauren. Jonathan has a face that will make a million bucks, Sandhurst is a bit too tall, and Mountaha is a face they'd remember. Amanda and Colin are the obvious bottom 2, and I think it's finally Amanda's time to go.. but, Colin is not ready to be a model, with Tyson giving him some advice for the road: "Go home and get laid." This is where I'd insert a slow clap as Colin walks out. (Image from BuddyTV)

Survivor - Deb and Coach scramble around this week knowing they're next on the chopping block. So desperate that they even approach lazy Sierra to try to vote out the 3 Jalapao (Taj, Stephen, JT), but Sierra's not having it. Stephen wins the reward challenge and sends Erinn to Exile, and it looks like the most miserable time there yet. See, I think if I had the chance to do Survivor, I'd totally do it, but Exile would be my greatest fear/downfall. When Stephen (and his guests Taj and JT) return from the reward, they all hear different sides of the "who tried to reunite Timbira" story. Coach bold-face lies that it was Sierra, which is great since Coach claims he never lies. Coach is the frontrunner to go home, until he wins Immunity, so they have to decide between strategic Deb and lazy wildcard Sierra. Surprisingly, Stephen gets one vote- but finally Sierra is voted off and I can enjoy the show more. It's anyone's game (not really, JT has it in the bag), but I'm glad they got rid of someone who didn't want to be there and didn't give a crap. Survivor is an opportunity people would give up a limb for, but Sierra was a waste who didn't want to play. Bon voyage! (Original image from Tocatins.Survivor.com)

April 24, 2009

Reality Rundown: Blindsides, blindsides... and Capoeira

In this Reality Rundown...
American Idol • America's Next Top Model •
Make Me A Supermodel • Survivor


American Idol - It's Disco week! And finally we lose the stupid intro videos and most interviews and it's right to the performances. Everyone made disco their own which means it sounded nothing like the cheesy disco I was craving. If disco wasn't dead, it died a second time after Lil Rounds performed. I don't like Gokey but he did sing my jam, "September." My bottom 3 prediction: Lil, Anoop, and last week's saved Matt, with Lil and Anoop out the door. But I'm going to make an early final 2 prediction: Adam Lambert and Kris Allen. Calling it now.

Results show: some disco legends perform and while it's nice to see them, I'm going to be honest: it was just sad. They don't have the same pizzazz or vocal chops, so it was hard to see. But Thelma Houston performed "Don't Leave Me This Way" (featured in the epic film 54) and I think that would have been what I performed if I were a contestant. Bottom 3: Lil, Anoop, and Allison. Allison is a great singer, but she has no personality and a busted look- sorry! But Lil and Anoop are sent packing, and my ears can finally get some rest. (Original image from USAToday)

America's Next Top Model - Ugh, watching this show was so tedious this week. Like the longest hour ever. The girl's are in Brazil, but nasty Natalie keeps complaining and says she doesn't get what's special about Brazil. What's not special about meeting the host of ANTM: Brazil and The Girl from Ipanema? They also learn some dance/karate style called capoeira and have a challenge that Fo wins (25 extra frames for her, 25 less for someone else). She then uses this victory to get back at Teyona who didn't pick her for the reward last week- apparently Fo is 13. The photoshoot has the girls wearing fruit hats and posing like Carmen Miranda (or was it Chiquita Banana?). It's a crappy shoot and nasty Natalie and annoying Aminant are the bottom 2, and eventhough Aminant stinks weekly, Natalie is on the next flight back to the States. (Image from BuddyTV)

Make Me A Supermodel - The models work in pairs in a 60's mod inspired photoshoot, which makes Salome nervous since she knows nothing about the 60s. And then of course she wins the best photo so everyone is ticked, especially House Bitch Laury who thinks Salome is a fraud. The catwalk challenge this week is awesome: it's like a rap battle meets fashion. 2 designers get 4 minutes to create and outfit from random materials, then the models strut down the runway. Salome again rocks and is given immunity. Laury I know is for sure going home- she stinks. I think Colin should leave based on his photo and catwalk, but it's Kerryn, a previous frontrunner, that's given her portfolio and a push out the door. But before Laury leaves, she makes sure to yell a lot at Salome for being a fake bitch. (image from BuddyTV)

Survivor - Another show with capoeira this week! A reward challenge sends 4 Survivors on a feast and a capoeira show this week, while Stephen heads to Exile hoping Brendan's idol has re-entered the game... it hasn't. Sierra is kissing azz for last week's vote, insisting she wasn't the mastermind and Tyson assures her he doesn't believe she was the mastermind, she's not smart enough and she's out next- zing! At the immunity challenge, if you feel safe you can shove your face full of pizza or if not, you can play Survivor Shuffleboard. Sierra comes so close to getting immunity, but luckily Deb gets it- phew! But with Tyson finally vulnerable, the others hatch a plan to get Tyson out now. And at Tribal Council, after Tyson declares his love for everyone in the game except Sierra, he is completely blindsided and voted off. NO! I'm stuck with Sierra and lose my favorite player- what a Debbie Downer. (Image from Tocatins.Survivor.com)

April 10, 2009

Reality Rundown: Call Me the Dragonslayer

In this Reality Rundown...
American Idol • America's Next Top Model • Make Me a Supermodel •
Survivor


American Idol - The theme this week is songs from the year the contestants were born. I was born in 1984, so I have some fantastic song choices. I think maybe I'd sing "Love is a Battlefield" or "Somebody's Watching Me." Leave what songs you'd pick in the comments!

Anyways, this episode sucked badly. The best were the last 2 performances of the night: Matt Giraud (my fave) and Adam Lambert, who I've been harsh on the last few weeks. In fact, Adam is so good he gets a standing ovation- from SIMON! That is huge, but of course many didn't see his performance since Idol ran over its timeslot by 7 minutes, which is completely BS. Luckily, I stopped my 9PM recording in time to catch Adam, but a lot of people missed an amazing performance. I surmise 3 possible reasons this run-over happened: 1. poor work by producers, 2. to punish DVR viewers, or 3. to artificially inflate Fringe's viewers. I don't know what the truth is, but I think it's a pretty crappy thing that those of us who DVR the show are constantly punished by run-overs. Bottom 3 prediction: Blind Scott, Lil Rounds, and cute Kris. Blind Scott should be the one eliminated, but the sympathy votes for him are overwhelming, so we'll see.

Results show. The run-over from the previous night's episode is completely ignored, which doesn't shock me but it would've been nice to acknowledge their inept producing ability. Let's get right to the bottom 3, which are Anoop, Lil Rounds, and Scott (so 2 out of 3 for me). I'm surprised Anoop is in the bottom 3 since he did well, but I guess he isn't as popular as I thought. Scott has the lowest number of votes so has a chance to save himself. Simon says the judges are split 2/2, and Scott says he'll "please Simon" in the coming weeks and I snicker. I'm begging the judges to please send him home, and thankfully, they do. But we don't know next week's theme since the last 3 minutes was Paula praising Scott to the high heavens. (images from BuddyTV.com)

America's Next Top Model - The girls get a lesson in acting from judge Paulina Porizkova and then get to apply those lessons in a scene with dreamboat CLAY AIKEN! It's super sexy and London wins, receiving $5,000 worth of clothes from Joe's Jeans, but she can't fit into them since she's packing on the pounds. Instead of a photoshoot, the girls do group commercials for Covergirl and none are very good. Celia is the best, but the judges tell her she looks old, and it's not her fault they styled her so mature. The bottom 2 are big-eyed Allison (same pose every time) and burn girl Talia (lacking personality, but the judges insist she's perfect for Covergirl and I just get it because I don't even think she has a model face). In the end Talia goes home and I'm so glad because she was getting on my last nerve each episode. (image from CWtv.com)

Make Me A Supermodel - The models have to pose underwater behind nets this week, and Salome the Mennonite doesn't know how to swim. The House Bitch, Jordan, wins the go-see and takes Salome, claiming it was about her overcoming her fear, but I am pretty sure it's because Jordan thinks she is a better and skinnier model (and Jordan books the go-see, boo). Meanwhile, I just realize there are still 11 contestants left. What the hell? This show has been on forever- did we start at like 24? At the catwalk, the women are wearing ruffles and red and the men are wearing light colored suits or something. Sandhurst finally had a good photo, so he wins immunity this week. The bottom comes down to Gabe, a regular at being bad, and Branden, whose ego is affecting his work. In the end, Gabe's pout is sent strutting home. Next week: Double elimination! (image from BuddyTV.com)

Survivor - Oh man, what a tense episode of strategizing... for nothing! So the tribes merge into Forza (but I loved one suggestion which was "Dingus"). Old Timbira is itching to split apart. Coach bonds with JT instantly and proposes an alliance of Coach, JT, Tyson, Stephen and Deb, and I'm loving this. Taj, who thought Brendan and Sierra would be ready to talk about aligning, ignore her (Brendan interviews he thinks they shouldn't talk until like 7 players are left- dumb!) Meanwhile, Joe aka Johnny Drama is not strategizing because his leg is really infected. Tyson wins the first individual immunity, while Probst has Joe stay behind to see medical. The new alliance decides to get Brendan out now and flush out the Idol, but also realize if Brendan plays the Idol, whoever he votes for is screwed, so they decide to split votes between Brendan and Sierra to get one out. Coach takes most credit for this idea (it was JT and Stephen's) and calls himself the Dragonslayer, which is hilarious. And then suddenly Jeff Probst arrives at camp with good news, bad news. Good news: no tribal council. Bad news: Joe's infection has taken him out of the game. BOO! I wanted a blindside and now we have to worry that with another 3 days of talking, this new amazing alliance might fall apart. (image from CBS.com)

April 3, 2009

Reality Rundown: Can't anyone properly hide a Hidden Immunity Idol

So a little intro before the Rundown begins. I'm going to try and make the Rundowns shorter cause 1. they take forever, 2. I'm sure you want them shorter, and 3. I'd like to cover more on my fantastical blog than recaps. So recaps will be a little shorter, and I think I'll drop some of the less popular shows (Sorry G's to Gents. You're on thin ice, Make Me A Supermodel) and stick to the big ones.

In this Reality Rundown...
American Idol • America's Next Top Model • Make Me A Supermodel •
Survivor


American Idol - The theme this week is any song as long as it's popular on iTunes which is soooo vague. So you could sing "Maneater" just because people download it a lot? I mean we have people doing Usher's "Caught Up" which was like 3 years ago and a random Bob Marley song. Blind Scott does sing well, but he's so dull to me, and to make it worse, they styled him so horribly that it's a good thing he can't see it. Best of the night hands down goes to Kris Allen who does "Ain't No Sunshine." I was so bored with the episode I couldn't tell you anything memorable besides Kris Allen. Oh, and that when Adam Lambert sings, I cringe from his weird looks at the camera. My guesses for the bottom 3 are Megan Joy, Matt Giraud (bad song choice and style), and Lil Rounds (horrible song choice). Anoop stunk too, but he's popular with viewers. Despite who is in the bottom 3, there is no doubt in my mind Megan is out. (image from BuddyTV.com)

On the results show, the judges again stress the importance of song choice and that maybe this theme was too wide. I say, no **** Sherlock! Paula's outfit is... well she looks like a drunk sorority girl the ready for her walk of shame the next morning. When the Idols perform in groups it reminds me of those awful Kidz Bop albums. The bottom 3 are Megan Joy (no brainer), Allison and her wannabe Spike from Degrassi Junior High hair, and Anoop. I think there are a lot of crummy singers this season, so picking the bottom 3 was difficult this week. Really, it's just a matter of suffering through a lot of losers until only the strong are left. Megan is voted off, but most awesomely is the judges don't even want to hear Megan sing again since she apparently said she didn't care- she's out and they wouldn't save her anyways. Next week's theme: songs from the year they were born. One of the themes I like best- I'll have to think about what song I'd sing. (images from BuddyTV.com and PopSerious)

America's Next Top Model - Celia knows she's in trouble after calling out Talia, and there's house drama. Beth Stern (Bababooey!) teaches facial posing and then the girl's pose in photos of Tyra with the face cut out, which is such a narcissist Tyra thing. They all stink. The photoshoot is beauty shots of the girls getting smacked in the face with different color powders and then emoting the color. Another Tyra "inner fierceness" voiceover and I can't stand it! Fierce is horrible!! When Celia gets up I'm preparing for a bitch-out from judges, but instead praise her photo and I'm shocked. I guess for once there is some maturity with these doofs. My picks for the bottom 2 are House Bitch and big-eyed Allison. Best of the week is Fo, hands down. The Celia bashing comes behind her back at panel deliberation, who didn't like her 'tude last week. This is not America's Next Top Best Friend, so what's the big deal? The bottom 2 are House Bitch and Celia. House Bitch yes, but Celia had an awesome photo- sending her home is stupid if this is supposed to be a modeling show. House Bitch is out, and yes, she thinks the judges are crazy and she is definitely the best one there. Au revoir House Bitch! (original image from CWtv.com)

Make Me A Supermodel - The episode starts with a military themed menage-a-trois photoshoot, mainly to try to teach sexy and sensual posing, not porno poses. Don't ask don't tell indeed! Jordan continues her reign as this show's House Bitch, while Montauna, Gabe, and Sandhurst get a semi-porno photo, and Jonathan wins best photo and wins a go see to 2(x)ist underwear, which I am familiar with due to my watching of The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency. Jonathan is great and is the first person this season to book the gig, mainly because he looks hot in underwear (Gabe went too but was too skinny for their taste). The models also get measured and again, they don't sugarcoat the fact that if you're out of shape you won't get a job. Take that Tyra! The catwalk has the women dress in suits and the guys in skirts and it's not as crazy as you'd like (I was hoping for prom dresses). Gabe and CJ regain their positions as the worst 2 models of the week, and even the women's mentor, Nicole, thinks CJ stinks and couldn't handle it, so finally the judges decide CJ just can't be made into a supermodel. (image from BuddyTV.com)

Survivor - Taj wants to tell chipped-tooth JT that she has the Idol, but Stephen isn't too sure about it. Timbira wins the reward challenge (which involves throwing clay pigs through barricades) and gets a BBQ and a day at a sweet waterfall with pool floats. They sendJoe (aka Johnny Drama) to Exile and he brings Erin, hoping to sway her to side come merge. Erin easily solves the immunity clues since all 5 there and she shares with Joe. Taj isn't too dumb and decides to hide a fake immunity idol back at Tree Mail for Joe to find (and when he finds it, he totally takes the bait). But when re-hiding her Idol, stupid Taj re-emerges, leaving the Idol in the fishing equipment bag, so JT finds the Idol. Taj and Stephen bring JT into the fold, omitting the part about aligning with Timbira members. After losing the immunity challenge again, Jalapao has to decide whether to vote out Taj or Sydney. While Taj found the Idol, technically Stephen possesses the Idol so if she goes home, they still have the Idol, so they ponder voting Taj out. Oh yes- I'm dying for another blindside! But at Tribal, pretty Sydney's torch is snuffed and I end the episode still craving a blindside. Next week: MERGE! (image from BuddyTV.com)

March 26, 2009

Reality Rundown: There's No Crying in Modeling.

Let's start this Rundown with some fun reality news. I went to the Photoshop World Conference this week at Hynes Convention Center in Boston. While walking to the Convention Center I saw some kid who looked so familiar, thinking maybe I went to high school with him. Then I realized, it's Tom Jr. from last season's The Biggest Loser. He was still overweight, but definitely not as big as he originally was on the Biggest Loser. Then, inside the conference, I noticed this good looking guy who looked extremely familiar. It was Kaysar from Big Brother 6! But I wasn't sure it was him at first, so I tried to get a look at his name badge to no avail. So I got the courage and approached him and said, "Sorry to ask, I'm sure you get bothered a lot, but are you Kaysar from Big Brother?" He was really nice (much more attractive in person) and I told him I was a fan of the show, as was my dad (and when he heard the story, my dad was disappointed I didn't ask the Big Brother 20 questions). So 2 reality alum sightings in a day- that's a record for me.

And for some bad news. First, this week was a Survivor clip show so I skipped it because it would be boring and there's no need to recap that. Also, I missed from G's to Gents. I know, I feel horrible! So unless I can sneak in the episode somehow, it looks like we'll be missing this week's coverage, but I'll try to get the deets for the next Rundown.

So, In this Reality Rundown...
American Idol • America's Next Top Model • Make Me A Supermodel •
Paula Abdul Mustache Photo Contest!!!


American Idol - Theme: Motown. Crossing my fingers for some Frankie Lymon! I'm actually watching the show while I type this, so I think I can give opinions of each as I watch. So first, the contestants travel to Detroit and get to meet Berry Gordy and Smokey Robinson, so now when the contestants fail miserably they'll have to feel guilty for shaming these two. Matt Giraud sings "Let's Get It On" and he's so talented and probably my favorite, even if he's a little fug. Kris Allen makes "How Sweet It Is (To Be Loved By You)" his own, while maintaining his status as a dreamboat for the ladies. Scott the Blind Guy does "You Can't Hurry Love," a song I love, and he is still really dull for me, doesn't seem to be with the music, and wears creepy pastel pink skinny jeans. But ladies, he's single! Megan Joy sings "For Once in My Life" and I think I'm over her and her unique voice now, mainly cause there are others better than her. Randy calls it a trainwreck, and even Paula doesn't like it, so that's when you know you are screwed. Anoop performs "Oh, Baby Baby" and I think he does very well; my dad is calling this best of the night, but I'm not as over the moon as him. Ugh, Michael Sarver time; he's doing "Ain't Too Proud to Beg" and I think he ain't to proud to beg for votes since he sucks- sorry! His performance to me is yelling and corny lounge singer and as my dad sasses "He's taking dancing lessons from Ellen." Even Paula hates it- you're screwed again Sarver! Simon even tells him that he's just partaking in the competition, he's not winning- amen! Lil Rounds chose "Heatwave" and I am STOKED. I love this song and know Lil has the chops to pull it off. It's pretty good, but not great. I think I was enjoying it more cause the song is my jam. Time for Adam Lambert to desecrate another legendary song- he's doing "Tracks of my Tears" by mentor Smokey Robinson. Adam slicked his hair back and suited up, though my dad thought it was KD Lang (and now my dad acknowledges he is on a roll tonight for my blog). Adam does well and doesn't completely ruin a classic song (see: "Ring of Fire" last week), but Simon says it's the best of the night and says Adam's a star. Danny Gokey will be taking on "Get Ready" and I associate this song with Problem Child 2 when Jr. ruins all his dad's dates, so swallow that movie trivia knowledge. Simon calls it clumsy and amateurish; the others enjoy him, but think it's more so personality they love. Allison picks "Papa Was A Rolling Stone" is that one moron who picks a song she doesn't even know. She doesn't forget the words and really knows it out of the park. Her voice is amazing for a 16 year old. However the greatest moment of the night is when Simon draws a moustache on Paula using a Sharpie and can't stop laughing and neither can we. So by the conclusion of Motown night there are 2 definite clunkers that I am fine with going home, but with all the song choices, the night should've been called Marvin Gaye night. (image of Paula and her 'stache from Dlisted.com)

Results show- lots of fast forwarding, so let's get to the bottom. My main man Matt Giraud is up first and first is usually safe- WRONG! Matt is in the bottom! OMGWTF?!?!?! Are you people insane. Luckily my mortal enemy Michael Sarver took he deserved space in the bottom as well. They dramatically hold off the other 2 losers, Megan Joy and blind Scott, until the end and it's Blind Scott in the bottom. So even the judges wonder why Matt's in the bottom, so Ryan says let's save one of these 3 right now- Blind Scott is safe! Again, OMGWTF?!?! Please, use the save judges! Stevie Wonder does a medley, putting all these Idol losers to shame. But Paula ruins it as she sings along and dances on the sidelines- she's like that drunk woman who always ends up in front of you at a concert, annoying you to no end. Time for the final decision: America has voted out Michael Sarver. PTL! He gets to perform one more time, but please, he is not getting saved. (original image from Riosoriano07)

America's Next Top Model - The girls have a slumber party with former Top Model contestant, and plus size model, Toccara. She's been sent over to teach the girls about personality, because personality and confidence is important in this industry. The girls get Tyra Mail and head out to meet with BENNY NINJA, posing extraordinaire. This excites me immensely. Benny Ninja is with some DJ, talking about modeling and music going together. They're using music to motivate posing, and I could care less about the models and just want to see Benny Ninja work his amazing magical body. The girls pair up and pose to the music, which ranges from elevator to rock to jazz, and of course there are winners and duds (and the duds are the ones who have been dudding it up since day one). The challenge has the girls modeling for an event for some elite people in NYC and the audience will get to boo and cheer for the poses- amazing, bring on the boos! Lots of boos, few cheers. My girl Celia gets tons of cheers which is great. Natalie, the arrogant one from last week, wins her heat. Her and Celia go head to head to determine a winner and clearly, Celia wins, since Natalie almost falls. The girl with the burns complains again after getting booed and still not being very good; she didn't realize the toll it would have on her self esteem, wants to go home, and I just don't feel like rambling on about this but again, this is modeling moron! Tyra Mail says something about migrating, and the girls think birds, and I hope it's not birds since I'm bird-phobic. Well, it's an Ellis Island immigrant themed shoot, with old-fashioned film, standing very still, and creating dynamic fashion poses- but don't worry, Benny Ninja is in the shot (and some derelict-looking kids). Let's face it, this is a snooze, so I'm just waiting for panel to bring some excitement. However, I think it's pretty obvious based on her suckage in the challenge, photoshoot, and her increase in screentime, that Courtney, the kinda-plus size Dale Earnhart-ex, is heading home. But the girls want Talia the burn girl to go home because she wants to go home when she fails, but when she does well, she's all for it; the girls think if Talia stays they should tell panel that she doesn't want to be here. Tyra uses this episode to promote heading to a foreign land to inspire young girls- gag. The bottom 2 end up being Courtney (as I predicted) and House Bitch (who had a really dull photo). House Bitch is safe, Courtney goes home- I predicted right! Whenever Top Model focus on someone more they go home. BUT WAIT! After elimination, Celia steps up and calls out Talia the burn girl, telling the judges how Talia days ago was saying she wanted to go home and this wasn't a good career move for her. So Tyra gets pissed- at Celia! She said Talia didn't tell her, so basically, STFU, the judges decided. Served :( Like it matters- they want Talia around for the whole "story" angle of the show. (image from BuddyTV.com)

Make Me A Supermodel - Tyson is out of town this week, so Michael Bergin ("supermodel", but to me, star of Baywatch!) fills in as the guy's mentor. The photoshoot involves the models posing with someone special to them: themselves. They'll pose with a mirror and exude emotions. There will be 2 winners who will get a special go-see at Montreal Fashion Week to potentially walk in a show (and each winner gets to bring someone). There are some real standouts, but some real duds who are a bit dead behind the eyes (see: young Colin). Amanda and Branden win, and they bring Colin and Montauha, and they all end up booking the job and walk in Montreal Fashion Week. The catwalk challenge is to get dressed like freaks and then do a freaky walk down the runway and for the most part, the walks are horrible. Some hot dude named Jonathan wins immunity. Amanda, despite the photographer deeming her photo best, is blasted by the judges who thinks it's emotionless and dull. She then has a mild panic attack, to which a judge declares "There's no crying in modeling" (thanks again, Tom Hanks). They basically tell her check your emotions and STFU, so that's good times. The bottom 2 are Colin and this other guy who is the only gay man on the show (and his walk was absolutely atrocious and he had to wear this weird bedazzled and bejeweled bodysuit). Anyways, the only gay man goes home to no surprise. I couldn't find a photo of him, so enjoy this video of the catwalk instead.






NOW the PAULA ABDUL MUSTACHE CONTEST!!, which is something pretty awesome. Mel Got Served is holding's its first Photoshop/Paint party. In honor of Simon's Sharpie-ing of Paula Abdul, I'm posting a photo of Paula Abdul below and want YOU to submit your best Paula mustaches. I'll post your entries on the blog. Email entries to melgotserved@gmail.com (image from BuddyTV.com)


March 20, 2009

Reality Rundown: My Very First Codpiece

Sad news Rundown fans: no Survivor this week. I know, I'm extremely depressed as well. This week's Rundown will be somewhat shorter since there's no Survivor and I decided The Chopping Block wasn't worth my time. Enough blabbing, let's get this Rundown started!

In this Reality Rundown...

American Idol • From G's to Gents • America's Next Top Model •
Make Me a Supermodel


American Idol - It's country week and I'm cringing because I dislike country (except Reba!) and usually contestants royally maim the songs. But I was pleasantly surprised this week because they weren't too bad. However, not a single Reba song- total BS! Where's some "Fancy"?? My favorite now, 2 weeks in a row, is Matt Giraud. He did a great job last night and I could see myself listening to his music. Anoop stepped up his game and showed Simon he deserved to be there. Danny Gokey was OK, but he sang Carrie Underwood's "Jesus Take the Wheel" and that song is weird. But of course, there were stumbles. Lil Rounds wasn't great- her chorus was good, best the rest blah. And then the judges say she should've done "I Will Always Love You" which I think is the country week cop-out for R&B singers, so I'm at least glad she didn't go so cliche. Pink hair girl Alexis did "Jolene" and it was bad. The Oil Driller stunk- worst of the night by far and deserves to go home. Blind Guy was boring as usual. Paula told him he should not play the piano because he uses it as a crutch- yet she didn't bring that up with Matt Giraud, who also sits behind a piano and performs; and Simon disagreed with Paula thinking the piano works. Paula needs to word things better, because clearly she meant he needs to connect with the audience but isn't. Here's an idea for Blind Guy: pick songs we know and stop being so dull! He makes such odd picks. But my personal worst of the night was Matt Lambert's complete and utter destruction of Johnny Cash's "Ring of Fire," a personal fave. Simon called it indulgent, and he was so right on. It was this weird goth meets Egyptian sitar meets The Doors rendition and it was absolutely horrible (Paula compared it to Led Zepplin's "Kashmir" and I wonder if she's heard the song, because "Kashmir" sounds nothing like the crap just performed). I really hated it, but I'm sure others loved it- diff'rent strokes. So based on Tuesday's performances, I think Oil Driller should go home, because he's a bad singer and oddly proportioned.

So results show, which I again FF'ed through 92% of it. They let 3 people off the hook quickly and then make the 16 year old and the Oil Driller (my pick to go home) stand up, and Ryan sends 16 year old to the stage, and I get pissed! How can Oil Driller be safe, he was horrible! Not so fast, he's brought down too- phew! And then they dramatically hold off Adam Lambert, who I hated, and Alexis, who had a down night, til the end and I know stupid Adam is safe. When they ask Randy which of those 2 will be in the bottom he says Allison... ummm, her name is Alexis and she looks pretty pissed about Randy not even knowing her name. So for the bottom 3, they send 16 year old back right away (she's Allison), and it's down to Alexis and Oil Drilling Michael Sarver, so clearly Michael is going home. The judges say that between those 2, they would use the save potentially on one of them. WRONG! Michael is safe; I'm livid. But the judges do tell Alexis that she is a contestant they'd considering using the save on (take THAT, Sarver!), so she performs again but it's not good enough and Alexis is gone. Now here's my thing: if a person is getting eliminated, it's because they chose a bad song and stunk the night before, so if they have to re-perform the same song that got them into the bottom to save them, then how will they be helped? They should have a backup song available to help show that they deserve it. Ugh, so Michael Sarver stays and is now part of the Idol tour. Good thing I wouldn't go to that crap or I'd be severely annoyed. (images from BuddyTV.com)

From G's to Gents - The G's learn about business and career goals from reality TV and bar/restaurant empire runner, Mike "Boogie" Malin. As a Big Brother fan, it's good to see him. Fahim seems to be least interested in future goals, citing "gangsta" as past job, and no career aspirations except to be Fahim a "gentle-man." For the task this week, the G's run a photo shoot for rapper E-40, and I hope there is some Santana DVX on the set. Fahim is made team leader which is a no-brainer mistake. While dealing with the models Fahim croses the line and calls them something bleeped (I'm thinking ho's) and that's a big no-no. Mito steps up and takes the leadership role, but the rest of the team doesn't appreciate it. Teddy is the best in the challenge so gets immunity, but crappy boss Fahim gets to hang out with E-40 afterwards and pick one friend... and he picks Lank, because he's funny. Mito's pissed because he thinks Lank didn't do any work, but mostly because he wants to chill with 40. Back at the house, the G's tell Lank they think he did crappy this challenge, but Lank says Mito was being too bossy and that Mito is a fake thug. G-fight! Black Ball ceremony! Lank gets one vote and Mr. Bentley says "one vote is personal" so Lank goes off on Mito- but Mito didn't vote for Lank! It was Blue- hahaha! Mito's box is pretty full, mostly because they think he's already a gentlemen and has a steady life. And Fahim gets the last ball, courtesy of Mito, because he feels Fahim isn't a good representative of the Gentlemen's Club. Fahim's membership gets denied and he lets out one last loud "FAHIM!" Mr. Bentley reminds the G's of why they're here and who they should be voting for: you're supposed to progress and make strides. Next week: survival! (image from MTV.com)

America's Next Top Model - A girl named Nijah is the first person to talk in the episode, so going by the ANTM formula, she'll be going home. Miss J teaches the girls to walk and one girl, Natalie, has modeled before and is way cocky about being the best. The girl with the big eyes is awful and needs a lot of work. So it's no surprise that the next day is a runway challenge for designer Jill Stuart, which leads the girls to think someone will go home then, so they all practice. The show goes well and many take Miss J's lessons to heart- even big eyed girl isn't so bad. Model-it-all Natalie wins the challenge, but is disliked by the girl with the burns (Tahlia), since Natalie in Truth or Dare said Tahlia had the weakest picture last panel. BURN! Oh, bad word use- that seriously was unintentional, but I'm leaving it. The photo shoot this week is to ride on a double decker bus around famous spots in NYC and pose as pairs in character, like Wall Street Brokers, Time Square Tourists, and Nannies. The worst picture is the pair as Muses in SoHo or something like that- and that Nijah girl mentioned above is in it, so do the math. Model-it-all Natalie is the weakest in her trio of Tourists, with Tahlia even better than her (but she still isn't very good). And big eyed girl doesn't do well either. In panel, House Bitch is awarded best picture of the week, and she deserves it as she was finally good. The bottom 2 ends up being Nijah and big-eyed girl, and Nijah goes home- the formula lives on! (image from CWtv.com)

Make Me A Supermodel - Everyone can't stand CJ and her bad attitude, so when everyone has to take group shots, no one wants CJ in their group. The group shots are sports themed and they'll be flying on harnesses. The first group is a total flop since none of them know sports. But other groups do particularly well, especially Amanda, Laury, and Kerryn who have to do rugby, and they think they have the best photo and one of them will win the go-see. Indeed they do win best photo and the best person in the photo is Amanda, who wins a go-see to Bloomingdale's. But Laury is pissed and when probed by the group if they think Amanda had the best picture Laury says (paraphrasing), "Well she was in the best picture, but I don't think she's best in it." ME-OW! What a bitch- someone is this show's new House Bitch. Laury thinks she deserved it, eventhough in her picture her face has a horrible growl look, as mentor Nicole points out. So Amanda goes on the go-see and brings Kerryn with her, and they talk a lot about Amanda being a single mom. Amanda rocks the go see and Bloomie's almost books her, but just thinks she's not ready yet. While at the go-sees, the other contestants put on wigs and costumes for a zany impromptu photo shoot and they realize CJ isn't so bad. Catwalk! They'll be wearing sporty outfits accompanied by this weird wire-ish things, I can't explain. And codpieces for the men! As one guy interviews, "This is my very first codpiece. Got to mark this down on the calendar." At the end of the catwalk they need to pose in an Olympic sport-inspired pose, and this can get pretty funny (girl who pretends to bowl). Jonathan is one of the best, with a good cricket pose but also not being intimidated by the codpiece, but Kerryn wins for her great improvement and pose (tennis maybe?). In the end, the bottom 2 are bad attitude Gabe (who blamed CJ for his bad picture) and Karen (who makes the scariest dead-in-headlights look at the end of the catwalk). They decide to give Gabe one last chance and Karen and those scary eyes are not supermodel material. (image from BuddyTV.com)